Friendships Are Golden

Good afternoon Maggie, I live in Los Angeles. Approximately 20 years ago, I came to find out that a few of my friends moved back into our neighborhood. What was surprising is that we all had gotten divorced. So I started a social support group. I called our group "The Lonely Hearts Club." To be a member you have to meet at least 2 criteria. You have to be from our neighborhood, be divorced, or a grand father. We meet every Friday night, and play cards, drink, tell jokes, share experiences, and some even smoke. Our club plans social events, like BBQ's, attend concerts, attend sporting events, have jams, and play golf. We have a big party to celebrate the Dodgers Opening Day, we attend Raider games, we attend weekend music festivals, and watch playoff games college as well as professional. Some of our members have gotten remarried, or have gotten back with their spouse. Anyhow, our group treasures the friendship that we have. Most of us have known each other for over 50 years. We currently still meet every Friday night. We have been approached by female friends, that are interested in joining our club. Most do not meet the 2 criteria standard. So we are still a male social support group. But we do invite our female friends to our social events. Friendships are Golden. 

I dunno. It seems like it's mostly luck (natural/organic). You just throw stuff out there and see if it clicks. Sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn't. The biggest obstacle is that that life gets in the way of friendships. And, the stuff that clicks are with people that are like ships passing in the night. Not very compatible with long term friendships. But, sometimes you get lucky.  Who really knows?

I have the good fortune of having a best friend for the last 50 years. We met as next-door-neighbors, shared tears and prayers over our children, and shared the scariness of our medical concerns in the last few years. Although our paths have diverged politically, and we are no longer next door to each other, we remain closer than ever--having recognized that you don't throw out 50 years of friendship and history just because you don't agree on some things.

It is important to cultivate friendships in multiple generations.  As we age our friends and family age with us.  Having friends in multiple age groups provides an important balance of sustainable loving, caring and interesting relationships.  I am fortunate to have such friendships but it is easy for me because as my children used to complain when they were growing up 'my mother talks to EVERYONE'.  It's true, well maybe not everyone, but I am quite interested in people.  I enjoy lots of different activities and meeting people from all walks of life.  Everyone has a story to share.  I try to pass on this nugget to others. 

I have people with whom I’m friendly, but I don’t have any real friends now. Those who were considered true friends have all either moved far away, married and started a family creating a new lifestyle, or died. I would love to have a friend though. All in all, I’m glad that I like my own company, or loneliness would take over.