🤔 What CHALLENGE(s) Are YOU Facing RIGHT NOW?

@EileenP559346  As I go into year 5 without

him, I think his birthday and anniversary of death

are the hardest days. For me, his birthday came

less then 2 weeks before he died. So those two

dates are wrapped around each other forever

for me. I can tell you it gets easier but never

easy, if that makes sense. I am best if I’m alone 

on those days because I spend a lot of time in

tears. And I honor him those days especially by

doing something he enjoyed, if I can and thru

music. But it’s a very individual experience.

Prayers to you always 🙏🙏

1 comment (1/25/23) Well it was one of my feel sorry for myself days. But just now realized how AWESOME the folks were at my bank today. 🙂 Today was day number 2 of my famous 6am alarm going off to run errands and to be honest, thought about just laying in bed and not moving. But I got up and so GLAD I did! As the saying goes, the kindness of strangers fills us up. Luv you all, Nicole 🤎🤗

Hi, Nicole, thank you for being so proactive.  I noticed that you are a "trusted contributor" which is good for you.  Does this mean that you are affiliated with AARP and that is why you have so many valuable resources?  Just wondering.  Keep up the good work.  

My family and friends want a Celebration of Life which is ok, but ifI invite all of the people who are telling me they want to come, I can't afford it.

What do I say to these people?  How do I explain I can't afflord over a certain number of people?

There are so many challenges.  Practical challenges like having to call repair people.  And then the hardest challenge.  It has been 8+ months and I feel more in the throws of missing him than I did a few months ago.  And the challenge is that my friends and family pretty much don't want to hear it anymore.  They don't know how to comfort me anymore.  And I totally get it.  But they may have moved on but I haven't.  I still need to talk about him and my pain.  I am starting Grief Share again this Sunday.  I really hope that helps.  I need something to help.  I wake up in the morning and my first thought is of him and how much I miss him.  I go to bed and my last thought is also of missing him.  I know my story isn't unique and I feel for each and every one of you that is also going through this terrible grief.  

Hi, Nicole and all who posted comments or read each other's comments on this topic.  Yes, I agree with the sentiments shared even after a year of grieving.  I remember that someone responded earlier and said they had similar feelings after 5 years.  I guess we have to try to find a peaceful life with no regrets and feelings of self-worth.  Those goals in and of themselves are hard to attain and may take some time to adjust.  As I mentioned earlier, my biggest challenge has been the polarity of loneliness and also toxic relationships.  I guess when one is lonely it is natural to seek out others but not at the cost of your own mental and physical health.  I sense that we are still vulnerable since the passing of our loved one so don't put yourself in unnecessary bad relationships or situations.  Have an exit strategy when you go out or limit the time spent.  With winter and various respiratory diseases, we need to concentrate on staying well. As someone already pointed out, we are now on our own caregiver.  Scary thought, so maintaining health is critical.  I am trying to find interests or return to prior interests so that I can relax and start becoming more at ease at home and in doing so, hope to meet new people who share my interests.  That is probably doable and could be an unexpected pleasure.  Good luck everyone.  I know the weekends, especially with the extreme weather is a challenge.  Take care of yourself.  You have this forum for venting and sharing. 

It's been a rough weekend and yes they can be lonely. There was heavy rain the past two mornings that prevented me from going out. I really need to get out the door in the morning to start my day. Finally some sun this afternoon so I could take a nature walk and go food shopping. On the positive side, there was a beautiful rainbow yesterday morning and I bumped into people today who smiled and/or said hello. 🙂

2 comments (2/7/23) Lack of healthy sleep due to neighbors from hell has been a challenge for this old lady. Lol, it is like you are already drained from thinking and grieving. But another kindred spirit from our AWESOME AND CARING Grief & Loss Forum reminded me last night via chat that soon I will have enough saved and Florida Housing will stabilize. Oh yes, NO more shared walls or parking lots for me. Thank you Lee @LeeS4949 for that reminder. Now to hang on to my GOAL of leaving Virginia and my cute Studio Apartment heading to a cute Small Cottage in Florida and in same state as my only child. My best friend! Luv you ALL, Nicole 🤗🤎

Hi, all, as Patti LaBelle said, "tomorrow is not a promise." Too often we defer having a good day due to our many emotions which are legitimate, but will we be regretful tomorrow?  I think balance is important but not always attainable.  

Hi, Nicole, I read your post about hopefully your bills will go down.  Maybe that is true for food and other items related to being only one person.  However, I have found that many other items will stay the same, like rent, mortgage, real estate taxes, property taxes, regardless of only being one.  In addition to that, unless you have a dependent living with you, you will be taxed as single and get half the Federal standard deduction.  There is also impact on the state level depending what state you live in and if they have an income tax.  Sobering fact, which many don't know until they file the first year after their spouse passed.