🤗 WE are thinking of YOU! Please Stop By To See Us :)

[Anonymous]

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WE cry, rejoice, talk, share!

Whatever YOU need, WE are here for YOU.

***YOU are a very SPECIAL person and WE want to hear from YOU***

Grief & Loss Team 🤗

[SummerIsTooHOT]

@mc6844 and @jonibee - MC and Jonibee, I HOPE you are both okay.

Missing you,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[SummerIsTooHOT]

THIS MAY HELP YOU!!! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

@AARPsneed wrote:

I'm so sorry for your loss and to learn you're having a rough time right now but know you are not alone and there are resources available.

[1] The AARP  Friendly Voice program has volunteers available Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. — 5 p.m. ET.

[2] The AARP Virtual Community Center  FREE interactive online events and classes designed for learning, self improvement, and fun.

[3] Local AARP events — Includes local in-person and virtual events. Go to local.aarp.org

[4] Learning Library — Includes in-person and virtual events. Go to learn.aarp.org

[5] Senior Planet — For technology, fitness, wellness workshops and more! Go to seniorplanet.org

[6] Movies for Grownups — Free online movie screenings! Go to aarp.org/FreeMovies

[7] Find articles and resources from experts.

- Help Guide on Grief & Loss

-  If you find yourself struggling with Isolation  

[8] A great resource on grief -Taking Care of Yourself - Grief, Loss and Healing

[9] Grief Support and Groups 
Use the Yellow Pages and call hospitals and hospices near you.

Ask to speak with the Bereavement Coordinator, Social Worker, or Chaplain's Office to get a local grief referral.

Many hospitals and hospices provide grief support to clients for up to one year following a death and offer groups to the general public.

[11] Thank you so much for reaching out for help. Remember there are a community of people here for you. Please take care of yourself.

AARPSneed, AARP Social Response Team

[SummerIsTooHOT]

📚  Grief & Loss Books - AARP Online Community. ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌See link at bottom of this post!  🔽

READ any books that has helped YOU? Stop by and tell us about them.

And checkout the suggestions left by OTHERS!!!  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

https://community.aarp.org/t5/Grief-Loss/Grief-amp-Loss-Books/m-p/2475048#M1224

[SummerIsTooHOT]

ANY VACATIONS OR ROAD TRIPS?

📸  A .gif attached  📸

[SummerIsTooHOT]

♻️ (1 comment) IT IS A SUBJECT I AND MY DAUGHTER USE TO AVOID UNTIL SHE LOST HER FATHER. NOW SHE UNDERSTANDS WHY I HAD TOLD HER WHERE EVERYTHING IS FOR WHEN I PASS. WHAT DO YOU HAVE SET UP SO FAR FOR YOURSELF?  🤔 ANY TIPS TO SHARE?  🤔

Me - I set up an area on my bookshelf for ALL legal documents. I am working on the cremation end of things.  MY TIP: Try NOT to dwell on your passing as we ALL will one day. Just TRY to remember the ones we leave behind will be GRIEVING. Anything we can do while still ALIVE to make things easier shows we LUV them!!!  👍👍👍

[MarcyW882921]

I have a portable plastic box set up with all of my important documents. I prepared it to be something I can easily grab and run with during hurricane season and also for utilization at the end of my life by my family designees.

Marcy

[SummerIsTooHOT]

♻️  (1 comment) REMEMBER THE SAYING AND PRAYER ABOUT STUFF AND PEOPLE WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER? HOW ARE YOU DEALING WITH THESE SITUATIONS RIGHT NOW? THANKS, NICOLE  🤗🤗🤗

Me - my right now have NO CONTROL OVER are my Neighbors From H.ll Above Me. I won't lie and say I like them. I don't!!!  😱😱😱  It has been H.LL with all 3 sets of neighbors above me since moving in 2018. Luv my Cute Studio Apt in the Virginia hills but NO MORE neighbors next to me when I move. Until then, MY MUSIC keeps me SANE.

[Therapist4u]

REMEMBER THE SAYING AND PRAYER ABOUT STUFF AND PEOPLE WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER?

God, grant me the....

God, grant me the PURRrenity

😄

[SummerIsTooHOT]

👂  1 comment  (♻️)  Remember, listening to someone costs zero and you have made that person feel wanted and cared for.

YES, we all receive the stuff that cost money (money, giftcards, flowers, condolence cards/notes) BUT I know how much being listened to has WARMED my insides!!!

So think of someone TODAY who may be NEEDING your ear...

Thanks,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[mc6844]

This is good to remember Nicole. We do get busy and temporarily forget that everyone has their sufferings. 

[SummerIsTooHOT]

♻️  (1 comment) HOW ARE YOU MEETING NEW PEOPLE?  🤔

Me - Ironically I read this in my Google News. It is exactly what I am doing (reaching out to random strangers), subject to change of course. Thanks, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[1] Visit a park at the same time each day. Note the other people around. If comfortable, strike up a conversation with folks who appear approachable.

[2] If you enjoy an article, newsletter or book, let the author know.

[3] Say hello to someone you come across in your neighborhood, at the store or library. Ask them about their day.

https://www.signalsaz.com/articles/how-to-deal-with-loneliness-in-retirement/

[MarcyW882921]

Get on a mailing list at a religious institution that is active. These types of institutions have many opportunities for volunteering, learning, socializing, and becoming part of a community.

Marcy

[SummerIsTooHOT]

♻️  (1 comment) HOW ARE YOU HANDLING THE HOLIDAYS AND DAYS LIKE MOTHER'S AND FATHER'S DAYS - BIRTHDAYS - ANNIVERSARIES AND SO ON?  🤔

Me, I have never been a Group Person and as soon as I turned 18, started to "skip" the gatherings. I luv the one-on-one interactions. As far as Father's Day, he was never the father my daughter deserved [drug and crime issues], so she never did the day. Every day is Mother's Day for me = she makes sure I am okay every day. She is the opposite of me and while she avoids family  🙄,  she has had Extended Family & Friends all her life. So she spends the holidays with them.  👍

Thanks,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[mc6844]

I wanted to stop by today. All on the forum are in my thoughts and prayers. Please take care and take it easy. One day goes into the next, and each day takes care of itself! 💓 

[SummerIsTooHOT]

♻️  (2 comments) In my opinion, Living In The Moment helps to keep us SANE - HOPEFUL & PEACEFUL!!! What are YOUR THOUGHTS on this?  Thanks, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

Me - it is taking my all to NOT get angry and mourne the "possible" loss of a dear friend. One I didnot go looking for and who has RENEWED my HOPE of meeting HEALTHY HUMANS in my journey. I had told you guys about Dalinda, a Walmart Employee. Her cancer is back  😭😭😭  But you would NEVER know. I pry stuff out of her when she says she is okay. Then it is like the water has been released and she hugs me and tells me WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON. Lol, my Weekly Term = hmmm, now tell me what is really going on AFTER her 1st response to my Weekly How Are You Doing Question of I am OK. I am FINALLY learning that life brings us WHAT WE NEED and forever long it lasts, we NEED TO ENJOY IT. 👍

[mc6844]

Nicole, how lovely is your care for Dalinda, and her for you. It reminds me that everyone we meet has challenges and problems. I'm sure Dalinda is always happy to see you. I'm not sure everyone is always happy to see me  lol. Except I keep going. I'm glad you're getting out and about. And it's nice you girls have these meet-ups. Those moments are important.

[MarcyW882921]

Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT ,

You are in Dalinda's life at a time when she really needs someone. You are to be commended for being there, for recognizing her needs, and allowing her to be heard! Maybe she is in your life to show you there are good, caring, appreciative people and The importance of making the best of every moment we have in life.

Marcy

[SummerIsTooHOT]

♻️  (4 comments) Some of us are already VERY ACTIVE in our NEW lives, while others NEED to get back into the groove. Hmmm, which are YOU? And IF you feel up to it, tell us what has been going on in YOUR LIFE!!! Thanks, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

Me - lol, lazy and lazy!!! But finally feeling an "interest" to dig up my Old Hobbies. Now to actually do this.  🙄🙄🙄

I do miss my walks in nature but as I AGE just cannot deal with the I OWN NATURE mentality of some youngsters. Gosh, I return MORE STRESSED than when I left. So I have to find someplace safe and not taken over by humans. Wish me luck!!!  👍

[Cadee2719]

  I made it back on the site!  Yeah   I have made the move.  Sold my house in California and have moved to my new home in Idaho.  Was it hard.....you bet.  Packing up a house I lived in for 46 years and moving to a new state at the age of 80 was not a simple task.    It was all worth it.  I feel safe, I am in a community of kind and helpful people, love my new home,  am able to go any where I want and not be afraid.  I did not know a place such as this existed. I am sad that my beautiful neighborhood in California became a haven for the homeless, crime and fear. It   was not an easy task but I did it and I do not regret it.  We each must do what is right for ourselves to live our lives as we choose.  It took me a year and a half to complete this process but I DID IT!

[MarcyW882921]

I am so proud of you Cadee @Cadee2719 ! I can't imagine how hard this moving process has been for you on top of your grief. You made the hard decisions, did the work, and it sounds like the benefits are now paying off for you. Enjoy your new home in a warm and safe community! You certainly deserve it my friend.

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

 Thank You Marcy.  Thanks to the support from you, Nicole and others here, I survived.  My neighborhood is a smaller neighborhood within a larger one.  Everyone knows everyone.  They have block parties and everyone contributes and attends.  They look out for each other and their kids. It is a mixture of young and old. The Dads are out there playing with their kids and the mothers sit on blankets on the front yard and watch.  It reminds me of the small town in Pennsylvania where I grew up.  Yet, Meridian is a very active city; shops, good restaurants, and a lot of activities.  There are walking paths, bike paths and a lot of outdoor activities.   The wineries are close by and always have some entertainment taking place.  I am near Boise where there is even more to do.  Today I had to go and take my driver's test, 40 questions, you can miss 6.  ( I missed 1)   Monday, I need to go to the sheriff's department to get my new license plate.  My neighbors from California call often.  One planted a small tree in her yard in memory of me!  I told her "I just moved, I am not dead!  😂  All in all, I am happy.   I am safe.

 My friend at the cemetery said he would continue to place flowers on my husband and son's graves as long as I wanted.  He emails me at least twice a month and has been a saint.  Enough about me......your putting on a new roof??  You sound like you are one VERY BUSY woman and I am glad that you are staying involved

 in life.  I am also glad that Nicole kept her place in Virginia.  She seems to be so happy and content there.  How she continues to maintain this site boggles my mind, but she is the "glue" that holds us all together.  Be well, continue to enjoy your life and be busy.  The people I have met on this site are "special to me" and I

want only the best for all of you.  ❤️

[MarcyW882921]

The roof was finally started today. I think they have finished working for now and I am relishing the quiet!

Marcy

[SummerIsTooHOT]

♻️  (1 comment)  👣👣👣  OUR JOURNEYS SO FAR!!!

WE are all at different "stages" of OUR HEALING JOURNEY.

[1] Some of us are making CHANGES that will help us to MOVE FORWARD.  👍👍👍

[2] Some of us are THINKING about things so as NOT to make any "hasty" changes that will ADD to our stress.  🙄🙄🙄

*** Everyone is invited to add THEIR journey to this discussion ***

Thanks,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

Me - Florida is on HOLD while my daughter who lives there figures out another job. She was in a Mass Surprise Same Day Layoff on 4/11/24. Lol, while I worry about her losing her home and car - I AM SO HAPPY to renew my lease for my Cute Studio Apartment in the hills here in Virginia. We will revisit my relocation AGAIN in the future!!!  👍👍👍

[Cadee2719]

I tried to reply to this yesterday and the message did not go through!  I know I have not been on site for quite a while, but do not understand why I cannot get through.

[SummerIsTooHOT]

♻️  (1 comment) WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO SOMEONE WHO IS GRIEVING?  🤔  Thanks, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

My Advice - not everyone is going to "understand" your journey, so find ways to connect with folks who do. Not everyone is going to make time for you. TREASURE THE ONES THAT DO AND THANK THEM!!!  👍

[Cadee2719]

 I think it is important to take care of the necessities.  You have to make the changes with your social security, getting credit in your name (if you did not have it), changing the names on Trusts, Wills, bank accounts, etc.  This is often not as easy as you think.  You need to take care of yourself, begin or continue your doctor's appointments, find time to rest, relax, and do the  things that make you happy.  Share with a support group your fears, needs and questions.  Make NO MAJOR DECISIONS at this time.  IGNORE criticisms and unsupportive people.  TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME.  Everyone is different; each of us heal in our own way and time.  Do not apologize for your sadness.  It takes time, it takes strength; it takes fortitude to heal and you will discover that you have all of these virtues.  Be kind to yourself. 

[SummerIsTooHOT]

♻️  (1 comment)  👣  One Step At A Time!!!

[1] Take That Step To FEEL BETTER.

[2] YES YOU CAN DO IT!!!

[3]  📚  BOOK TITLE: ONE STEP AT A TIME!

Josh Bleill tells people he had “one bad day” while on combat patrol in Fallujah, Iraq, on October 15, 2006.  That day, an IED struck his Humvee, tearing through the vehicle and killing two of his fellow marines while severely injuring Bleill and his best friend.  He awoke five days later with to learn of the catastrophic loss of his two friends and both of his legs. Recovering physically presented a great challenge, but the mental recovery was the toughest battle. For three and a half months he never left the hospital because he didn't want people to see his injured body. In One Step at a Time, Bleill shares the story of his own personal redemption and the many life-changing moments he encountered, from his enlistment to active duty in Fallujah, through two years of intensive rehabilitation, and ultimately to his job as the community spokesman for the Indianapolis Colts. Readers will be inspired by his undying enthusiasm, infectious joy, and sense of humor as he shares his message of going forward, one step at a time.

[mc6844]

Thank you for sharing this Nicole. Combat veterans have gone through so much. Rarely do they feel sorry for themselves. 

[SummerIsTooHOT]

♻️  [1 comment] WHAT HAS HELPED YOU THE MOST WITH YOUR HEALING JOURNEY?  🤔

Me - my daughter. Knowing she NEEDS me, the only parent she has left. I still have my monents, but I make an effort for her. Nicole  ‌‌🤗🤗🤗‌‌