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[Anonymous]

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WE cry, rejoice, talk, share!

Whatever YOU need, WE are here for YOU.

***YOU are a very SPECIAL person and WE want to hear from YOU***

Grief & Loss Team 🤗

[SummerIsTooHOT]

Stop by to join OUR DISCUSSIONS and/or start one of your own.

Grief & Loss Team  ‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌

[mc6844]

I hope you are all well on the forum. I wasn't able to login. But I tried again today and it was ok. 

[SummerIsTooHOT]

MC @mc6844 , in my very humble opinion - some of us will grieve to the day we die.

But as time passes, we are able to MOVE FORWARD in whatever capacity we can.

Some years, I hardly think of my Mamamae (grandma), then other years it seems I am crying - dreaming and missing her BIG TIME.

Awesome discussion!!!

Luv you VERY MUCH,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** MC wrote: I wonder if people think that they will always grieve? I heard this recently. I think it could be true. ***]

[mc6844]

I wonder if people think that they will always grieve? I heard this recently. I think it could be true. 

[SummerIsTooHOT]

MC's @mc6844 DISCUSSION  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** MC wrote: I wonder if people think that they will always grieve? I heard this recently. I think it could be true. ***]

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[Cadee2719]

  Mc I agree.  I try to keep busy but often there is a "word", an "interaction", " something I see" and I am in tears.    I guess when you have loved someone for 62 years (husband;  53 years (son) you do not forget them.  They were an important part of my daily life and the memories do not fade.  I have been occupied with the move and that has helped.  However, there are times when I am alone and I think of them and it still hurts as much as the day I lost them.  FAMILY has always been my priority and losing two of the most important members of my family is a loss that I don't think I will ever be able to accept.

[mc6844]

Cadee, I understand. They must be so proud of you making an amazing move to a better location. It's so great you're content there. Take care!

[SummerIsTooHOT]

Yes Cadee @Cadee2719 , the nights are the challenge for me at times = some nights I sleep well, others I am up all night crying.

I guess we have to take it 1 step at a time and TREASURE those memories.

Luv you VERY MUCH,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** CADEE wrote: Mc I agree.  I try to keep busy but often there is a "word", an "interaction", " something I see" and I am in tears.    I guess when you have loved someone for 62 years (husband;  53 years (son) you do not forget them.  They were an important part of my daily life and the memories do not fade.  I have been occupied with the move and that has helped.  However, there are times when I am alone and I think of them and it still hurts as much as the day I lost them.  FAMILY has always been my priority and losing two of the most important members of my family is a loss that I don't think I will ever be able to accept. ***]

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[mc6844]

Ty

[SummerIsTooHOT]

♻️ (1 comment) IT IS A SUBJECT I AND MY DAUGHTER USE TO AVOID UNTIL SHE LOST HER FATHER. NOW SHE UNDERSTANDS WHY I HAD TOLD HER WHERE EVERYTHING IS FOR WHEN I PASS. WHAT DO YOU HAVE SET UP SO FAR FOR YOURSELF?  🤔 ANY TIPS TO SHARE?  🤔

Me - I set up an area on my bookshelf for ALL legal documents. I am working on the cremation end of things.  MY TIP: Try NOT to dwell on your passing as we ALL will one day. Just TRY to remember the ones we leave behind will be GRIEVING. Anything we can do while still ALIVE to make things easier shows we LUV them!!!  👍👍👍

[MarcyW882921]

I have a portable plastic box set up with all of my important documents. I prepared it to be something I can easily grab and run with during hurricane season and also for utilization at the end of my life by my family designees.

Marcy

[SummerIsTooHOT]

♻️  (2 comments) REMEMBER THE SAYING AND PRAYER ABOUT STUFF AND PEOPLE WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER? HOW ARE YOU DEALING WITH THESE SITUATIONS RIGHT NOW? THANKS, NICOLE  🤗🤗🤗

Me - my right now have NO CONTROL OVER are my Neighbors From H.ll Above Me. I won't lie and say I like them. I don't!!!  😱😱😱  It has been H.LL with all 3 sets of neighbors above me since moving in 2018. Luv my Cute Studio Apt in the Virginia hills but NO MORE neighbors next to me when I move. Until then, MY MUSIC keeps me SANE.

[mc6844]

Thank you Nicole for all the good topics. I hope your neighbors grow quieter and easier to live with. I've heard that we can't change things but prayer changes things. I know waiting for things to change is not easy. Take care!

[Therapist4u]

REMEMBER THE SAYING AND PRAYER ABOUT STUFF AND PEOPLE WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER?

God, grant me the....

God, grant me the PURRrenity

😄

[SummerIsTooHOT]

👂  1 comment  (♻️)  Remember, listening to someone costs zero and you have made that person feel wanted and cared for.

YES, we all receive the stuff that cost money (money, giftcards, flowers, condolence cards/notes) BUT I know how much being listened to has WARMED my insides!!!

So think of someone TODAY who may be NEEDING your ear...

Thanks,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[mc6844]

This is good to remember Nicole. We do get busy and temporarily forget that everyone has their sufferings. 

[SummerIsTooHOT]

♻️  (1 comment) HOW ARE YOU MEETING NEW PEOPLE?  🤔

Me - Ironically I read this in my Google News. It is exactly what I am doing (reaching out to random strangers), subject to change of course. Thanks, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[1] Visit a park at the same time each day. Note the other people around. If comfortable, strike up a conversation with folks who appear approachable.

[2] If you enjoy an article, newsletter or book, let the author know.

[3] Say hello to someone you come across in your neighborhood, at the store or library. Ask them about their day.

https://www.signalsaz.com/articles/how-to-deal-with-loneliness-in-retirement/

[MarcyW882921]

Get on a mailing list at a religious institution that is active. These types of institutions have many opportunities for volunteering, learning, socializing, and becoming part of a community.

Marcy

[SummerIsTooHOT]

♻️  (1 comment) HOW ARE YOU HANDLING THE HOLIDAYS AND DAYS LIKE MOTHER'S AND FATHER'S DAYS - BIRTHDAYS - ANNIVERSARIES AND SO ON?  🤔

Me, I have never been a Group Person and as soon as I turned 18, started to "skip" the gatherings. I luv the one-on-one interactions. As far as Father's Day, he was never the father my daughter deserved [drug and crime issues], so she never did the day. Every day is Mother's Day for me = she makes sure I am okay every day. She is the opposite of me and while she avoids family  🙄,  she has had Extended Family & Friends all her life. So she spends the holidays with them.  👍

Thanks,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[mc6844]

I wanted to stop by today. All on the forum are in my thoughts and prayers. Please take care and take it easy. One day goes into the next, and each day takes care of itself! 💓 

[SummerIsTooHOT]

♻️  (2 comments) In my opinion, Living In The Moment helps to keep us SANE - HOPEFUL & PEACEFUL!!! What are YOUR THOUGHTS on this?  Thanks, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

Me - it is taking my all to NOT get angry and mourne the "possible" loss of a dear friend. One I didnot go looking for and who has RENEWED my HOPE of meeting HEALTHY HUMANS in my journey. I had told you guys about Dalinda, a Walmart Employee. Her cancer is back  😭😭😭  But you would NEVER know. I pry stuff out of her when she says she is okay. Then it is like the water has been released and she hugs me and tells me WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON. Lol, my Weekly Term = hmmm, now tell me what is really going on AFTER her 1st response to my Weekly How Are You Doing Question of I am OK. I am FINALLY learning that life brings us WHAT WE NEED and forever long it lasts, we NEED TO ENJOY IT. 👍

[mc6844]

Nicole, how lovely is your care for Dalinda, and her for you. It reminds me that everyone we meet has challenges and problems. I'm sure Dalinda is always happy to see you. I'm not sure everyone is always happy to see me  lol. Except I keep going. I'm glad you're getting out and about. And it's nice you girls have these meet-ups. Those moments are important.

[MarcyW882921]

Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT ,

You are in Dalinda's life at a time when she really needs someone. You are to be commended for being there, for recognizing her needs, and allowing her to be heard! Maybe she is in your life to show you there are good, caring, appreciative people and The importance of making the best of every moment we have in life.

Marcy

[SummerIsTooHOT]

♻️  (5 comments) Some of us are already VERY ACTIVE in our NEW lives, while others NEED to get back into the groove. Hmmm, which are YOU? And IF you feel up to it, tell us what has been going on in YOUR LIFE!!! Thanks, Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

Me - lol, lazy and lazy!!! But finally feeling an "interest" to dig up my Old Hobbies. Now to actually do this.  🙄🙄🙄

I do miss my walks in nature but as I AGE just cannot deal with the I OWN NATURE mentality of some youngsters. Gosh, I return MORE STRESSED than when I left. So I have to find someplace safe and not taken over by humans. Wish me luck!!!  👍

[Cadee2719]

  I made it back on the site!  Yeah   I have made the move.  Sold my house in California and have moved to my new home in Idaho.  Was it hard.....you bet.  Packing up a house I lived in for 46 years and moving to a new state at the age of 80 was not a simple task.    It was all worth it.  I feel safe, I am in a community of kind and helpful people, love my new home,  am able to go any where I want and not be afraid.  I did not know a place such as this existed. I am sad that my beautiful neighborhood in California became a haven for the homeless, crime and fear. It   was not an easy task but I did it and I do not regret it.  We each must do what is right for ourselves to live our lives as we choose.  It took me a year and a half to complete this process but I DID IT!

[mc6844]

Glad it all worked out Cadee. Amazing! 

[MarcyW882921]

I am so proud of you Cadee @Cadee2719 ! I can't imagine how hard this moving process has been for you on top of your grief. You made the hard decisions, did the work, and it sounds like the benefits are now paying off for you. Enjoy your new home in a warm and safe community! You certainly deserve it my friend.

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

 Thank You Marcy.  Thanks to the support from you, Nicole and others here, I survived.  My neighborhood is a smaller neighborhood within a larger one.  Everyone knows everyone.  They have block parties and everyone contributes and attends.  They look out for each other and their kids. It is a mixture of young and old. The Dads are out there playing with their kids and the mothers sit on blankets on the front yard and watch.  It reminds me of the small town in Pennsylvania where I grew up.  Yet, Meridian is a very active city; shops, good restaurants, and a lot of activities.  There are walking paths, bike paths and a lot of outdoor activities.   The wineries are close by and always have some entertainment taking place.  I am near Boise where there is even more to do.  Today I had to go and take my driver's test, 40 questions, you can miss 6.  ( I missed 1)   Monday, I need to go to the sheriff's department to get my new license plate.  My neighbors from California call often.  One planted a small tree in her yard in memory of me!  I told her "I just moved, I am not dead!  😂  All in all, I am happy.   I am safe.

 My friend at the cemetery said he would continue to place flowers on my husband and son's graves as long as I wanted.  He emails me at least twice a month and has been a saint.  Enough about me......your putting on a new roof??  You sound like you are one VERY BUSY woman and I am glad that you are staying involved

 in life.  I am also glad that Nicole kept her place in Virginia.  She seems to be so happy and content there.  How she continues to maintain this site boggles my mind, but she is the "glue" that holds us all together.  Be well, continue to enjoy your life and be busy.  The people I have met on this site are "special to me" and I

want only the best for all of you.  ❤️

[MarcyW882921]

The roof was finally started today. I think they have finished working for now and I am relishing the quiet!

Marcy