🥳💃 Tell Us About YOUR GOOD days! And YES, we will have a FEW SOME weeks.

📎  Good for you!!! And the shower is the ONLY place I will be singing Marcy @MarcyW882921 /lol  😂🤣

[*** MARCY @MarcyW882921 wrote:

My chorus received some great coaching over the weekend and we had another productive rehearsal last night. This is part of our preparation for an upcoming show and competition. Singing the music and unleashing the emotional expression is very therapeutic. If you have musical experience/talent and have been away from it for awhile, you may wish to revisit it in your new chapter of life. Even if you feel you don't have musical abilities, I've been told the shower is an incredible stage for musical performances!

 

Marcy ***]

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📎  3 1/2 HOURS Marcy @MarcyW882921 !!!  😱😱😱

Yes, get some rest and SO GLAD things are going well Ms. Chorus...  🙄🙄🙄

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[*** MARCY @MarcyW882921 wrote:

A great show yesterday for my chorus! I'm exhausted, but need to reach for the energy to do a three and a half hour rehearsal tonight.

 

Marcy ***]

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📎  HAPPY dance time!!!  💃💃💃

[1] Daughter checked in from Florida [I live in Virginia] without her OLD Ma [me  🙄]  having to "pester" her to call or text.  👍👍👍

Lol, I know I am on her LAST NERVE when I keep texting and calling when I DO NOT hear from her.  🤣😂

[2] My boy came by as usual at 6am ET this morning to eat and ask for his belly rubs. He will be back around 8pm ET. Has to make his rounds. WE ALL LUV HIM!!!  🐈🐱

[3] And TOMORROW [about 15 more hours], the Indian Neighbors From H.ll [live above my Studio Apt] RETURN to work and will be going AGAIN every day until Friday. Hold on, FORGOT about July 4th!!!  😭😭😭

Luv you ALL,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

For the past several months I’ve been having my ears bent on a regular basis by three F2F acquaintances. Two of them going through the grieving process due to the loss of loved one(s). Guided by a belief that I can be more helpful by listening than by commenting or advising.

Oddly enough they both got fed up with hearing me say, "I'm not trained or licensed to provide Mental Health Services so it's best if I just listen" at about the same time. And they both said pretty much the same thing, ' I'm not interested in Book Smarts, I'm interested in your experience,'. (single quotes because I am paraphrasing).

One of them made the comment after relating that she was having difficulty with old memories resurfacing with a strong emotional component. She asked me if I had experienced the same thing and, if so, what I had done. I shared that I relied mostly on three things: Writing them down. Prayer...not asking for them to be removed, but giving them over to a higher power. Meditation incorporating visualization. Then rereading the written account and tearing it up and throwing it (when it felt appropriate) into the Composter. The one caveat (possibly a mistake) I stated was that while mitigating unpleasant memories, I still had to suppress a chuckle or laugh at times that others considered inappropriate because of context when it was a humorous memory.

The other, a very stoic fellow, made the comment after saying he was tired of being told he was 'In Denial' and needed to 'Accept' that his wife had passed away so he could move on with the grieving process. I had a similar experience. "Denial" implies a conscious effort like Climate or Vaccine Deniers. To me it was more like Anticipation, Delayed Reaction or waiting for an inevitable storm. I got so tired of having my perception and feelings on the matter negated by people who thought they knew, or portrayed themselves as professionals who actually knew what they were talking about that they became liabilities to my process. I had to shed them, or at least curtail our interaction. ...Only time since I met him years ago that the guy has hugged me. And he said thanks.

Hopefully this post will give some encouragement to people who get a boost from being able to see a proverbial Light at the End of The Tunnel. (If not, don't look at the charts at the end)

A couple of things have occurred to me as I have been writing this. One is that our culture is trending, rapidly, toward the mistaken view that natural neurological processes like Grief and PTS are forms of mental illness that amount to weakness or vulnerability. We seem to be overlooking the exceedingly strong (and obvious) likelihood that people who do not experience these processes (or experience them so mildly that they are readily overlooked) may have a far more dangerous form of mental illness generally defined as Antisocial Personality Disorder that is passed off as ‘commitment’, ‘determination’ or ‘strength’. Generally speaking, this kind of oversight could have catastrophic consequences for the evolution of human culture, society, and in the end, humanity as a whole.

The other is that of the two dreams I described in an earlier post, the dragon dream may have indicated a transition to the Moving On (Acceptance) stage of the process. Still no clue what pulling a peacock tail feather out of my chin while shaving represented.

All the more reason to listen carefully more than talk when supporting somebody else.

📎  Marcy @MarcyW882921 , I AGREE!!! Luv, Nicole  ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌  (Grief Forum)

[*** @MarcyW882921 wrote: Nicole @SummerOnTheWay1 , I went to a webinar today and it brought me a renewed sense of comfort. The instructor talked about people writing ethical wills as a way to express how they would like to be honored. One concept of honoring a loved one is being true to the values they taught you when they were alive. I strive each day to honor my loved ones in this way and their legacy is sustained through me.

Marcy ***]

📎  You are welcome @MkK700720 !!!  ‌💛‌  YES, it is rough & hanging on to OUR PEACE helps.

Luv,

Nicole  ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌  (Grief Forum)

[*** @MkK700720 wrote:
Thank you Nicole. So kind. I did not have the good day yesterday. A difficult journey we're on. Finding and maintaining where our peace is helps a lot. ***]

📎  I hope you are well @MkK700720  💛

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[*** @MkK700720 wrote:
Nice to hear Nicole. I hope everyone is well. ***]

📎  A GOOD day/night could be as "simple" as being able to SPEND TIME WITH THE LUV ONES WHO ARE STILL WITH US.  ‌‌‌‌‌💛‌‌‌‌‌

Treasure this time as tomorrow is NOT promised to any of us.

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)

📎  Stop by when YOU FEEL up to it to SHARE and/or SUPPORT other grievers.  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌💛‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

TODAY may be the day/night someone READS your post = regains THEIR HOPE that they too will have GOOD days/nights in the midst of THEIR tears, anger & heartache.

*** All about MEMBERS HELPING MEMBERS!!!  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌👍‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

*** And guess what? WE WILL get more good days/nights IF we celebrate them.

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)