Is it possible to take comfort with a widower who may know what’s down the road?

i lost my wife on2/2/21. We knew each other as kids. She was in a nursing home the last 10 years of her life. We came close to 50 years of marriage. I miss her daily you cant help that and its normal and healthy. I quit crying a couple years ago. I didnt throw my self into books or talk to only other who lost someone. I did what she would want me to do i went on living and i talk to anyone who will listen. The ones not talking are dealing with their own kind of greif. My strength and i admit its not always strong comes from Gods word everything that has been written about this you will find answers in the word of God. When i get lonely or feeling down i pray and let god know how i feel. I also tell him he told us in his word he would comfort us in time of trouble and greif. Then i leave it to him to give me peace and answers. His peace is like no other peace you will find in a book or conversation. How do i know because ive have experienced it. You too can find that peace and hope by trusting him and telling him how you really feel.     

Hi, KM, I read your message and the various responses on this site, which I think offer good ideas and reassurance that grieving is difficult and there is no quick fix.  On the issue of men grieving, I have reassessed my view on this topic.  Having been in many grievance groups, I have found many different male grievers.  There really is no prescribed behavior, although we may feel that.  My first encounter after my husband died was with an insurance adjuster who just lost his mother and his family through divorce.  He was in pain (I began to become much more attuned to the pain of others).  We ended up talking about our separate losses.  He was kind and understanding and offered great insight that allowed me to sleep through the night for the first time since my husband died.  I was the primary caregiver for my husband.  The last final weeks were horrible for my husband and me.  The worst part was that he stopped talking and we never had a chance to actually say the words "good bye."  That weighed heavily on me and led to questions whether I should have done more and whether I somehow failed him.  These feelings are not unusual if you are a caregiver.  The insurance guy said " just think how you made his life easier in the last 2 years and probably extended his quality of life."  Wow, nobody ever said that to me.  It just goes to show there are very sensitive and caring people who somehow appear (are they guardian angels?) and help lighten your suffering.  The long and short of it is that men can be empathetic and caring.  Conversely women can be cruel and callous.  Everyone is different.  Keep an open mind and don't be afraid to trust your own instincts and others who genuinely care.  Hope this helps.  Sue