Husband dies alone

I’m having a very rough day!! Lots of tears.  Sadie went outside and took off into the pasture chasing an eagle.  I thought it was odd.  She was gone in the distance for a short time.  When she came back home there was a figure off in the distance where she had been.  When I went to get the binoculars and returned it was gone.  Was it Mark?  Did she get to see her daddy?  I’m crazy I know.  I could never share this with my family or friends.  I’ll never know what happened today!  That amazing dog is at peace with life.  I wish I could be like her❤️

Another sleepless night!  Yes a nap sounds like a great plan!  The young eagle returned yesterday afternoon.  I got a photo of it on a post.  Wow!  It’s welcome to stay permanently❤️

Sadie loves spa days too!  She has her special brushes and combs!  A little spoiled I know🙄.   You wouldn’t believe the stuff she drags in stuck to her fur from outside!   I need to comb out!! 

One more day until I start cooking for Thanksgiving.  Spice cake, butternut squash soup and sweet potatoes.  Sweet potatoes were one of Mark’s favorite.  Other recipes are new this year.  I couldn’t cook more of his favorite.  

Have a Happy Tuesday!  

The eagle has been back watching over us!  Sadie doesn’t appear to frighten it!  They just coexist.  In my heart I feel it’s my dear sweet Mark boldly protecting us.  In my logical mind possibly a two year old bald eagle finding his new territory.  I’m trusting my heart.  

Sooo I can’t sleep tonight.  I’m finished making all the food for today.  Our plans are to leave at 9:00 this morning.  Busy roads I’m sure!  

It’s a bittersweet day.  Being with family and remembering last year.  It was my last Thanksgiving with Mark.  Not only was I packing up food for Thanksgiving but clothes to go to Minnesota.  I was leaving the day after.  I was going away from him when he so desperately needed me.  I think Thanksgiving is not really a day I’m thankful for.  I will always wonder if things would

have turned out differently if I would have been home with him.   
 
Sadie and I are blessed we have family today.  I’m thankful for that.  Happy Thanksgiving! 

At my son’s house and can’t sleep.  Sadie hurt her paw yesterday and I couldn’t get her into a Veterinary Clinic.  I’m calling at 8:00 am this morning hoping to get her in.  Seeing her injured is killing me.  The light in her eyes are dimmed.  

I’m glad Thanksgiving is over.  I can hear my husband saying “Everyone makes too much food!!”  And it is soo true!  We shouldn’t complain.  We should be grateful.  It was a sad day.  I found myself alone while in a house full of people.  No Mark!  

Our plan is to go home today.  Hopefully with a happy Sadie😍

We are finally home and Sadie is doing so much better.  She just sprained a toe while rough playing with the other two dogs at Thanksgiving on Thursday.  She is still limping and is keeping herself quieter than normal.  Knowing her she won’t be down very long!  

So glad to be home!  Four days until the day I lost Mark.  I’m hoping no tears for me!  I have ladies coming to my house for a cookie exchange.  I’m making several of Mark’s favorite cookies to share.  He loved my cookies.❤️   I miss cooking for him.  It's been a year and I have never cooked a meal for myself unless I’ve had guests.  For him I cooked everyday.  How our lives change in an instant.  How one person can change everything! 

I hope Mister will stay warm tonight.  Some kit cats prefer to be outside at night!  It’s just their time to be awake moving around.  
Sadie has spent the last hour howling out the window at a coyote.  She really gets worked up over them.  She knows they are bad and lets everyone know when they are close!  Her paw is better with rest and dog Turmeric chews.  
The cookie exchange is on December 4.  Mark’s anniversary.  I’m baking/making three of his favorites to share.  I’m staying busy with preparing the house and baking.  My mind can’t get distracted into the deep sadness of his death and the holidays.  It’s too much for me.  
Tomorrow is a new day with plenty to do.  I wasn’t going to put my tree up.  But my grandson told me he wanted to help me.  So I guess I’m doing it for him. 
Have a restful night!  Julie 

Yes!  I did get my massage!  It was much needed and appreciated!