Husband dies alone

Good morning, 

Preparing for Mark’s birthday.  I’m taking family out for Mexican dinner on November 4th.  Only one son is coming.  My sons are still not talking to each other since their father’s death.  Should be a large crowd of grandchildren and a couple great grandchildren.  Mark and I always went to Mexican restaurants for his birthday.  He had a taco and burrito combo every time.  He would be 66 years old this year.  Why is my 66 year old husband not eating Mexican with me this year?  I’m still angry at the doctors that wouldn’t help him!  I’m angry at Mark that he left Sadie and me.  But I’ll get through this day like I do so many other days.  I’m so lonely for him it hurts.  

Today is Halloween 🎃 I’m going with my grandson and my great grandson baby trunk or treating.  I’m planning on happiness with smiles tonight!

Good Morning!  Sorry I haven’t checked in.  I have had company twice since I last checked in.  I don’t know about other widows but it’s one month less than a year since I lost Mark.  I think friends and family feel I need to be kept busy and not alone.  I’m sure they will get tired of me eventually.   I’m home alone now.  I’m deciding what I should do to keep me busy.  I really do have plenty to do!  

I wish you could be with your daughter on Thanksgiving!  I’m sure I will have a full holiday!  But will not be the same without Mark.  

❤️Julie 

Good Morning!!  Lazy morning at our house.  I have to go to the local church and help sort donation clothes today for the local people in need.  Someday Mark’s clothes will help many people.  But today they will stay with me.  I still need them close to me❤️. 
Hope you have a nice Saturday!

❤️❤️Julie 

Yes and more snow coming!  I moved my grandson and his family into a new manufactured home onto my property this summer.  My grandson is going to keep my long driveway plowed for me.  So blessed to have them.  I couldn’t live here without them. 
Today I’m helping with a community harvest potluck at the church.  I made a spice cake and old fashioned Mac and cheese.  I’m on the decorating committee too.  Today will be full.  
Mark loved winter and snow!  Me not so much!  Cold and hard to drive in.  He always took such wonderful care of me❤️

Sadie had me up early at 3:30 this morning!!  She loves playing in the snow!  I’m sure a nap is in the plans today.  Lots of snow and low fog today so I’m staying close to home.  I have several things planned next week, book club and Mah Jongg but probably won’t go if the snow continues to fall!  Not so busy!    Mark has been visiting a lot lately!  Several of my lights have flickered.  His one year anniversary since I lost him is only two weeks away.  Heavy on my heart. 💜 

I hope you have a wonderful Sunday.  Warm and sunny would be nice! 

Dixie,

I’m so sorry for your loss. Hopefully time will make it less painful.  I’m hoping anyway.  I feel my husband in many ways.  He will flicker a light or brush a warm breeze over me.  I’m trying to be more aware of his presence. I miss him sooo much.  

Good Morning!  I’ve been awake since 3:00 am.  Sadie is still sleeping beside me.  I’m on the west coast so it’s only 4:00 here.  There is a snow storm outside!  Another day to hunker down!   Do you get your car today?  
Julie❤️

No fireplace at my house!  Just electric!  My grandson has a fireplace if we loose electricity I can go there to keep warm.  We got another 6 inches last night!  This is somewhat early for central Washington.  Long winter ahead of us!  

It continues to snow and more predicted to come.  I found myself sitting hour upon hour in Mark’s chair doing absolutely nothing.  I finally pushed myself to start Christmas cards.

I always include a photo with a short family letter.  That was a tough letter to write and a sad photo to look at without my dear Mark.  I always send my cards out after Thanksgiving.  The cards people received last year Mark was still alive.  Not this year.
 I did venture out to exercise a mile up the road twice this week!  Mark would be so proud of me driving that far❤️

Hoping you and Mister have a great Saturday!  

I’m going to my son and daughter-in-laws home for thanksgiving.  My grandson will drive Sadie and me.  I plan to spend one night at each son’s home.  I even have a massage scheduled for the day after!  
Last Thanksgiving is so vivid in my mind with Mark being with me. Putting up the tree with him the day after Thanksgiving.  Then going out of town to never see him again.  I’m holding my breath trying to get through the next month.  I’m going to be busy.  I should be ok.