Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

👍 Encouragement!!!

Forum|Forum|2 years ago
January 17, 2024
92 replies
83267 views

Stop by when you can to encourage others [respond to THEIR POST 💛] or ASK FOR SOME.

WE ALL have days/nights when we need this!!!

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

aarp grief & loss forum

Show previous replies

SummerOnTheWay1Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

📎 Angel @coolslick , I AM SO GLAD you have a Social Worker and looking into some addtional help!!! 💃💃💃

Luv you VERY MUCH,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗

[*** ANGEL @coolslick wrote:
🤗You're not kidding it's like talking to your twin...God bless..I feel like sisters..Got it about the pen pal thing , there is no movement on it..having been on a pen pal site before , I was talking to a woman who I thought was a man..nice conversations..never out of line but a scammer all the same...Oh Lord! I don't need drama kings and queens...no one has contacted me and I am just fine with it being you and I..I am exactly the same..I had 3 daughters...lost my middle one 27 years ago at 21..so I have 2 daughters I talk to and would like to not bring my grief to them..they hurt too..I have wonderful conversations with everyone in Walmart. And Now thank God I have you...I am looking into a grief group that has 2 meetings a week, I talked to the Social worker this morning for about an hour...she said I have what's called Stacked Grief..Oh Boy!! do I get that "Old Lady Nap" and love every minute of it...will catch up tomorrow...enjoy the rest of your day...✌️xo ***]

C

coolslick

Contributor ⭐⭐

Thank you..I am in a very bad frame of mind right now..I need to eat , I am a diabetic , and go out..and I cannot pull myself together...I saw something that went into my heart concerning my ex husband and children's father whom I loved and he loved me back for 55 years..we lost a daugher and the day he passed I lost my last part of her...everytime I see something that reminds me of our 4 year dating years it tears my heart to pieces...it's been almost a year and I cannot get through it...I did remarry but we never lost contact...after my second husband [assed 13 years ago , we rebuilt our relationship, friendship, never moved back in together but the bond and closeness was there...I took care of him the best he would allow me at the end of his life...he was a very I'll Nam vet...

God is never late!

SummerOnTheWay1Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

📎 Hi Angel @coolslick , we are alot ALIKE - your PM to me was like my TWIN was talking.

Try to be YOUR BEST self, cry when needed and on those days you MISS your loved ones - miss them. With time as WE ALLOW ourselves to BE US, our days and nights will GET BETTER I PROMISE.

This AARP Grief & Loss Forum is my DAILY place to come to. Yes, not everyone has been on my Like List, but with time they have made their exit ALLOWING me to ENJOY the folks who CARE.

I am here EVERY DAY Angel.

Luv you SO MUCH,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗

[*** ANGEL @coolslick wrote:
Thank you..I am in a very bad frame of mind right now..I need to eat , I am a diabetic , and go out..and I cannot pull myself together...I saw something that went into my heart concerning my ex husband and children's father whom I loved and he loved me back for 55 years..we lost a daugher and the day he passed I lost my last part of her...everytime I see something that reminds me of our 4 year dating years it tears my heart to pieces...it's been almost a year and I cannot get through it...I did remarry but we never lost contact...after my second husband [assed 13 years ago , we rebuilt our relationship, friendship, never moved back in together but the bond and closeness was there...I took care of him the best he would allow me at the end of his life...he was a very I'll Nam vet... ***]

SummerOnTheWay1Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

.

mc6844

Community Champion ⭐⭐

Thank you for posting your gifs Nicole! They are all so cute and cheering. For those of us no longer up to caring for pets and miss them. I try to drop in at the forum and offer encouragement when I can. I appreciate all the help and support. I keep going at a daily pace. Glad I got some household stuff done before these hot days. It's mostly me and my rechargable fan lol. I'm grateful I can do what I can. At 74 got to be extra careful. Had two recent falls. Both times I was upset about things. Good news is that I could get up lol. 74 is no spring chicken. Detaching from certain things is paramount these days. But that's the way it goes. We get old and have to adjust.

I'm sorry for everyone's losses and struggles on the forum. It's a good place to stop in and give and seek support. A focused forum on loss and grief. I've found our loved ones are nearer than we think. It takes time from the initial stages of grief to realize these things. So like Nicole's gif says Don't Give Up!

SummerOnTheWay1Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

📎 Yes MC @mc6844 , those falls as we AGE are not something we want and GLAD you are okay. Gosh, IF I fell - no one here in Virginia would CARE or even look out IF I called an ambulance. Scary!!! So I TRY to keep things tidy so as NOT to trip. Had a few close calls = moved stuff out of the way. I also NOW use a flashlight for those nights I get up to find the light switch. Never failed, I would "trip" on something in the dark. 😱😱😱

SO GOOD HEARING FROM YOU = made my day VERY SPECIAL!!! 💃💃💃

Luv you VERY MUCH,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗

[*** MC @mc6844 wrote:
Thank you for posting your gifs Nicole! They are all so cute and cheering. For those of us no longer up to caring for pets and miss them. I try to drop in at the forum and offer encouragement when I can. I appreciate all the help and support. I keep going at a daily pace. Glad I got some household stuff done before these hot days. It's mostly me and my rechargable fan lol. I'm grateful I can do what I can. At 74 got to be extra careful. Had two recent falls. Both times I was upset about things. Good news is that I could get up lol. 74 is no spring chicken. Detaching from certain things is paramount these days. But that's the way it goes. We get old and have to adjust.

I'm sorry for everyone's losses and struggles on the forum. It's a good place to stop in and give and seek support. A focused forum on loss and grief. I've found our loved ones are nearer than we think. It takes time from the initial stages of grief to realize these things. So like Nicole's gif says Don't Give Up! ***]

SummerOnTheWay1Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

‌📎 Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain.

Nicole ‌🤗‌‌🤗‌‌🤗‌

mc6844

Community Champion ⭐⭐

Memorial Day to me is sad in itself. So many losses for many people and families. Since my recent loss almost a year and a half ago now, I'm thinking today much of those months have passed in a blur. Some things I've done well with, other things not. At my age I know so many widows with worries. And people going through transitions. Nothing stays the same for long now. A friend told me she keeps a journal. I guess I look on the grief forum as my journal. And grateful for this place and people here. It is helpful to read through the posts on those tough days. And leave the grief and sadness, until it pops up again. I believe there's also delayed grief. When our lives were very busy and we didn't have time to go through the process. These days I'm tired of feeling like a piece of Swiss cheese! Lol

WebWiseWoman

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

Hi, Nicole! Another great post!

Just a note, we (my adult daughters and I) volunteer at Veterans' Cemeteries, which involves zero stress; just helping maintain (e.g., polishing markers, picking up debris), serving as host, guide, information provider, or just placing American flags for commemorative holidays (Memorial Day, D-Day, Veterans' Day...). Strictly on an as available basis, so no set schedule unless one would prefer that.

From the National Park Service site:

"The VA manages 128 National Cemeteries in 39 States and in Puerto Rico. Volunteers are needed here to help maintain the cemeteries and the 2.9 million gravesites. For information on volunteering at National Cemeteries, visit the National Cemetery Administration's Volunteer website or contact a National Cemetery near you."

If there is one near you, this might be an option.

hth

denese

SummerOnTheWay1Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

📎@WebWiseWoman , thank you for info.

@Therapist4u , your humor is ALWAYS welcome here.

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗

Therapist4u

Community Champion ⭐

Nicole

Thanks 😊

SummerOnTheWay1Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

📎 Thank you SO MUCH for asking MC @mc6844 !!!

It is 8pm for me and SO GLAD this holiday will soon be OVER. 💃💃💃

Luv you VERY MUCH,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗

[*** MC @mc6844 wrote:
Thank you Nicole. How are you doing? ***]

mc6844

Community Champion ⭐⭐

I agree Nicole. The holidays aren't easy. Too many memories. Now so much has changed. Right now I'm thinking a holiday from grieving could be a good idea.

SummerOnTheWay1Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

📎 Ms. Idaho aka Cadee @Cadee2719 🤗🤗🤗

Dear Sweet, Strong and Luvable Friend, I know right now it seems like all h.ll has broken loose.

Yes, you FINALLY get all set up [well, kind of] in IDAHO and your body is TESTING you right now.

Here are my 2 cents 🙄 on all this:

[1] This too shall pass as long as you NEVER give up. Remember the AWFUL life you finally left behind in CALIFORNIA!!! You stuck to your goal and NEVER gave up. 💃💃💃

[2] Talk to folks you have met to see IF there are any MEDICARE ADVOCATES near you. Sorry it is SO COMPLICATED changing states with MEDICARE. 😤😤😤

I am DREADING my return to FLORIDA FROM VIRGINIA. 😭😭😭

Luv you, PROUD OF YOU my friend,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗

C

Cadee2719

Community Champion ⭐

Thank You Nicole I am so confused as to why simply finding doctors is so complicated and is taking so long. Is there a shortage of doctors in America? I find that most family practice is run by an RN, ACRNP ?, MSN, Physician Assistant or Nurse Practitioner. Believe it or not one clinic said the only person they had available to see patients was a young lady currently in college taking classes to become a nurse!!!!! Is this what "Healthcare" in America has become? This certainly is an issue AARP should delve into. I will remain diligent and continue to jump through the "hoops" required to simply get an appointment to see a doctor. I agree with you, I am fortunate to be here; a beautiful place, friendly, kind people and most importantly: safe.

SummerOnTheWay1Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

📎 [1] Dear Diane, one area that really upsets me are how our vets are treated and their family. I had one here, John who died in the VA Hospital last year. He went in and never returned home after falling. I miss my friend. YOU FIGHT to get those medical bills paid. Your husband served his country while he was alive!!!

[2] Dear Cadee, my sweet and inspiring friend. Here you are grieving the loss of your husband, brother and son and the medical system has the nerve to add more unnecessary stress to your life. YOU FIGHT to get what you need to function. Growing old is no fun when you are in pain all the time.

[3] Dear Marcy, gosh girl - those migraines need to pack up and leave. I am hoping you have been able to get some relief. Your husband and your guardian angel are reminding you to hang in there. Yes, those signs you posted about. He is not here in the physical sense but he will always be inside of you until you see him again.

Luv you ALL,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗

@DianeB887812 @Cadee2719 @MarcyW882921 @jonibee

D

DianeB887812

Contributor ⭐⭐

I need to set the record straight. The VA has paid Every bill. It was wonderful that we could use hospitals and doctors close to home for 90% of his care. Working to get Those bills paid is more of an annoyance as the providers each have to be trained on how to work with the VA to get paid. It’s not like the regular insurance companies and it confuses them. But I repeat the VA has covered everything Stephen ever needed from day one. They are a God Sent Blessing. It’s just been a little hard on me mentally as I’m not as sharp as I need to be to keep all of it straight but it is getting close to done. I just do not want to criticize the VA. They are doing their part wonderfully.

SummerOnTheWay1Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

📎 Dear Jonibee, losing your husband after being his caregiver has been a challenge for you dear friend. My thoughts are with you for your upcoming surgery in September.

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗

@jonibee

mc6844

Community Champion ⭐⭐

I agree , Jonibee. I remember your posts. You've worked your way through a lot. I hope things continue to be well with you.

SummerOnTheWay1Author

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

📎 Dear Diane, my insides HURT for you as YOU deal with Stephen's family DRAMA.

As much as I wish I could be around FAMILY besides my daughter, at age 66 I am TRYING to hang in there for HER as her only parent.

So my dear sweet and strong friend FOCUS on ALL those PLANS you have now after laying the luv of your life to rest.

It is so SAD when some FAMILY are greedy and selfish. Lol, that is the MAIN REASON I have NOT returned to Florida as yet. Yes, his and mine TOXIC family except for my precious daughter. DREADING when I do. 😭😭😭

Hey, that FURBABY 🐕 is WAITING on you!!!

Mr. 🐈 sends his LUV and I do TOO.

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗

@DianeB887812

D

DianeB887812

Contributor ⭐⭐

Nicole,

I have been dealing with toxic family all my life. It’s why I have an aversion to conflict. But it has made me strong in other ways. I will get through this challenge. Stephen is by my side. And now I have an understanding shoulder to help me weather this , my dear Nicole.

As to the fur baby , it could be a cat. We will see.

Show more replies

Sign up

Login with SSO

Login to the community

Login with SSO