Contributor ⭐

Ladies 70 and older - share your tips for dating sites

Forum|Forum|9 years ago
February 11, 2017
74 replies
77679 views

So many women and so few men - how to attract and find a guy I'd be interested in? New to dating sites and wondering best way to navigate them. Snowflake

dw17543009

Contributor ⭐

Hello Snowflake:

I too am new to this portion of AARP. I'm 65 and still seek to have a serious relationship. I'm finishing up college in May so I can concentrate on finding a parttime job and having a companion. Been single for 17 years now, and while I have finishing class on my agenda now....it gets lonely at times. I don't have a clue as to how to meet someone nice here. It's so scary in a way. So I hope we get lucky.

Peace and Blessings

joefriday14

Contributor ⭐⭐

Kaye6262

Keep active and positive. Do good things. Organize a block party or a party for a new neighbor or for the dogs in the neighborhood.

Richva

Contributor ⭐

OK, I am not single, I am not a woman. I do, however, have some insight. I once read an article about how to determine your (female) odds of getting married and the number one question they asked was: "How many new men do you meet a month?" I cannot tell you how many women I know who only meet the new pizza delivery guy. Is that who you want to have a relationship with?

I would also tell you there are aggressive women your age who move like lightning whenever an elegible bachelor appears. Even if that is caused by death. Point of story, don't play shy. Get in there like a roller derby star.

Darle

Contributor ⭐

Smile. . . at my age I don't look for "Flash Gordons" or "Speedy Gonzalezes." Women who move fast may often have even quicker endings.

Intelligent matured women who have had long term relationships are not just looking for a male counterpart. We look for "men" who also realize that any thing gained too quickly is often lost just as soon.

I rather have a man with a slow hand and an easy touch about how he lives and embraces life after had already experienced for himself the pitfalls of the fast lane.

N

noblefool

Contributor ⭐

Hey there, I was just running by and saw you have some questions.

I am mid 50 something and I just want to share my opinion even if my thoughts may same silly.

I have a few "men" friends that are 70+ old and are single. They tell me they will stay single the rest of their days and each one has their reasons as to why. So there are still plenty of men out there in the world that are single and above 70 years old.

Just to give you an idea of what is going on out here in some cases..................the biggest concern most men that are older and wiser then I, tell me that it's just too late to start over and being alone is not so bad. Some of these men are widowed and choose to remain in Love with their wife even after their spouses passing, which I find admirable. Some men have been divorced and tried numerous relationships overtime and got tired of being disappointed in having continued failed relationships, regardless of the relationship failure root cause. So while there are some older men on dating sites, their are many men that will never be on them.

There are many avenues to finding that special someone for you. I guess it depends on what a person is looking for and what type of relationship they want or need. One can use dating sites, which do work for some people, and for some people it does not work out so good. I caution a person "on the fast track" quest for someone, and to always remember:

"You reap what you sow"

I know it can be lonely at times and we often sacrifice our inner desires to be with anybody to just not be alone. The real question is as to what a person wants or needs from another person.

I think the best thing for a person to do is to keep their eyes open without looking for something or someone specific. Keep your eyes open and attached to your heart and see if someone is willing to look back inside of you. Be honest and upfront concerning what you want, need, and what your expectations are in a relationship.

I think the key is to be honest upfront about yourself on dating sites to hopefully help attract a person that interests you and has the same wants and needs as you.

My very best to you and may you find what you are looking for.

D

dandee76

Contributor ⭐⭐

Oh for goodness sakes. Why don't the older men realize that we older women do NOT want to get married again! We just like to have a partner to dance with and go to the movies with or to some social events. Do not suffer from seriousness - we are not kids any longer or still in high school. Most of us have been around the block several times. AND - we don't need their money either. I have enough money to support me for the rest of my life. We just like to still have fun! I am 86 years old and I still love to dance - I belong to two country line dancing groups and two bowling teams. I also run a self-help mental help program and have done this for the past 38 years. As long as you have your health - you should keep active. I also work out at the gym 3 days a week - eat healthy and take vitamins. We should try to make our later years fun as long as we still have good health!

P

PattiA669767

Contributor ⭐

RIGHT ON!! I no longer want my time wasted on nursing and rehearsing old wounds!! Unfortunately men in their 70s may have just lost a spouse..and havent "ventured out" into the REAL WORLD of singleness or have not figured out that we have our own ideas and our own lifestyle and interests and while exchanging "old war stories" may be a "comfortable way" to ease into the new relationship.. but trying to stay in YOUR comfort zone so YOU dont have to learn new things.. think about it.. We don't just want to provide your entertainment and company.. for that you can get a dog.. we want someone who is ready to go and do and dance and laugh and bring new ideas to the fold..

I dont need a "dad".. i'm not looking for a "husband" to cook and clean for.. and please set up some healthy boundaries with your kids.. they may not give you the time of day until they get wind of a "new person" in your life.. then be aware they fear being cut out of your precious belongings that I don want in the first place.. thank you for my "vent" been there done that.. and still a believer ready willing and able for a Mature relationship..

Darle

Contributor ⭐

@noblefool Hi there, (I am 60+) I am sure Ladies 70 and older have a good sense of judgment. I often consider that time takes a person to another level of thinking, feeling and doing. There is just not too much that you have to put up with when you get to be a certain age. And you sure realize that it is not worth it and you just don't have to. When you honestly consider your life at this age you really don't want any "drama." The only kind of "stuff going on" that one may allow in her life once she has become seasoned by time is "joy" and "peace." Anything else is for the younger ones. They are still exploring. At 70+ you may still be learning but you are certainly beyond trying to figure out the things that the young ponder. You got it! You lived it! You know it! And although there is yet still much to grow, expand, refresh and renew and to know in your life, you approach it with wisdom that only comes with time spent living on this planet.

And to all the wonderful ladies 70 and older all the best to you and may you influence and inspire women younger than yourselves to seek authentic, honest and sincere dating counterparts. I believe that your age carries the wisdom gained through your experiences. You carry with you secrets to living that the young only "think" they know. Continue to have zero tolerance for any relationship that does not honor and cherish the rich heritage you gained through time. Some things only come with time. The young need to hear from you and learn so that they will escape some of the erroneous nonsense that is out there in mainstream dating "nowadays."

N

NonaClaire

Contributor ⭐

I am 73 and have been single and dating for more than 15 years. I have had several longish-term relationships, 2+ years, and made a number of friends. My best advice to women, people, our age is is the same advice I give to younger folk who ask. Look for someone who likes about you the things you like about yourself. If you're smart and funny and proud of those things, don't waste time on someone who wants a non-challenging companion who laughs at his jokes, but doesn't make them herself. If you're athletic and love being that way, avoid couch potatoes. And if your political and/or religious leanings are meaningful to you, make that abundantly clear. Many men either don't read your profile statement or, apparently, think they can change your mind. At this point in my life, I know what I believe and what is important. If they don't respect your positions, just hit 'delete' and move on.You get the picture. It can be a great adventure. Good Luck. Nona

Nona Martin Stuck

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PattiA669767

Contributor ⭐

I truly welcome these conversations.. Dating, I have found, has become more difficult.. I've always been considered 10 years younger than my age.. so fortunately get attention from men, I prefer older adults who are enjoying the Journey.. looking forward.. ready willing and able to make NEW memories!!..I'm in my 70s..and am realistic about the challenges we all face..reality of aging comes with a life well lived.. wisdom, boundaries.. I have met men that are in my age bracket.. I met them all at a local rec. center where we each work out.. (good sign).... Each one has recently lost their wives due to illness..each one is to be commended for providing such loving care..so I acknowledge that during our first few conversations.. (never wanting to disregard the care and love they each have for her).... My difficulty ,in trying to get to know them better.. is that they expect me to be just like her..even tho they are first attracted to a lively, attentive, attractive woman..who is well groomed, still working, loves to dance... they yet want to keep me mentally dependant on them as their wife was..they seem to think that we are so deperate that a flirt should be enough.to pull us into their "bubble" of comfort. . if I could tell any of them: PLEASE practice some new thinking..find out what modern women find attractive.. dont expect us to be your wife..dont be so connected to "the old days"..that you still feel guilty for being with a new woman.. you cant have it both ways..stay in your familiar comfort zone..dont come out and only expect me to change and dont seem to think you have to.. I'm still a believer..and plan to keep enjoying life with great expectation that I am worthy of a loving, sharing relationship with a handsome man who dresses well, smells terrific and is happy to meet and spend time with me!! I'm a great catch!!

J

JohnR201356

Contributor ⭐

This is my first effort at this and I was interested in your comments and thought I'd dip my toe in an option to find an email friend. I understand fully your concerns, and that isn't me. I can't envision trying to recreate my wife since 1955, who I lost over 2 years ago.

I'm 86 years old former military and somewhat introverted. I am agnostic, do a bit of writing and I know I would enjoy conversation, but doing it by email is a question to be answered. Another question would be would you be interested in trying this out?

John

R

RaymondB586930

Contributor ⭐

I am seeking a woman with good heart . No drama , i am 61 , 55 above is welcome . We can talk about many things ,be friends for as long as things get to work better , no need to rush . Respect each others opinion . Please write me , i will be glad to talk to you soon .

Raymond