🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

📎 GOOD Morning Everyone!!!

How are YOU?

Dear Julie @JulieT507376 , I am HERE for YOU if you need me before and/or after TODAY's funeral. 🤗🤗🤗 and 🤗🤗🤗

Today is a "stay in my bed" UNLESS something changes. Took my blood pressure med and old lady's multi in an EFFORT to take meds on time. Chlolestral tonight when I do my hourly walk inside my Studio Apt. Had a VERY ROUGH night of sadness BUT knowing Mr. 🐈 would be SCRATCHING the s.it out of my door IF I didnot feed him, made me get up./lol 🤣😂 My Cat Alarm that NEVER SHUTS OFF OR SNOOZE until I open my door for his breakfast. My boy!!!

Everyone, I HOPE today brings GOOD stuff your way.

Heading now to make a much needed cup of coffee.

Luv you ALL very much,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗

Community Champion ⭐

Morning Nicole ❤️ I have been dealing with some medical issues. My rheumatologist requires me to get blood test for him to continue the medication till I see my new doctor. He called and said I had to go to Urgent Care as I have a serious infection! Went and they put me on Cipra, a strong antibiotic. Took it one day and I had a horrible headache and my blood pressure shot up to 208/100! Back to Urgent Care and they took me off of the Cipra (too powerful). So, I have been taking it easy. I have decided to go off of the medication prescribed by the rheumatologist as the cure is worse than the disease. (chemo medication) I will wait until I see my new doctor here and proceed with care at that time. Today is my son's birthday, so I baked him a cake! The night before I experienced my FIRST thunder and lightening storm. It only lasted about 15 minutes. I have always been so afraid of thunder and lightening when I lived in Pennsylvania so it was an experience for me. It wasn't so bad. (I guess I am growing up) I am so glad that those of us on this site are taking care of ourselves. In November, I will be 81 (still kicking) but I know that I have to focus on taking care of myself. I am not certain if all of my issues have surfaced because I have finally settled in after my move and notice them, or if I AM FALLING APART!! 🤣 In the next 3 months I will see my new doctors and hopefully get the answers and care I need. Until then I encourage everyone to get their check ups and TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES. ❤️

📎 Group Discussion: Share a RECIPE and/or ASK for one!!!

Community Champion ⭐

Here is something new I have tried:

Baked Egg Tortilla

l large tortilla

3 large eggs (beaten)

1/3 cup cottage cheese

1/2 large bell pepper finely chopped

Handful of spinach finely chopped

Salt & Pepper

1/3 cup grated cheese

Preheat oven 425. Place tortilla in pie dish. Mix eggs, cottage cheese, S & P Top evenly with bell pepper, spinach and sprinkle with cheese. Bake till middle is set and edges are golden brown. Cut with pizza cutter and enjoy. You can add whatever vegetables you enjoy (mushrooms, zucchini, and even sausage.

M

MarcyW882921

Community Champion ⭐⭐

I tried this recipe and loved it. Thanks Cadee @Cadee2719 !

Marcy

📎 OUR PRAYER LIST!!!

Jonibee @jonibee , just had surgery - for a SPEEDY RECOVERY. 🤗🤗🤗

Julie @JulieT507376 , family funeral YESTERDAY - FOR PEACE & COMFORT. 🤗🤗🤗

Cadee @Cadee2719 , trouble walking and chronic pain - FIND OUT CAUSE & SOLUTION. 🤗🤗🤗

Marcy @MarcyW882921 , migraines - THEY STAY AWAY FOREVER. 🤗🤗🤗

*** Anyone else? ***

jonibee

Community Champion ⭐⭐

I go for the final follow up tomorrow and the leg seems to be healing well from the procedure though I do have a question regarding the pain where the leg bends as I wake up stiff there ever morning and it takes a well to "work the kink out"...Hopefully this will subside with the passing of time..The other leg procedure has to wait until a scheduled appt. after Jan due to bacup of others before me..Thank You for thinking of me...

📎 A QUESTION FOR OUR TWO AARP EXPERTS!!! 🤗🤗🤗

Hi Amy @agoyer and Jane @JaneCares .

I HOPE you are BOTH well and thank you SO MUCH for stopping by the AARP Grief & Loss Forum to help us. 👍👍👍

What has HELPED you to MOVE FORWARD after losing someone you CARED about?

*** Does anyone else have a QUESTION for these two caring and compassionate AARP Experts? ***

Thanks,

Nicole (Grief Support Group)

agoyer

Conversationalist ⭐⭐⭐

@SummerOnTheWay1 After caregiving for both of my parents and my sister for many years (more than a decade) I had a very difficult time adjusting after they had all passed on. After Dad died (he was the last one) I was numb for a few months. Then slowly unthawed. It took about 3 yrs before I felt more like myself. I wrote this column about what it felt like. Life After Caregiving: The Unexpected Beginning. I hope it will be helpful for some of you to see how I managed and found meaning in my life again. Now - Dad has been gone 6 years, Mom since 2013 and my sister Karen since 2014. My niece died in 2012 from suicide - she was just 19 years old. I still think about them all every day. My life will never be the same, but I can feel joy and I have things I look forward to and I have meaning in my life. ❤️ There is hope! And I do have moments now when I smile when I think of them, a good memory comes to mind before I feel sad about missing them. The anguish gets better - or really we just learn to handle it differently over time. Time doesn't extinguish the anguish and sadness and loss, it helps us put it in a place where we can deal with it. Acknowledge it, while also living our lives and feeling joy and love and having fun. It can all co-exist. One doesn't cancel out the other.

Take care,

Amy Goyer, AARP Family & Caregiving Expert

Community Champion ⭐

Amy, Thank You for your article. You have given me comfort by explaining your journey. I was a caregiver for over 20 years after my husband had a stroke and then he spent the last seven months in Home Hospice Care dying of lung cancer. We married at a very young age and were married 61 years when he died. I had NEVER lived alone and it was frightening for me to be alone when he died. Hospice Care was very hard both emotionally and physically but I wanted to care for him. The nurse that came twice a week finally sat me down and explained that I was working so hard to keep him alive and that I had to accept the reality that he is dying. I could not and would not accept the reality that he was going to die. Once he did, it was unsafe to remain in my home and I prepared to move out of state to be near my remaining sibling, my brother. I kept flying to the new state and looking for a home. My remaining son came with me. I then began to pack up the house I lived in for over 45 years. I moved into my new home in April, 2024. What your article has taught me is that I kept myself SO BUSY since the day my husband, son & brother died that I have yet to mourn their loss. Yes, I took care of the move, the financial, et. al BUT one year and 9 months later I have yet to deal with the loss, the loneliness, the helplessness, the emptiness in my life. I have dealt with the need to take care of myself and schedule doctor appointments and I have been a member of this group and with their help I have learned to TAKE ONE STEP AT A TIME. Without them, I would not be here today. I feel guilty that I am still mourning. I really don't talk to anyone (but my friends on this site) about my feelings. My son still has not dealt with the pain of losing his brother, Dad and Uncle and I do not want to burden him. Thank You for your article. You TRULY understand the depth of loss and have helped me to understand that I am STILL healing or maybe I am just truly beginning the process. I have printed your article and I will read it to remind me that it is ok to cry, to be sad, to miss those that I love and pray that one day I can think of them and smile and remember the happy times. I realize that now that life has slowed down for me it is time. Thank You ❤️

📎 [9/15/24] Those "small" steps WE sometimes take DO COUNT!!! 🙂

J

JulieT507376

Contributor ⭐⭐

Funeral done now internment tomorrow at national cemetery. My iPhone pops up slide shows periodically. Tonight a selfie from nine months before Mark passed popped up. His smile was full of love. Don’t recall seeing the photo before or even know where it was taken. I know he’s here with me! I need him soooo much.

📎 How are YOU???

It's MONDAY = neighbors ABOVE me returned to work after a WEEKEND FROM H.LL with them!!! Happy Dance TRIPLE time. 💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃💃

I am getting BETTER at being "patient" about MOVING = waiting on laid off daughter to "figure out" WHERE her next job is before I move "closer" to her. Lol, but I still have MY MOMENTS of wanting to do bodily harm to them when they are driving me crazy. 🤣😂

Well, Kroger as usual today to shop (NOT too much, VERY EXPENSIVE 😭), cash in one of my WINNING $1 scratch-off tickets.

Also what I call a CAT BROOM DAY as Mr. 🐈 thinks he OWNS my Studio Apt and on those days when I am NOT at home ALL DAY (retired) he REFUSES to go outside when I am LEAVING apt. 🙄🙄🙄 1st time back in May of this year when I "inherited" him, lol - he looked at me & broom like I AM SO NOT SCARED OF YOU. Then fought the broom. Sorry my boy, cannot leave you inside as you will lose it and hurt yourself. Nope, determined to come and go ALL DAY. But the GOOD NEWS, after that BATTLE in May - all I have to do now is bring out my broom when I am ready to leave and OUT HE GOES. 👍👍👍

Everyone, please keep OUR Julie @JulieT507376 in your thoughts. ANOTHER "difficult" day for our friend. 😭😭😭 NOW TO HOPE life gives her a much needed break from Family Funerals.

Luv you ALL very much,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗

Community Champion ⭐

HAPPINESS IS BEING OWNED BY A CAT! 😁 My son is having a similiar experience. There is a cat (with a collar) that comes into his home and visits on a regular basis. The previous owners had two indoor cats and my son thinks this cat is a friend that visited often. Funny there are no feral cats in my neighborhood. I am still questioning whether or not I want a pet to care for. After being a caregiver since 2001 and especially the last 7 months of Hospice Care, I honestly don't want to care for anything, even a plant right now.

📎 SENDING LOTS AND LOTS OF HUGS YOUR WAY!!! 🤗🤗🤗

Julie @JulieT507376 , Jonibee @jonibee , Cadee @Cadee2719 , MC @mc6844 and Marcy @MarcyW882921 , Lisa @LisaJP6763 .

jonibee

Community Champion ⭐⭐

My follow up visit showed that the surgery procedure did what was expected and the leg should show improvement over the next month..I also found out that I may have what they call "Baker's Cyst" where the legs bend a fluid build-up with extra attention as to what causes the sudden onset of pain such as Arthrities, salty foods, and other things refraining and laying on ones side using cold or heat and taking Ibeprofen or Motrin should help with pain. Or see an Orthopedic for further tx...Always something to contend with..I go back in a month for release and then another appt. for other leg to be done...I find that after going to the doctors, it poops me out literally and I am good for nothing the rest of the day...Oh well, there's always tomorrow and what that brings..

📎 [9/16/24] So Jonibee @jonibee , will the CYST go away with a LIFESTYLE change? 🤔

Luv you my friend,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗

[*** JONIBEE wrote: My follow up visit showed that the surgery procedure did what was expected and the leg should show improvement over the next month..I also found out that I may have what they call "Baker's Cyst" where the legs bend a fluid build-up with extra attention as to what causes the sudden onset of pain such as Arthrities, salty foods, and other things refraining and laying on ones side using cold or heat and taking Ibeprofen or Motrin should help with pain. Or see an Orthopedic for further tx...Always something to contend with..I go back in a month for release and then another appt. for other leg to be done...I find that after going to the doctors, it poops me out literally and I am good for nothing the rest of the day...Oh well, there's always tomorrow and what that brings.. ***]

📎 OUR MEMBERS HELPING MEMBERS TEAM 🤗🤗🤗

Julie @JulieT507376 , Jonibee @jonibee , Cadee @Cadee2719 , MC @mc6844 and Marcy @MarcyW882921 , Lisa @LisaJP6763 and Nicole (me).

Community Champion ⭐

Morning to all! It breaks my heart to think that Julie is going through the same journey as we are. I pray that she will take One Step At a Time and be kind to herself. It seems as if life continues to be a struggle and we must be strong to survive. My brother (the reason why I moved here) was rushed to the hospital. He had fallen in the bathroom and caused damage to the orbital bone around his eye! While in the hospital they discovered that he was having heart issues as well. (something that every member of my family died from) They think that is what made him fall. I am glad that they are taking care of all these issues and pray that he will be released soon. All he asked of me is to bring him cabbage rolls! 😂 He is the last sibling of seven and I don't want to lose him.

📎 Group Discussion: Any NATURE FOLKS out there? 📸 Attachment 📸 They say it HEALS our "insides" and "encourages" as we MOVE FORWARD. Hmmm, are you maybe gardening - taking walks outside and so on? Stop by when YOU feel up to it and SHARE your experience. I luv gardening but scared of SNAKES!!! 😱😱😱

📎 Cadee @Cadee2719 , LAST year 2023 when we were chatting about my interest in the MOON - you had mentioned having had a TELESCOPE in the past. Was it one of those HUGE ones? Yes, after diverting from my STUDIES for a FEW MONTHS (dealing with a.sholes ABOVE me & more water leaks in my apt 🙄), I am FINALLY ready to get back ON TRACK!!! 💃💃💃

Thanks my friend.

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗

Community Champion ⭐

No it was my grandson's telescope, not a really big one. Now I am looking for binoculars so I can sit at my dining room window and identify all the birds that come to my feeder. I figure when it snows and I am "held captive" in my home I can entertain myself by bird watching!