Honey, Sweetie, Dearie: The Perils of Elderspeak

[GailL1]

KFFHealth News 05/09/2025 - The New Old Age - Honey, Sweetie, Dearie: The Perils of Elderspeak 

[excerpts from the linked article.]

People understand almost intuitively what “elderspeak” means. “It’s communication to older adults that sounds like baby talk,”  It arises from an ageist assumption of frailty, incompetence, and dependence.”

Its elements include inappropriate endearments. “Elderspeak can be controlling, kind of bossy, so to soften that message there’s ‘honey,’ ‘dearie,’ ‘sweetie,’”  We have negative stereotypes of older adults, so we change the way we talk.”

Or caregivers may resort to plural pronouns: Are we ready to take our bath? There, the implication “is that the person’s not able to act as an individual,” “Hopefully, They are not taking the bath with you.

Sometimes, elderspeakers employ a louder volume, shorter sentences, or simple words intoned slowly. Or they may adopt an exaggerated, singsong vocal quality more suited to preschoolers, along with words like “potty” or “jammies.”

With what are known as tag questions — It’s time for you to eat lunch now, right? — “You’re asking them a question but you’re not letting them respond,”  “You’re telling them how to respond.”

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A GREAT article - there is lots more in the article as well as dissuasion on a new communication technic called CHAT and how it is making a difference in care for older adults even some with diseases associated with cognitive decline or just aging.

Only your significant other and the old-timer waitress at Waffle House should call us older adults “Hone” or Sweetie” and the later is OK because she calls everybody this regardless of age.