AARP Online Community and Discussion Forums - Family memeber in Canada, caregiver in the US

rd48367687 · ‎01-21-2018

Hi I'm new. My mother-in-law is in Canada and is starting to need a lot of help. She is losing her short term memory, and her judgement is impaired. I'm in the US and trying to get her access to whatever services or other help she can get where she lives in Ontario. We can't move to Canada because we don't have a way to make a living there, and she can't move here because she would have no access to health care. Has anyone here had any sort of similar experience, and if so, could you provide some helpful advice or links to resources? Thanks

dt4372 · ‎03-08-2024

Hi, I am a Canadian caregiver, author and educator. I think your best resource will the Ontario Caregiver Organization https://ontariocaregiver.ca/. They have a helpline with real people answering and they can point you to many resources in the province. Another comprehensive list of supports in Canada can be found here (provincial and federal) https://canadiancaregiving.org/caregivers/caregiver-resources/. Good luck! Donna Thomson

JaneCares · ‎01-28-2018

@rd48367687 wrote:
Hi I'm new. My mother-in-law is in Canada and is starting to need a lot of help. She is losing her short term memory, and her judgement is impaired. I'm in the US and trying to get her access to whatever services or other help she can get where she lives in Ontario. We can't move to Canada because we don't have a way to make a living there, and she can't move here because she would have no access to health care. Has anyone here had any sort of similar experience, and if so, could you provide some helpful advice or links to resources? Thanks

Hi there.

Well, my guess is that Ontario has similar if not better social services there than we have here in the USA.

I did a little googling, and found this: https://www.ontario.ca/page/guide-programs-and-services-seniors. When you and your husband go to Ontario, take about a week and meet with these folks first thing. Your husband should find out how much income your mother has because, in Canada as in the USA, some programs may be based on your income. Your situation isn't so very different from having a mother in law far away in the USA, you just have to work a slightly different system.

Kinda depends on what she needs.

I do hope you aren't doing all of this by yourself. Your husband has a lot he can and should do to help his mother.

Say more? I think we'd all like to learn how similar and different it is up there. She is lucky to have you helping.

Good luck,

Jane, safely ensconced in Oregon

agoyer · ‎01-26-2018

@rd48367687 Long distance caregiving is tough enough, but dealing with another country and different systems must be another added layer of challenge!

Here are a few resources in Canada that might be helpful to you:

CARP (Canada Association of Retired Persons) www.carp.ca
Canadian Govt Seniors and Aging Dept https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/health-promotion/aging-seniors.html
Caregiver Exchange Canada - list of a wide variety resources for caregivers in Canada http://caregiverexchange.ca/12/Websites_for_Caregivers
Alzheimer's Society of Ontario http://www.alzheimer.ca/en/on

I'd contact them and explain your situation and ask about local caregivers, perhaps a geriatric care manager or aging life care specialist/expert who could be your eyes and ears on the ground there and manage things that are difficult for you to do from a distance.

Here is my column, 4 Tips for Long Distance Caregivers - hope it will give you some ideas!

Technology can be so helpful for long distance caregivers - here are some of my tips about using technology:

If you hire a caregiver there to help your mother, maybe this will be helpful: 5 Lessons I’ve Learned Hiring Caregivers

Please let me know if I can answer any specific questions to help!

Take care,

Amy Goyer, AARP Famiy & Caregiving Expert

sandieliz · ‎01-25-2018

I am in the same situation. My mother is in Ontario and I am in the states. Right now I have someone who lives with her in a roommate situation. And she has friends that check in on her. However, I am noticing that she is needing more help and she is now open to the idea of moving into an assisted living situation. I contacted A place for Mom and they have been helpful in giving me some places that might work...

Please let me know what help you were thinking and perhaps we can come up with something that would work for both of us.

pajourney · ‎08-12-2023

Although a Place for Mom may offer a fine recommendation, thoroughly check out the facility yourself. My friend used the service to locate a facility in AZ for her dad (she lives in NY). The place recommended was not satisfactory, and she performed her own research to find a better facility.

Jen · ‎01-25-2018

@rd48367687 wrote:
Hi I'm new. My mother-in-law is in Canada and is starting to need a lot of help. She is losing her short term memory, and her judgement is impaired. I'm in the US and trying to get her access to whatever services or other help she can get where she lives in Ontario. We can't move to Canada because we don't have a way to make a living there, and she can't move here because she would have no access to health care. Has anyone here had any sort of similar experience, and if so, could you provide some helpful advice or links to resources? Thanks

Hi there and welcome to the community.

There are certainly challenges that come with living in different locations when it comes to caring for a loved one, and even more so in a different country. I am hoping that other caregivers in this community have experienced the same thing and can weigh in to assist. In the meantime, we do have a very handy, free guide for long-distance caregivers that you may find useful. You can find it HERE.

Please come back and let us know if it was useful for you in the meantime.

Be well.

AARPJen
Caregiving Concierge