Depressed about aging

​@RobertaK589442 I can imagine how discouraging that could be, experiencing more complicated health issues and feeling like you need increasing support, but not having someone you can rely on no matter what. 

We sometimes call it “solo aging” (personally, I’m not a huge fan of the term - because just because one lives alone doesn’t mean you can’t be connected with others) and there are increasing numbers of older adults in your situation (which doesn’t make your situation easier, but might be helpful to know you aren’t alone!). 

There are some developments in terms of long term care and aging in place that may be helpful for you. Over the years I’ve seen the “village” movement growing across the country. It’s not an actual village - it’s sort of a virtual village with neighbors in your area. People “Join” the village, and, as a group, they help each other. One person can drive you to your doc appt while you have anesthesia. Another person could help with yard work. Another could bring you a meal after surgery etc. There are also social activities so you get to meet people and develop friendships you might not have otherwise. Sometimes, they recruit younger volunteers in the community who what to help. Some of these villages negotiate better rates on transportation services, in home care services, grocery delivery or a whole range of things. It’s a great idea and helps people age in their homes and be less alone. The Village to Village Network explains how the “villages” work and there is a search tool to see if there is one set up in your community. For example, I live in Alexandria, VA and the “village” here is called At Home Alexandria. Here’s a link to search in your area (or you could start one if there isn’t already one in place!) https://www.vtvnetwork.org/ 

Here is an article on the AARP website that may also be of interest to you:

Solo Agers Can Be Alone But Not Lonely 

How Older Americans Living Alone are Making it Work 

More Older Adults are Living Along 

5 Retirement Planning Tips for Solo Agers 

Solo Agers Need a Network of Friends (you’ll see a mention of the Village to Village Network in this article too)

I also want to make sure you are aware of professionals called “Aging Life Care Experts” whose job it is to help coordinate care, help you find services etc. (they are sometimes called Geriatric Care Managers). Finding one in your area who could be kept apprised of your health issues and medications etc, and whom you could pay to help out when you need it could be helpful. You can learn more about them here: https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/geriatric-care-manager/ 

Lastly, every county in the U.S. is part of an “area agency on aging” service area, and they offer home- and community-based services like transportation and myriad other services that might be helpful to you. I always think it’s a good idea to contact them and find out what they offer just in case you may need it some day (or could use some things now). You can find yours by using the Eldercare Locator at www.eldercare.acl.gov and putting in your zip code. 

I hope some of these resources are helpful to you! 

Take care,

Amy Goyer, AARP Natl. Family & Caregiving Expert

How doe one access CVS Minuteclinic? I have Excellus Blue Cross Blue Shield Medicare Advantage plan. Does this CVS Minuteclinic take it? Also what is covered besides mental health with the CVS Minuteclinic?

You said you hoped she had lots of support. she doesn't have support. she more or less said that in her post. It is a hope, a dream and an illusion to imagine that people have "lots of support" as you suggested. there is no evidence to back up that the average person walking around has "lots of support". if she had lots of support, she wouldn't be using an online forum to get support. her "lots of support" would have already comforted her and given her the support she needs. she wouldn't need a forum to get more support.

I am 54, turning 55 in September. I have spent most of my life treat my depression, sometimes not so healthfully, but it never truly ends. Now, getting older is adding a new layer to it. I am often stuck in regret and feeling the "why bother", too. I have two college age children, but I don't believe they are capable of adulting (as it were), nevermind adulting on my behalf. My mother is in late stage Alzheimer's Dementia and has been under hospice care since Feb. 2022. My father, although in decent physical health, is dying with her emotionally. And our socio-political and economic climates offer no hope. I often think that I should have never gotten married or had children, which was my mantra in my teens and early twenties. What have I brought these two young people into? They are anxious, depressed, stoned on legal marijuana every day, and rationalize all of this with their victim mindset with which mass media (internet, TV, music, even education) has indoctrinated them! All the parenting skills and love that I have and tried could not triumph over the daily indoctrination.from these devices on which we have become entirely reliant. We would have to live like John the Baptist to escape the evil influences destroying our joy.

Carolyn, forget about all the things you don't have, children grandchildren, and give thanks for what is working in your life at this time.  Start learning how to do new things, sewing, watercolor, crocheting, swimming, bird watching, growing Herbs for health or something else of interest.

I am79 years old, I live in a little country town of (200) with my husband, yes, I have children, grand children and great Grand. Trust me, they are all off doing their own thing. Unless they need financial help from you. My Christmas present to myself was a 5 string Bass guitar . If you'd like to learn, I would be happy to show you how it goes. Have a great one!