Lasting Loving Relationships

Been married for 22 years. My wife and I's age difference is 11 years. We seldom prevent our own creativity. We do our own thing. We've been going Dutch, since 2001. We can talk about just about anything. 

I remember when I first saw him- playing at a rugby game in Hawaii.  It was an intense game, more physical than football, as they wear no padding or helmet.  A guy came running out, with blood pumping like a fountain out of his head.  I said I had enough, ( that wasn't him, someone else).

 The next day, I was sitting under a palm tree studying for a history exam and a guy walked past me, stopped turned around, and came by me and said" Hi".  I thought to myself if I ignore him he will go away.  But, he didn't go away.  Then, he sat down.  Now, I have to talk with him. He didn't know much English but we made conversation and he was funny.

This is the wonderful person that I married.  He came from Tonga, the Friendly Islands.  He always made jokes, and I think I was too serious but he always made me smile.  The one thing about him, is Nothing is Impossible.  He told me I must always Forgive and move on, let it go. Also, when, I got married, my Mom told me that since I was marrying a different race, we would have major blow ups for a year, and to always talk with each other everyday.  She was dead right ,but it lasted two years. His customs and my customs were really different but we made a pact. We would take some of his and some of mine and let the rest go! It worked out like a charm.

Whenever, he got real mad, I would say- whatever - and walk away and that infuriated him. So, I realized, I have to change the word and said- have a nice day and walked away and he was puzzled and said" Want to go for a drive? And I knew this was our chance to make it Beautiful again.  So, it's about comprising too.  Our beautiful drives brought out everything because of the scenery, beaches, oceans, blue skies, people laughing, so why stay mad?

Whatever works, keep repeating it thru your whole relationship!

My husband has since passed away but I see his harmony in my 4 children!

If two people really appreciate one another and enjoy their very presence, then a lasting relationship is easier to obtain.

We've been married 55 years, we knew each other since we were 12, I didn't like him, dated at 15 he had changed, then married at 17. I feel it is very important to be friends first, if you can't like someone, you can't love them. 

We have been thru 4 yrs of The Marines, Viet Nam, a daughter killed and we are still loving each other just as much. Laughs and fights along the way, this tends to happen when you marry at 17. Sometimes if we do argue, I have learned to just say OK Bob and walk away, esp. after our daughter was killed.  I learned that in grief counseling, just walk away, then there is NO argument. 

Lots of laughs, my husband jokes with all of us, Our 10th Annv. was a surprise trip to NY. and for our 25th we went to the Bahamas. On Valentines Day all 3 of us girls got candy. Flowers at times, cards and clothes too many times. 

Now we have gone out for a nice lobster dinner for the past several years. 

I feel you just truly love someone or you don't. I always say he is the man my HEART loves. I will love him until the day He Dies.

I believe that the secret to a close, lasting, loving relationship is communication.  Without communication you have nothing.  You can have passion but if you cannot communicate with each other you simply have a one sided relationship and that never works.  I believed in communication but the man I was married to did not think it was important.  We were together almost 20 years and married for almost 15 of those.  The lack of communication is what broke us up and because he would not talk before filing for divorce, I would not discuss getting back together.  Besides by that time he had moved out of state and I was not interested in moving from a sunshine state to a state where there was snow and ice.

I also believe that you need common goals.  If you do not have common goals either short term or long term you are working against each other.  You need to be a team.  "There is no I in TEAM!"  We were always a team or so I thought bu the last 4 years the man I was married to took a job as a cross country truck driver.  After the 4 years on the road, he had no interest in getting off the road.  I would have liked to have him home, and start a family but he had no interest in giving up his freedom to have a normal life.  What it boiled down to was he had no responsibllities like he would have if he was home everyday and he liked that.  He no longer even had to water the lawn, feed the dog, or take out the trash because I did all of it for him.

i am so heartened to see all these cool comments!

Laughter, Laughter Laughter, and enjoying time together. alone time and making time. i really like my husband, you gotta really like your partner.  

I've enjoyed reading all the happy married couples post. I'd love to marry again so if you happily married couples have a great guy friend or family member who wants a great wife, let me know. Just reading ya'll's post about how happy ya'll are in marriage makes me desire to remarry all the more. 🙂

It’s simple:

Love

Respect

Compromise

Friendship

What I found to be interesting to a lasting,long relationship is listening to my husband of 17 years. Instead of talking so much. Sometimes he has some interesting things to say.. laugh if you will, but so true..