Have suggestions to find the right therapist?

I have had several challenges through my life and through my marriage. Married young 4 yrs of Marine life, 14 mos of Viet Nam with a Marine wounded coming home who I knew was not the same boy of 17 who went in  4 yrs earlier. Aggressive, short-tempered, not knowing how to adjust to civilian life, and back then no assistance. 

A miscarriage I tried for 4 years to get pregnant and 4 more yrs until I did. She then ended up with the worst colic for 4 months. 

The usual young couple struggling. Then 5 yrs later another baby she ended up in the hospital at 10 days for a week having caught a virus in the Hospital. 

Finally, that 3rd baby killed at age 20 so I did see a grief therapist for 3 years also 2 Support Groups. Now I see a therapist for different reasons in my life back to my childhood. To me, it's just someone who listens, not family or friend who seems to care if they're good.

There is no shame in a therapist or being medicated as I am for depression. I think with my personality I will be medicated until I die. I don't think I will ever cope with the death of my baby girl. without it. 

This is a great topic! I have gone to therapists at a couple of points in my life. The most recent was about 10 years ago. I had a mix of things I wanted to deal with. There were some behavioral things, like talking too much when I get nervous in social situations, or similarly, using a wall of words to keep someone at bay when I became nervous that things were moving a little too fast or I thought they were trying to get too close too fast, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. But I also wanted to explore myself, and try to gain some understanding of what was going on inside of me. But I didn't know very much at all about approaches to therapy. What I did know was that my therapist kept us very focused on working at the behavioral things, like my talking too much, and steered away from trying to engage in self examination and understanding about what might lie behind it. Some time later I went back to school to study psychology, and now I realize that that therapist was focused on a behavioral approach. But I learned there are an array of approaches, and it's useful to know what they are, to help you when you decide to find a therapist. CBT is great if you want to deal with problems by examining, identifying and modifying thoughts and behaviors. It's often great, and fast at helping with anxiety, depression and phobias. If you are trying to get better by learning more about your inner self, a psychodynamic method is a good path, but generally requires more time. And there are other similar approaches like humanistic/existential (patient led) approaches, which can also be good at looking inside yourself to try and gain a better understanding of who you are. I think maybe the best way to decide, is if you ask a therapist you are considering how they approach therapy, and think about whether that method resonates as a productive way to go about helping you with your problems. 

I am a therapist, and I also see an IFS therapist.  I've become a fan of IFS  (Internal Family Systems), which can be used both in therapy, and as an approach to handling one's own mind (and other people's) in day to day life.   I find that it helps with self-acceptance, with increasing resilience, and with healing the 'old stuff' that can still rise up out of the psychic 'crypt' and take over some time.        Getting support is especially important for caregivers of any kind (whether as a parent, an eldercaregiver, or a professional).  And I am finally learning not to wait til things feel awful; why not do preventive work, and reach out BEFORE things have a chance to go bad?     FYI,  I am one of the therapists at CVS Minuteclinic, available in many states and in-network for Medicare.   They hire good people, so if you are looking for a therapist, go to the website and check it out, you can even self-schedule.