The Grief That Never Ends

You are definitely not alone.  There are a lot of people who don’t post here a lot, myself included, who understand what you are going through.  While it can sometimes seem unbearable, do know that others feel your pain as well. It amazes me how sometimes when one expresses a feeling, others feel wow, I feel that too.  Many times people don’t express it outloud, but wished they did.

 I belong to a wonderful fitness community.  I can’t tell you how many times a topic about a worry of a loved one’s health or death,brings a common bond among the rest of us.  

You are not alone.

You are definitely not alone. I lost my grandma 12-30-1999 unexpected and she was so excited to see the year 2000. She was 79 yrs old.

My mom passed away from Cancer July 15th 2010. She was only 63yrs old. 
my grandma, my mom and myself were extremely close. The loss of both of them has affected my life so much. I think about them multiple times a day. I don’t think I have dealt with my grief. I try to block the sadness and pain I feel which I know isn’t healthy. I can’t help it though it just hurts to bad. I used to be scared to die but not anymore. I know they are waiting for me. I’m 51 yrs old so I hope I have many years ahead of me. I have two grown children and I’m happily married. So I have many blessings in my life which I am thankful for I just wish my mom and grandma were here to share in the joys of my life. I miss and love them so much! So much that it’s hard to think about because it hurts so badly. I can think of memories and look at pictures with a smile but if I think to deep about them not being here and the pain of missing them I go into a tail spin. .

Jamie

Lea, I'm so sorry for your losses. You can stop by here any hour of the day knowing you're not alone in this. What you read and share helps yourself and others. 

After listening to your story, it occurs to me that I too am still grieving the loss of my family members; my parents from 1999 and 2002 respectively; my niece, then 22 days later her brother; my own grandson, then a couple of months later another nephew. It has been a long journey for me - for our family - but I can't stop. Because if I do, I fear that I won't be able to cope. So, I just keep going. You have to do the same...no matter what.

That’s a lot of heavy loss around the same time every year, it makes sense it hits hard again and again. A lot of people find it helps to plan something small for those dates (like a walk or visiting a place that feels safe) instead of trying to “power through” them.