Contributor ⭐⭐⭐

Lost my mom

Forum|Forum|1 year ago
June 30, 2025
70 replies
36996 views

10 years ago my mom had a heart attack and I started taking care of her. It's been an up and down path. 6 years ago we moved where we're at now hoping to be closer to family. 4 years ago her kidneys start to fail. She had to start doing dialysis. On June 8th 2025 you passed away. For the last 6 years I haven't worked I've just been taking care of her. Now I have nothing except our cats. I'm going to end up homeless losing everything. By dealing with my own mental health I'm 50 years old. I got three older brothers but they've never helped now that she's gone they just ignoring me. I feel so lost. She wasn't just my mom she was my best friend. She leaned on me and I leaned on her. now I don't know how to go forward.

grief & loss forum

Stephen74UtahAuthor

Contributor ⭐⭐⭐

I'm saying a counselor and a job counselor to try to find something but times already run out. And I only have one friend and he can't help me. Just going to come down to the fact that I'm going to get evicted and me and my cats will be evicted and homeless. Kind of hard to get work when you're dealing with depression anxiety panic attacks PTSD I'm trying to get my disability but I've been denied three times already it takes time to appeal again.

SummerOnTheWay1

Stephen @Stephen74Utah , does your counselor know you are going to be evicted? Maybe they may be able to "refer" you for help with this. Emergency Shelter is what it is called in my state.

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

Stephen74UtahAuthor

Contributor ⭐⭐⭐

Yeah the counselor knows we've already signed up for section 8 and for emergency housing assistance but until I received the eviction notice they said they really can't help a whole lot. I'm still trying to see if I can also find work. But I'm also dealing with being sick for the last week I haven't recovered from that either.

Stephen74UtahAuthor

Contributor ⭐⭐⭐

The grief is still bad. Still no support from 95% of my family. Still facing eviction. My anxieties, panic attacks, PTSD, and depression are still very bad. Just me and my support cats. My counselor does know all of this. The sickness I had was was just allergy cold.

SummerOnTheWay1

Stephen @Stephen74Utah , I was hoping you had found a "safe" place to stay dear friend. 😞

Hmmm, NO pressure to reply, but wondering why you have NOT told your counselor?

I had my 1st session with my Counselor. NOT dealing well with getting old at age 67.

SO GLAD, it is an allergy!!!

Try to enjoy the 5% Family Support. Glad you have a few supporters.

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

@Stephen74Utah wrote:
The grief is still bad. Still no support from 95% of my family. Still facing eviction. My anxieties, panic attacks, PTSD, and depression are still very bad. Just me and my support cats. My counselor does know all of this. The sickness I had was was just allergy cold.

Stephen74UtahAuthor

Contributor ⭐⭐⭐

The counselor does know everything.

agoyer

Conversationalist ⭐⭐⭐

@Stephen74Utah I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your mom and the subsequent challenges you're going through. Thank you for everything you did for your mom - you sacrificed a lot to do so, and I'm sure she was grateful.

It sounds like you are experiencing very difficult grief - your best friend has passed on, and you've also lost the role as her caregiver. Have you received any grief counseling? I'd highly urge you to try to get some 1:1 counseling if possible. Do you have health insurance? Medicaid? If so then you should be able to find a counselor who knows how to help with grief. In addition, you could to a free grief support group - either in your local area or virtually online. One option is to check into www.griefshare.org - Griefshare offers free grief support groups both in person (you can do a zip code search for your area on their website) or virtual group meetings online.

Another option is to call the funeral home that handled your mothers' remains and ask if they have a list of local grief support groups.

In addition, you're struggling with finding a place to live and not having an income. It might be that you would qualify for Social Security disability payments. You can call and make an appt at your local SS office to ask about any support you might be eligible for.

In terms of housing, I don't know your age, but if you are an older adult you may qualify for some senior housing in your area. You can contact your city or county housing office to ask about that.

I'm so glad you are here! Please respond with more specifics and any other questions so we can see how we can help. @JaneCares may have some additional suggestions!

Sending you comfort.

Take care,

Amy Goyer, AARP Family & Caregiving Expert

Stephen74UtahAuthor

Contributor ⭐⭐⭐

Hello I'm still around. Still dealing with the grief. I've been homeless now for two months and I've been separated from my cats going to be six weeks. I have a cats staying at a foster care place so I'll be able to get them back. I've been in the hospital four times for my mental health. I'm holding in right now. Still no help for my family.

L

LindaW335461

Contributor ⭐

Hi Stephen, Sending good thoughts your way. Have you ever tried any 12 step programs? There's a million programs for everything- not just for alcohol. Maybe Debtor's Anonymous or Underearners Anonymous can help you if you think they fit. There's also Adult Children of Alcoholics, if you've had any ACA and/or dysfunction in your family. Many people in ACA and the other 12 step programs have mental health issues or their family has them. I just think 12 step programs are amazing, and they're free for the most part. Tons of resources, and tons of different people to help so you can find the right fit.

SummerOnTheWay1

Linda @LindaW335461 , thank you SO MUCH for stopping by to "support" OUR Stephen!!!

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** LINDA

@LindaW335461 wrote:
Hi Stephen, Sending good thoughts your way. Have you ever tried any 12 step programs? There's a million programs for everything- not just for alcohol. Maybe Debtor's Anonymous or Underearners Anonymous can help you if you think they fit. There's also Adult Children of Alcoholics, if you've had any ACA and/or dysfunction in your family. Many people in ACA and the other 12 step programs have mental health issues or their family has them. I just think 12 step programs are amazing, and they're free for the most part. Tons of resources, and tons of different people to help so you can find the right fit.

Stephen74UtahAuthor

Contributor ⭐⭐⭐

Well I made it through Thanksgiving barely. Now I have to make it through my birthday on the 11th, Christmas and my mom's birthday on June 15th. Things haven't gotten better. Factors of gotten worse. My cat and I have now been separated for two and a half months. My vehicle broke down. I won't get any money for food until the 11th. My family is just ignoring me now completely. Have lost hope. Sorry. Thank you everyone for your kind words.

Stephen74UtahAuthor

Contributor ⭐⭐⭐

Problem is I no longer feel like I'm worthy. I'm at the point where I just feel it's time to give up and end this life.

SummerOnTheWay1

Stephen @Stephen74Utah , your cats need you.

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** STEPHEN

@Stephen74Utah wrote:
Problem is I no longer feel like I'm worthy. I'm at the point where I just feel it's time to give up and end this life.

Stephen74UtahAuthor

Contributor ⭐⭐⭐

Hello I thought I would stop by. Please haven't gotten any better. The grief is still eating me alive. I'm still not getting any moral support from my family. I moved into a temporary apartment but only to be allowed to stay for another month. Along with the fact that my vehicle broke down. In January I lost my storage that I had. I couldn't pay it so I got auctioned off. So now I lost everything. I haven't been able to see my babies. I miss them so much. I've had a few family members that have started treating me worse. One family member has been talking to me. She used to work with children with mental health and mental disabilities so she knows what I'm going through. Otherwise I'm all alone. I talked to my service last week. Doesn't seem to be helping much anymore. Take care of yourselves.

SummerOnTheWay1

[Monday 4/13/26]

Stephen @Stephen74Utah , how are you doing dear friend?

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

Stephen74UtahAuthor

Contributor ⭐⭐⭐

I'm so very lost. I had a few relatives that helped me and I've applied for a job that helps people with mental health but I'm on there waiting list. But the relatives have stopped helping. So I'm going to end up on the streets by the end of this month. I've lost everything and I'm just ready for this life to end. My boss told my hope that I will see my babies again. I've lost all of my positivity. I'm just so tired.

SummerOnTheWay1

[Tuesday 4/14/36]

Stephen @Stephen74Utah , is there a CRISIS HOTLINE you can call?

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

SummerOnTheWay1

[Tuesday 4/14/26]

Stephen @Stephen74Utah , just so you know - there are members here who SUPPORT you along with AARP Expert Jane @JaneCares & AARP Darryl @DarrylL35959 . BOTH posted "suggestions" for you.

Please CONTINUE to stop by to let us know how you are doing my friend.

Grief & Loss Team 🤗

Stephen74UtahAuthor

Contributor ⭐⭐⭐

Thanks for the information. It's just been non-stop for 10 months. I'm just very tired. Since my two cats were my support animals and my mom was my support person. Losing her then couple months later being separated from my two babies. Caused my mental health to take a massive dive and I ended up in the hospital for times because I've got kind of dangerous to myself. But ever since I've been out the last time I've had therapist talk to me they don't really seem to care to help. They just want to push push push. I can't even get my older brothers to talk to me. It's not like they helped me anyways when she was still here. 10 years after she had her heart attack they never helped once they left me to do it all. And I'm the one who has a learning disability and comprehension disability plus dealing with my own mental health. Now I just feel abandoned. So very alone. I just feel so lost. All I want is a place where I can have my babies back. I miss them so very much.

SummerOnTheWay1

[Wednesday 4/15/26]

Where are you staying at the moment Stephen @Stephen74Utah ?

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

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