🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

1 comment (Thursday 11/9/23)

Hi Bill @BillH490171 , SO GOOD to hear from YOU!!! 💃💃💃

Luv you,

Nicole 🤗

✏@BillH490171 wrote:
Good morning and hope everyone is enjoying this day. Here in southwest VA, the leaves have turned and are falling like crazy. I'll be out some raking and moving them around some.
As we move into the holiday season, this will be the first one without my spouse for myself and my kids. I've read some ideas on how to deal with this "first" in the year of firsts. I plan to be away from my house, busy as I can be, and then celebrate Thanksgiving with 3 of my 4 kids on Friday.

Anyone have any tips that worked for you in getting through the holidays?

Take care, Bill ✏

mc6844

Community Champion ⭐⭐

That is a good idea Bill. Holidays don't have to be celebrated on the exact day. And not everyone can get together on the same day. I'm sorry for your loss Bill. And I know its painful without your person. However I'm sure your kids are grateful and happy to still have their Dad. Stay hopeful. I'm sure good things are on the horizon for all of you!

1 comment (Thursday 11/9/23)

Thanks Marcy @MarcyW882921 💙💙💙

Lol, I cleaned house in my REAL AND ONLINE lives = everyone on PROBATION! 🤣😂

On the SERIOUS side, I am NOT as NEEDY as I was THIS YEAR and EXCITED about what is in store for me. 💃💃💃

Luv you,

Nicole 🤗

✏@MarcyW882921 wrote:
Nicole @SummerOnTheWay1,

Reading your post about living humans in your life reminded me of a chapter in a book I am reading. The book is Build the Life You Want by Arthur C. Brooks & Oprah Winfrey. There is a chapter about friends and they are described in two categories "real and deal." Your real friends are those close friends that you confide in and the relationship endures and the deal friends are ones that serve a purpose in your life (or maybe you serve a purpose in their life) for a period of time and then it ends.

You described the process well. Identify who these people are and how they fit into your life. If their purpose or your purpose is over, it is ok to let go. If however they are someone that you respect, admire, confide in, trust, etc., invest the time and energy to maintain that relationship over time.

Marcy✏

Therapist4u

Community Champion ⭐

Hi Nicole! Hope you’re doing well!

BTW: How much longer will I have to be ....on PROBATION?!?!!

LOL!!

Take care! 🍂🍁🍂☮️ ~Allen 🌈🍂🍁🍂

jonibee

Community Champion ⭐⭐

Just an update as to my conditon of tx for carpal tunnel..i was suppose to go and have hands assessed to see if a shot was necessary but due to raise in blood sugar levels to the danger zone it wasn't done..I have to go on meds to bring it down to levels that stabalize ...i was told I have type 2 diabetes so this is a new curve thrown at me and i now have to deal with this which I will..I am a Carbs person and when emotions gnaw at you it's so easy to turn to sweets which is only a temporary fix..I have been dealing with the sugar issue blood levels for the last two years because of stress and this is the end result.Hopefully all will come to where I'm suppose to be...Thank you to those who remembered me this past week on the anniversary of my husbands passing...

Community Champion ⭐⭐

Jonibee @jonibee.

Thinking of you and I'm sorry that you are having to deal with all of these kicks while you are already down. I guess all you can do is follow doctor's orders that seem to be prioritizing what is the most crucial at this time. I hope the medication does what is is expected to do without adding any additional complications.

Marcy

2 comments (Friday 11/10/23)

👣 1 Step At A Time!

The day will come when you can remember your loved one WITHOUT PAIN.

Community Champion ⭐⭐

From your lips Nicole @SummerOnTheWay1 !

🤗❤️

1 comment (Friday 11/10/23)

Marcy @MarcyW882921 , OUR Jonibee @jonibee INSPIRES me NOT to GIVE UP!!!

Through all of this, SHE is "functioning" - gosh, I would be laying in a Hospital Bed DEMANDING stuff = I am a BIG BABY. My daughter is like dear sweet strong Jonibee.

Luv you BOTH,

Nicole 🤗🤗

✏@MarcyW882921 wrote:
Jonibee @jonibee.

Thinking of you and I'm sorry that you are having to deal with all of these kicks while you are already down. I guess all you can do is follow doctor's orders that seem to be prioritizing what is the most crucial at this time. I hope the medication does what is is expected to do without adding any additional complications.

Marcy✏

Community Champion ⭐⭐

Nicole @SummerOnTheWay1 ,

I love Jonibee's @Jonibee fighting spirit and that she inspires you. Those are things we all need!

Marcy

2 comments (11/11/23) 👋 Saturday Chat!

How are you TODAY/TONIGHT? 🤔

Me, kind of an IFFY day = rollercoaster day! 🙄

Earlier, was thinking of staying IN BED ALL DAY, but did get up to make some much needed coffee. ☕

So far, have NOT climbed back into bed.... 💃💃💃

Totally EXCITED that the YouTube Channel I SUBSCRIBE to just posted a NEW audiobook. Cannot wait for BEDTIME tonight to listen to it. 👍

"Gertrude, Gumshoe: Slam Is Murder | Cozy Mystery Audiobook" on YouTube.

Okay, let me cut this short and hit post as I see OUR Kim @KimberlyM389662 just posted. 💙💙💙

Find YOUR peace,

K

KimberlyM389662

Conversationalist ⭐⭐

Nicole,

I can't do the audio books. My daughter does in the car on her way home from work. My neighbor also. Me, I'm old school. I do read books on my Kindle it's not the same as actually feeling the weight of the book. Also, the gratification of actually turning the page with my hand. I have been reading a series of books about one specific person. I have been reading him since 1992 I just got the new book but, I have not been able to focus on reading. My therapist and my psychiatric nurse practitioner put me on a new medicine to help me focus but it hasn't had enough time to reach the plateau that I need to be able to.

1 comment (Saturday 11/11/23 1:30pm EST)

Dear Kim @KimberlyM389662 , I am TAGGING both AARP Expert Jane @JaneCares and AARP Expert Amy @agoyer to see IF they are ONLINE now.

Luv you,

Nicole 🤗

✏@KimberlyM389662 wrote:
Nicole,
I am in such a funk and can't get out of it. I feel like such a failure on everything. There are things that I have to do now with my son that has made me realize that it is things he did with his Dad and it makes me so sad that my son will never get to do those again. Social security is messing around with my son's benefits. 9 months ago I had his interview to switch his SSI over to SSDI to collect benefits under his Dad and it's still not completed. I was given a number to call my local congressman to get involved which is what I had to do last year to get my disability reviewed and of course they denied me. It's been resubmitted and per the lawyer my husband's death helps me. They have only processed 35% and it says it generally takes a year. I am going down a rabbit hole and feel like everything is closing in on me. Not sleeping well, anxiety induced panic attacks and after this month I won't be able to pay my bills. I worked so hard to keep a good credit score which is now going into the crapper. I need someone to help me and tell me it's going to get better. ✏

agoyer

Conversationalist ⭐⭐⭐

@SummerOnTheWay1 @KimberlyM389662

Kimberly I'm so sorry you are in such a fix. And dealing with this while you are grieving - it's so hard. My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

The length of time it takes for these things is so frustrating! I do think it's a good idea to call your Member of Congress and get them to help you. I know you said you did that for yourself but you were denied, and it's a good idea to do this now for your son.

You said you were working with a lawyer - that's a good thing, what is the lawyer doing to help you? Good lawyers can help the process go more smoothly and possibly faster. What advice is the lawyer giving?

Here are some resources that may be helpful.

Find free financial counseling:

Financial Counseling Association of America Or call 1-800-450-1794
The Foundation for Financial Planning has some free education resources but also has info about how to talk to a free financial expert. They also have some great worksheets and other tools.
Some banks or credit unions offer free financial counseling - you might contact yours and ask if they offer any support.
Advisors Give Back is a non-profit in which financial advisors offer free expert advice.
The Financial Planning Association also has a pro bono program for free expert advice.
I know you are concerned about being able to pay your bills. I'd urge you to contact your utility companies (gas, electric, internet, etc.) and tell the you are struggling and ask if they have any programs to help - some offer discounted services, deferred payments, etc.

Supplement your income and help pay for expenses by applying for other public benefits:

Be sure you have also signed up for any other benefits you might be eligible for (and they may go faster that Social Security does). For example, LIHEAP (low income home energy assistance program) helps people with low incomes pay their heating and electric bills. AARP has these free public benefits state fact sheets for every state and you can see about how to apply in your state, who to contact, etc. You might qualify for SNAP (food and nutrition benefits), TANF (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families) or other benefits as well. Have you applied for Medicaid?

Use a food bank:

Remember that you can go to a Food Bank to get food - every little bit of money that is saved can help! Feeding America has a tool to help you find local food banks. There is no shame in utilizing a food bank when you need it. They exist for people who are in tough situations and you definitely qualify for that!

I hope some of these things will lead you to more support and financial assistance!

Take care,

Amy Goyer, AARP Family & Caregiving Expert

Author, Juggling Life, Work and Caregiving

👣 1 Step At A Time!

Therapist4u

Community Champion ⭐

Hi Nicole! 😀

You mean like this kind of EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER😄

EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER LOL!

LOL!🙃🤣

Take care! 🍂🍁🍂☮️ ~Allen 🌈 🍂🍁🍂

1 comment (Saturday 11/11/23)

Thanks Marcy @MarcyW882921 💙💙💙

Lol, I got OFF the Rollercoaster and STAYED OFF when I got up to make my MUCH NEEDED coffee. ☕

I am now getting ready to RETURN to my bed (stayed out of it ALL DAY 💃💃💃).

Girl, that is my SLEEP AID/lol 😂🤣

Gertrude is a HOT MESS!!! 😎

It is a series of audiobooks the author is sharing. GRATEFUL 🙃

SO GOOD hearing from you. Hey, kitchen finished? 🤔

Luv you,

Nicole 🤗

✏@MarcyW882921 wrote:
Nicole @SummerOnTheWay1 ,

I'm sorry about your roller coaster day. I hope there were at least more ups than downs. Why not listen to that book that excites you any time you want? When you are retired you have so much more flexibility in the timing of things you like to do!

Marcy✏

Community Champion ⭐⭐

Nicole @SummerOnTheWay1 ,

I'm glad you got off the roller coaster and stayed out of bed today! Sometimes it's fun to read about someone else who is a hot mess to take your mind off what you might be feeling.

The kitchen remodeling is done and I am waiting for a table. I didn't think I needed one, but someone who has been helping me with the project felt it was needed. The delivery was delayed and I was finally able to schedule it for next Saturday. I have reservations, but hope it works out the way this person envisioned it. 🤨

Marcy