🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

📎 Group Discussion: Those DREAMS!!! Do you try to UNDERSTAND them? I know in the past Marcy @MarcyW882921 had mentioned her husband interpreting them. Anyone have a comment?

📎 Lol, for awhile it was like EVERY NIGHT I had one and WOKE UP SAD.

Then life gave me a BREAK of a few days. 🙄🙄🙄

So, LAST NIGHT (yes, had one) and although I got up SAD decided I would TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHY it happened.

[1] Could a luv one is trying to communicate?

[2] Or life is TRYING to comfort and/or warn me.

*** Number 2 - comfort. While I was SAD an old and dear friend from High School back in Jamaica West, Indies (later ran into in Miami, Florida when I was married) was in it - what he did in the dream REMINDED ME someone did/does CARE. ***

Of late here in Virginia, it has been a CONSTANT AVOIDING DRAMA and it takes a beating on your SOUL.

So LIFE, I have NO idea IF Breeder (his pet name from school, lol) is STILL ALIVE but please THANK HIM wherever he is. 🤗🤗🤗

MkK700720

Contributor ⭐⭐⭐

I'm sorry you're going through that Nicole. Seems people are under so much stress these days. Watching movies on TV is a good stress reliever. Lots of good series on Roku.

📎 Guys please keep our Julie @JulieT507376 in YOUR THOUGHTS!!!

She has been SO STRONG with her 1st anniversary of losing Mark drawing NEAR (December 4th). 😭😭😭

NOW she is dealing with WORRY over dear sweet Sadie who hurt her paw while spending Thanksgiving with family.

Julie could NOT get any Medical Care for her YESTERDAY, but hoping TODAY before heading back home.

To some, Sadie is just a dog.

To Julie, this sweet girl was Mark's and STILL IS!!! 🤗🤗🤗

MkK700720

Contributor ⭐⭐⭐

Hope Julie's Sadie is feeling better.

📎 Cadee @Cadee2719 , did you look into a generator or do you or your Son have a FIREPLACE? 🤗🤗🤗

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Cadee2719

Community Champion ⭐

Hi Yes I got a generator and my son and I both have fireplaces. No snow yet! Fog today. Made peanut brittle yesterday for you. My rheumatologist called and moved my appointment up to January to discuss the results of the ultrasound. My brother is coming to spend time with me at Christmas, his wife is staying home with the dogs. I am excited as it will be the first Christmas together in about 30 years! My son will pick him up and bring him to my home. After the holidays are over my brother has to go to Utah to have the iris in his eye replaced. I spent the morning arranging to have flowers delivered to my husband and son's grave on a regular basis. It was sad in a way, but I am the only one that sends flowers to their graves each year. Well I better start my English Toffee bars so I can ship them off to you. My tree is up, my house is decorated (first time since the deaths of my son and husband) so I am getting ready for Christmas. ❤️

Community Champion ⭐⭐

Cadee @Cadee2719 ,

This all sounds encouraging. You are making traditional holiday treats, decorating, and have plans to be with family at Christmas. I'm very happy for you!

Marcy

Community Champion ⭐⭐

Just a 3 mos. follow up with primary and blood sugar check..Still waiting for appt. for abdomen scan and it's up in the air as far as gastreologist as the pain has gone away so it could have been something else..It's a wait and see attitude..I am trying to cut medical appts out of my life as at this stage of life its a hassle and invasion of body that I don't care to go through anymore..I just want to enjoy the holidays without appts...

C

Cadee2719

Community Champion ⭐

I agree with you. I have worked hard to get all these appointments but I have two more to go!

Results to discuss with the rheumatologist and first visit to the family doctor for my diabetes, mammogram, acid reflux. From the paperwork she sent me I guess she has a lot of other tests lined up for me. I will complete them all and hopefully be able to settle in and not have further visits for awhile. It is good for me to get an update on my medical conditions since I have not seen a doctor since March. I can't complain, just turned 81 and I'm still kicking.

Community Champion ⭐⭐

Two things camd to mind something that I ate (with all the warnings of things that tainted food brings on and posture I find that sometimes I slouch especially at the computer as the desk chair seat is uncomfortable the seet goes too far back for my short statue...So I am trying to stay in tune with my body what goes into it and what affects it like a poor mattress , sleeping positions etc..We know more about our auto's than our own bodies/

Community Champion ⭐⭐

Jonibee @jonibee ,

Ha I can identify with the short stature and desk chair seats being too deep. I have a back pillow from Relax the Back that I use in my desk chair. It was a bit pricey as things are from that store, but I have gotten a lot of use from it for several years. Being in tune with our bodies and caring for them the best way we know how is a good thing.

Marcy

Community Champion ⭐⭐

Thank You for the tip...I believe that because of the way I sit in this chair I may slouch forward and it causes stress on the back ..so I will look into it...I did order a back pillow rest but it's too short so the hunt is on...

📎 I tell you, WE need to open up a Hospital & Mechanic Shop./lol 🤣😂

Guess where my old lady is? Yes, went out to head to Walmart this morning - check engine light on. 🙄

Jonibee @jonibee & Cadee @Cadee2719 , time to feel BETTER my friends.

*** They say what does not kill us makes us stronger. So I guess WE are getting STRONGER. 👍👍👍

😴 Everyone, try to get some sleep tonight at your bedtime. 🤗🤗🤗

Community Champion ⭐⭐

Why do these things always happen when money is tight especially around the holiday time..I don't drive anymore but can feel your pain in having to cough up the $$ should something be amiss..I just had to order Oil so that puts a bite on the buck....Another day another dollar...

📎 [2/8/25] Yes Jonibee @jonibee , I finally made it through January with NO CAR ISSUES. Lol, geez - told my mechanic something had to change. Hope you are hanging in there.

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

📎 Dear Julie @JulieT507376 !!!

You have been with us 10 months and I have watched you blossom with determination to keep busy.

Hats off to you my dear friend as you ARRIVE at your DESTINATION (tomorrow).

A day WE all have DREADED (our 1st anniversary).

Some leave after this arrival, STRONGER and knowing IF needed, they are ALWAYS WELCOME BACK.

While I HOPE you continue to be a part of our group, I will understand that it is time to say goodbye.

Goodness, Sadie 🐕 has ADDED SO MUCH to my life and Mister's 🐈.

How is your sweet girl doing? Still limping?

And how are you doing Ms. Busier than I am?

Cookies all ready for tomorrow?

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

J

JulieT507376

Contributor ⭐⭐

Cookies are done and the neighbor ladies are excited to come and bring their special cookies. They all know what the day is and yet are willing to support me by letting me celebrate Mark. It was hard deciding what cookie to make Mark. He was so easy to bake for! He loved everything I made for him.❤️ I’m taking day by day now. I need to start thinking about his clothes. Maybe in the spring. For now I continue to get comfort knowing they are where they belong. It is

definitely a process. One that is felt with every breath I take.
BTW…The eagle is still at my house sitting in trees or on the poles. It gives me great peace.

Thank you everyone for your support! It’s has been calming and healing at times when I’ve really needed it.

Community Champion ⭐⭐

Julie @JulieT507376 ,

Your cookies look great! It's terrific that you made a decision to celebrate Mark and are following it through. You know best what is in your heart and you have the eagle nearby to give you peace.

Marcy

📎 December 4, 2024.

Good Morning ALL!!!

I wanted to say a BIG THANK YOU for all the support you guys have had for OUR GROUP.

With Julie @JulieT507376 & Sadie 🐕 all packed up, one more STRONGER griever READY to face what life has in store for HER. 👍

Wishing OUR dear sweet Julie & Sadie 🐕 all the best - the tears are flowing.

WE ALL HAVE SEASONS in our lives and mine has changed. Plan on "stepping away" until February 2025. I will be back!!! 🙃

I didnot want to disappear without explaining.

Cadee @Cadee2719 , I will keep an eye out for those DELICIOUS baked goods you are sending me. This touches my insides dear friend.

*** Everyone should have my email address & mailing address to stay in contact. ***

Luv,

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗 (Grief Forum)

Community Champion ⭐⭐

Nicole @SummerOnTheWay1 ,

I understand seasons in our lives and how they change. You have been a constant champion for all of us grievers and I know I am truly grateful for all the support and caring you have shown to me! You will be sorely missed by those of us who know you and by those who will miss the opportunity to be touched by your kindness.

🤗🤗🤗

Marcy

C

Cadee2719

Community Champion ⭐

Just wanted to wish everyone here a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and a Happy New Year. 🎄♥️

S

sfsmith56

Contributor ⭐⭐

Hello:

My name is Shirley. I have losses my entire family of origin plus many cousins, aunts, and uncles. I finally took the time to write about loss. How it affects us. Ways to get through grief: remembering family, having community, and participating with others in meaningful events. As I wrote my book: "Life After Death" Resilience, Identity, and Revelations During Grief and After Loss, I was able to experience much healing. I hope it is helpful to others as well: https://a.co/d/59fEYkY

jimbohretired

Contributor ⭐⭐

L Hi Shirley will look up your book. Here is my story probably not much different then anyone else who has lost a loved one. I hope this will help someone.

I never experienced a significant loss until my wife passed. I had moved away from my parents many years past. I spent 3 years in the military in Germany after high school and 4 years in college. I was the youngest of 6 children - was an afterthought as there was 7 years between me and my closest sibling. When I came back from Germany I (within a year) married a former high school classmate that I had been corresponding with for 14 months. I actually had know her since the 2nd grade - we were in many classes together and also went to the same small church and participated in groups together. She of course was the love of my life - we had 53 great years together and we have 3 children.I communicate with all of hem regularly and I talk with our oldest boy for close to an hour early every morning while I am biking (He works after 9am every day)

I make efforts to be with other people. I have started a get together with friends on my street every couple of weeks, I go to a very social circuit training class 3X per week and volunteer with a group of men to do maintenance at my church every thursday.

Anyhow as I was much younger than my siblings I pretty much had no close relationship with any of them. They all had their own families and were living their lives by the time I graduated from School and after 3 years in the military I had to begin getting to know them all over again.

I remember one instance when I was living in Mpls. with my wife and children- 3 of the siblings got together 2 in town and one from several hundred miles away. I remember my mom in a phone call asking me did I have a good time with my brothers and sister - When I told her i did not know about the gathering she was horrified - My response was Mom there is no reason they would have even thought of me as I had minimal contact with them over the years.

Anyhow that has now changed and we all get together at least once a year. I actually now spend time with my Brother's very frail widow every week just to talk and have a meal .

Anyhow to end this my wife died 3 years past at Christmas and the wound is till there and probably will never completely heal. I pretty much was her caregiver starting in late 2014 when her kidneys failed that followed with two strokes broken shoulders and a hip replacement. She received a new kidney July of 2015 ( I donated a kidney that summer not to her but to someone else - because of that she got a kidney about a week before she would have been on dialysis.

Anyhow that is my story and I still feel the loss. I suspect that feeling will never go away. At this point I have no interest in finding another partner (but wonder if I should)

.