Community Manager

Expert Series: Managing Stress & Anxiety: Q&A with Dr. Barry Jacobs and Dr. Julie Mayer, Live!

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Living through these unprecedented times is strange, stressful, anxiety-inducing, scary and sad.

Clinical psychologists Barry Jacobs and Julie Mayer will answer your questions on how to cope with the major life change, anxiety and sadness we are all facing these days.

What questions would you like them to answer? What advice do you need to better manage your stress and anxiety?

We will answer your questions on the AARP Rewards Connect page later this month and during live Q&A sessions on May 20, 3 to 5 p.m., and May 27, 3 to 5 p.m

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DrBarryJJacobs

Contributor ⭐⭐

Hi Everyone,

I'm Barry Jacobs, a clinical psychologist, healthcare consultant and a long-time contributor of family caregiving articles to AARP.org. Many people are stressed out nowadays because of the ways that this pandemic has affected all of our lives. What has been most difficult for me and many others is the uncertainty of this situation. No one has a crystal ball and can predict exactly what is going to happen. So we all live in a kind of limbo that can be very uncomfortable.

How stressful has this national health crisis been for you? What do you do to deal with the stress that you are experiencing? I'd love to hear your thoughts and questions. Take care, Barry

G

gdestefano

Contributor ⭐

How can one manage stress and anxiety during these Covid times when it causes insomnia? What are effective ways to deal with insomnia?

DrBarryJJacobs

Contributor ⭐⭐

Hi G. Stefano, @gdestefano

Insomnia can be pretty bad.. I know; I suffer from it at times. As you probably know, it can be caused by many different things--worry, pain, other physical discomfort or even indigestion. Some people have insomnia from a serious medical condition known as obstructive sleep apnea for which they should seek medical care.

For those who can't sleep because their minds of full of worries and they can't turn off their thoughts, I always recommend a simple exercise: Go to sleep and wake up the same times every day. Prevent yourself from napping during the day. About a half hour before you go to sleep, write all your thoughts and worries in a notebook or in a computer file for about 15 minutes. Then close the notebook or file for the night. Don't allow yourself to look at it again until the next morning. (You may never want to look at it again!) This is a way of depositing your thoughts for the night in a safe place that you can retrieve later. This seems to help many people empty their minds and then get a better night's sleep.

I hope this helps! You may also want to look up "sleep hygiene" on the Internet to learn about other simple ways of maximizing your sleep. Good luck!--Barry

C

CindyH280561

Contributor ⭐

Im working with behaviors and everyday it seems to have negativity don't know if it is from not going outside or keeping these forty people trapped in side and with no visitors and no money ? or is it a spirit possesesing our building we get their in building and seems everyone gets sick from wearing mask or is in a bad mood oe is this both? everyone can

t wait to get out of there clients and workers

DrBarryJJacobs

Contributor ⭐⭐

Hi @CindyH280561,

It sounds like you and everyone in your building is having a tough time. I can understand that. Having to shelter in place is very stressful! I share your hope that the need to stay home will end soon.

In the meantime, I don't know about your building being possessed by spirits. I just think this is an extremely difficult situation that is testing all of us. How will we do with this test? Can we rally our best patience and energies to hang in there the best we can? While it is understandable to be grumpy at times, it doesn't usually help matters. Instead, being grumpy around others usually makes them grumpy, too. (You know, misery loves company.) The opposite is true, though. If you can maintain your ability to be as pleasant and hopeful as possible, then that will rub off on others, too. If you are cheerful enough, then you might make your whole building feel better!

This crisis will end. We will go back out into the world. We will look back on this time as one of the most difficult we have faced. I hope you can look back on your time during the pandemic and feel proud of the way you managed and the kindness you showed others. I think that's what we all want for ourselves. Take care and stay well, Barry

V

vwang3414

Contributor ⭐

Stress from being a caregiver for someone with mental disturbances

DrJulie

Contributor ⭐⭐

To VWang3414, @vwang3414

Being a caregiver is full of challenges. Caregiving someone with mental health problems can be especially challenging. Try to appreciate the hard work you are doing and feel going about the efforts you are making. That said, you sound like you could use support and relief. Caregiving is a marathon, not a sprint. Hearing about how others are coping with caregiving can be helpful. Check out AARP's caregiver support resources. Reach out to your religious leaders if you participate. Friends and family can help too. Asking for help is a first step. Try to find ways to take some time for yourself to do some self-care. Hopefully, your burden will feel a little less strenuous.

Julie

O

ohiospeedmonkey

Contributor ⭐

I've just gone thru a painful divorce after 25 years of marriage, I had to move in with my son in another state because I could no longer afford to live on my own, I ended up with a very part-time job that, along with my social security check, isn't enough to keep me alive....I was furloughed because it was restaurant/retail and surviving on unemployment. I am a high risk for this virus and have kept myself pretty isolated since mid-March when I was laid off. Now, they are wanting me to return to work and I'm scared to death. I don't want to lose my unemployment but how do I go back and keep myself safe? I believe they are letting us wear masks (I don't even have one and no way to sew one for myself). Are they obligated to provide me with the safety materials I need to keep from getting sick? To say I am depressed, worried and scared are understatements. So much has happened to me in the last 6 months that it's all I can do to get out of bed in the morning. I so much want life to return to "normal" (whatever that is) and move on with what's left of my life. I don't know how to be happy anymore and I haven't for a really long time. 😔😔

DrJulie

Contributor ⭐⭐

To @ohiospeedmonkey

You have been through a lot of big changes in a short time. I'm sorry that your divorce was painful. I'm sure it will be a while before you fully adjust to your new life. Be patient with yourself. Recovering from divorce can take a long time. I've spoken to many people who are struggling with how to go back to work comfortably. I'm glad to hear that you can wear masks at your place of employment. Some employers provide them. If you have none, you can wear a bandana or scarf until you can get some masks. You sound like you might be experiencing some depression as you adjust to the changes in your life and your return to work. You might speak to your PCP to get evaluated for depression. Having a schedule by returning to work may also help you to get out of bed more easily. I hope it does. Maybe interacting with people will also help lift your spirits. I wish you all the best.

Julie

WebWiseWoman

Community Champion ⭐⭐⭐

#StaySafe

Done with this "new" and "improved"... kinda like dotard improved America...

DrJulie

Contributor ⭐⭐

@WebWiseWoman,
I totally agree with your stay safe sentiment!
Julie

T

tommyk628

Contributor ⭐

I'm live in NEW YORK CITY (STATEN IS LAND) thru all this covid19 iiv lost 3friends to it and haven't been able to see my grandchildren since the start.FaceTime is good but doesn't replace the hugs.I worry is my life ever going to get back to normal .seems to me the new attitude is the old people are going to have to deal with this.I try to stay positive thru yoga and exercise reading and not watching to much need but it is overwhelming.

AARPTeriAuthor

Community Manager

Thanks for your post Dr. Barry & Dr. Julie will be answering your posts soon - stay tuned!

DrJulie

Contributor ⭐⭐

Hi Everyone,

I'm Dr. Julie Mayer, a psychologist who specializes in relationship issues. I've been working with a lot of people who are having a hard time with Covid related issues in their lives. I'll do my best to answer your questions today.

D

deju0725

Contributor ⭐

I live in Dallas, TX, I have been taking care of a good friend who has some mental health issues. He has panic attacks, worst I've seen. Having them myself, tho controlled, I can relate. He is bipolor and borderline personality disorder. He is going to a "Metrocare" Dr. but meds is all she can do. The clinic has him scheduled for a therapist but it has been several months, so I was wondering if you know the name of a good holistic therapist in my area. I have been searching but with him not working or on any government program, it is hard. I look forward to your Q & A.

L

laffytaffy77541

Contributor ⭐

I live in little old Freeport, Tx. I listen to Dr. Phil a lot. His Son has an online web site called, "Dr. On Demand."
He just said on yesterday's program to just go online and type in "Dr. On Demand" in the URL at the top of your screen. Hey, it's worth a try. And if they cannot help, I bet they know who can help you. He made a
believer out of me. Good luck.

Laura E. Taff

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