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Medical power of Attorney

My parents gave me POA years ago now my mother has cancer and my siblings hate me for having POA my sister wants to take my mother to live with her in phnx while my mother was only given 6months to live and my sister has never been there for any of my parents what can I do 

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AARP Expert

I appreciate the comments that others have made. Siblings can't override a parent's wishes that have codified in a POA or living will. That said, you haven't provided information about whether your mother is currently competent to speak for herself (even if her lifespan is very limited). The POA or living will only become pertinent in the event that the person is cognitively incapable of expressing her wishes. Can your mother express her choice about where she wants to live? If so and she would prefer to stay where she is, then can she ask your sister to back off?--Barry Jacobs, co-author of AARP Meditations for Caregivers

Periodic Contributor

I think my siblings hate me for having POA also. Why doesn't your sister stay in a residential motel for a few months or sublet an apartment. If your mother doesn't want to go, she shouldn't be forced to.

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Honored Social Butterfly

@l947443g - What does your mother want? If you've already told your siblings & other close family members about your mother's medical status, you could formally invite them to come visit her. Make it very clear that at this point, it would be painful & disruptive for her to be moved, not to mention that all of her medical support team are at her current location. Remind them that all decisions are being made for HER benefit (and not anyone else's).


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Why are there so many views, but not many people who are responding?
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Honored Social Butterfly


gazellen5 wrote:
"...Why are there so many views, but not many people who are responding?...".

How many people viewing this, do you think, have something worthwhile to contribute? Family dynamics are so complicated. I'm certainly not going to put my two-cents in unless I've had a very similar situation. I've had POA, and exercised it, but no inter-family squabbles. Everyone in the family lives within an hour of one another.


"...Why is everyone a victim? Take personal responsibility for your life..."
Honored Social Butterfly

@gazellen5 - Good question, but a very typical situation. I always think of this as a community where we can share our experiences, but some people must view it like a magazine where they just read what other people are going thru.


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@ASTRAEA wrote:

@l947443g - What does your mother want? If you've already told your siblings & other close family members about your mother's medical status, you could formally invite them to come visit her. Make it very clear that at this point, it would be painful & disruptive for her to be moved, not to mention that all of her medical support team are at her current location. Remind them that all decisions are being made for HER benefit (and not anyone else's).


Very good point.  I have made my own decisions and the person who has accepted responsibility must honor those wishes or they should not have accepted the responsibility.  Do not change things now!!!

Life's a Journey, not a Destination" Aerosmith
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