TV show over and over

[JamesY521601]

I am a caregiver (m, 49) for my dad (82), who has rectal cancer. He watches the same show over and over again at night and it drives me crazy, and it makes me angry when he talk about it and looks forward to it. 

Is this a just reaction? Has anyone been through this? 

I feel trapped and maybe watching this over and over makes me feel it more, idk.  We've seen these episodes dozens of times, he doesn't even really follow them but he likes them. 

[AmeliaR345812]

My brother does this also.  He now has a TV in his room, that he needs help with the remote to get to his show.  He watches "House" over and over, from episode 1 all the way to the end and then goes back to the beginning.  At night, he comes and sits with us and watches what we are watching.  He is OK with that.

[nctarheel]

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@JamesY521601 wrote:

I am a caregiver (m, 49) for my dad (82), who has rectal cancer. He watches the same show over and over again at night and it drives me crazy, and it makes me angry when he talk about it and looks forward to it. 

@JamesY521601,

This is not a time to think about yourself.

Think of the joy he receives from seeing these shows over and over. For some reason, it is a positive in an otherwise negative situation in which he finds himself. Heck, I watch SEINFELD episodes over and over because I find them funny no matter HOW MANY TIMES I watch them.

Your father is obviously in the twilight of his life's journey, so make that journey comfortable not stressful....for either you or him.

[JamesY521601]

I am not thinking of myself.  I cook all his meals, wash him,  take him to the doctor, manage his medications, take care of his livestock. I hand shoveled his 100 foot driveway and hurt my already disabled back.

I don't like being upset, I was trying to find someone who understood or could offer me some insight besides "you're being selfish". Thanks for increasing my guilt

[MichelleF556727]

dont feel quilty.  i can't stand to hear the way my mother chews her food.  it really disturbs me.  so i find other things to concentrate on other than her chewing.  a suggestion might be to get him his own tv, with earphones, if it's in the same space that you are in.  Or maybe that would work for you better.  Tune it out.  Distract your mind as you are probably better to handle multiple inputs inside of Dad.  It's different for everyone, so try different things.  Also, talk to a trusted and confidential friend that you can "vent" too.  They know you love your dad, otherwise you wouldn't be caregiver for him, so find a safe space to allow the feelings at the moment surface, say it, and continue to move forward.  Be patient with yourself as well.  Being a parent to our parents is not easy.  Think back to how you were as a child.  Be encouraged and enjoy the time you have together for it's always never enough.  Blessings.

[nctarheel]

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@JamesY521601 wrote:

I am not thinking of myself.  I cook all his meals, wash him,  take him to the doctor, manage his medications, take care of his livestock. I hand shoveled his 100 foot driveway and hurt my already disabled back.

I don't like being upset, I was trying to find someone who understood or could offer me some insight besides "you're being selfish". Thanks for increasing my guilt

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@JamesY521601,

At no point did I even think about increasing your guilt or calling you selfish.

My point was that this "self imposed" stress about him watching reruns is a frustrating LITTLE THING that could be affecting your health while you are doing so many BIG THINGS for your dad.

Not all children are as concerned for their parent as you are and you should be commended for it. You make his quality of life so much better in these twilight years.

At 82, I doubt if he will change his behavior, so, not being a health professional, I would suggest you seek a professional to help you deal with these feelings.

[DanielleG877308]

@JamesY521601 @you are not being selfish at all. Ignore the previous commenter as they clearly don’t understand that this is a support group. 

I can relate to your frustration, and I think sometimes it’s the small things like tv reruns that can frustrate us the most. After all, as caregivers we take care of the big things because that’s what we expect to do (like managing medical appointments). I think the small things frustrate us because it’s not what we expected as caregivers, and it means we have to put up with frustrating behaviors when we’re already sacrificing a lot. For instance, I get really upset with my elderly Dad because he takes my things without asking. That’s not something I expected when I took on the responsibility of caring for him. To some degree he can’t help it because of his condition, but that doesn’t make it any less frustrating for me when my things disappear.

Please hang in there and remember how much good you are doing by taking care of your dad. It’s only human to get frustrated by these things, and you are definitely not alone.