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75 year elderly mother-in-law affecting our mental, physical and finical health


75 year elderly mother-in-law affecting our mental, physical and finical health

This is my first effort to ask for outside help and I will try to paint as accurate a picture as I can. I've been with my partner for 4 years and caring for her mother for 3 years. Her mother, I'll call her Mrs. D, has a long history of being manipulative and irresponsible to things with family matters, financial decisions and poor lifestyle choices. Examples would be from ignoring and abandoning family in need when she was still an abled body, despite pleas for help. She's abused past marriages for finical gains until they leave because of her behavior, or become terminally ill. We are now on that same boat with Mrs. D's past partners with disregard to our finances and resources being consumed. In addition, the whole purpose of moving away from our previous stable situations was to try to help her with a better lifestyle and taking prescription medication as instructed, to help her get better. Our efforts will repeatedly be ignored and Mrs. D will use any method is convenient for herself. Leaving us with the bag, even if that means putting us in debt and we've tried to reason with living with less and making sacrifices, but will still continue to refuse to cooperate. Her health has started to effect her starting from her late 20s to early 30s and has progressively gotten worse. Partly from her poor lifestyle and the other from having unnecessary procedures done that is now impacting her health. She is in a lot of pain now and that really can't be argued, but uses her condition to placate bad situations when people get fed up with her behavior to get doctors and family members to feel bad to get what she wants. What that means is she will use up her funds and try to garner sympathy to have others to give her what she needs support her habits. The other thing will be what is called drug seeking for pain medicine, but will ignore the medication that will help with preventative measures, like nausea. An average week of hospital visits is about 5 to 10 times. She visits 4 different facilities to the point most staff know her by name and have been warned multiple times to stop coming for the same problem. (which is nausea) Many attempts were made for new medical procedures and operations to be done to alleviates her nausea, but has cancelled nearly every one the past 3 years. Sometimes the day of the procedure, which also has been extremely frustrating and a waste of recourses. Also recently has been warned by her primary that she will but cut off all pain medication if she continues to abuse refills and if he finds other preventatives are not found in her system. She has been advised after an evaluation she shouldn't be driving under her heavy medication, but feel our hands are tied. So what is happening with me and my partner is we moved in a situation we are unable to get out of, cause all of our resources and two incomes are being spent to support her needs on top of her income that gets exhausted every month. Leaving us with little to no funds to save, so we can move out. That's pretty much is what we want at this point is to leave. We feel stuck and is horrible as well particularly my partner has diagnosed CHF and may have COPD but is yet to be determined, but has been hospitalized 3 times since we moved in with her mother. Due to the high stress environment and arguments that arise. My partner has tried to ask to be put out of work, but unsuccessful by her primary. Her mother is also cared for by the same doctor and will not allow conservatorship despite explaining our situation and her being on pain, anti-anxiety and anti-psyche medications long term that induce dementia like symptoms. We have tried to explore all the avenues, including therapy, which doesn't help getting through to her behavior. I do wonder if there is still any resource to help us on what to do next, or perhaps get some help so we're not being dragged down with her.
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