AARP Eye Center
Charles Schulz Philosophy
The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you'll get the point.
- Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
- Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
- Name the last five winners of the Miss America.
- Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
- Name the last half dozen Academy Award winner for best actor and actress.
- Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.
How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.
Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:
- List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
- Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
- Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
- Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
- Think of five people you enjoy spendingtime with.
Easier?
The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." (Charles Schulz)
A dog walked in to the telegram office one day. He took out a blank form and wrote on it:
"Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."
Then he handed it to the clerk. The clerk examined the paper and said to the dog, "You know there are only nine words here? You could send another 'Woof' for the same price."
The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!"
Why 4 FEET 8.5 Inches is Very Important
Fascinating Stuff . . .
Railroad Tracks
The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.
That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used?
Because that's the way they built them in England,
and English expatriates designed the U.S. Railroads.
Why did the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.
Why did 'they' use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used
for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Why did the wagons have that particular Odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So, who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match
for fear of destroying their wagon wheels.
Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome,
they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
Therefore, the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches
is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.
In other words, bureaucracies live forever.
So the next time you are handed a specification, procedure, or process, and wonder,
'What horse's ass came up with this?', you may be exactly right.
Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough
to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses.
Now, the twist to the story:
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad,
you will notice that there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs.
The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah.
The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit larger,
but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.
The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains
and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel.
The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know,
is about as wide as two horses' behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature
of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system
was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.
And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important!
Now you know, Horses' Asses control almost everything.
Explains a whole lot of stuff, doesn't it?
The left lane on a multi lane highway is called the โpassing laneโ for a reason.
Old Farmer's Advice:
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered... not yelled.
Meanness don't just happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about, ain't never gonna happen anyway.
Don't judge folks by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good and honorable life, then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
Don't interfere with something' that ain't bothering you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every morning'.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
If you get to thinking' you're a person of some influence, try ordering' somebody else's dog around.
Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, and enjoy the ride.
Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just shoot you!
.
Reverend Ole was the pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church, and Pastor Sven was the minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the road.
I saw them yesterday standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground, that reads:
"Da End iss Near!
Turn Yourself Aroundt Now!
Before It's Too Late!"
As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and yelled, "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!"
From the curve we heard screeching tires and a big splash...
Rev. Ole turns to Pastor Sven and asks, "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust say 'Da Bridge is Out'?" ๐
I found this interesting article on the Next Avenue website. It bodes the question of just what makes us retire and/or if we're just too pooped to participate.
Downshifting From a Life in Overdrive:
Do we slow down because we retire? Or do we retire because we slow down?
By Jill Smolowe April 29, 2019
Credit: Michael Coghlan | Flickr
Do you think that when we slow down, itโs because weโre aging or because the nature of retired life demands less of us?
I ask because, as I near 64, I look with a mix of wonder and bewilderment at the politicians, judges and entertainers who are more than a decade older than I and going full-tilt at their careers. Where do they get their energy? Are they aberrations? Or do their demanding jobs keep them young?
I ask because, as I approach retirement, I see indications of slow-down. I canโt tell if what Iโm experiencing (common things like short-term memory loss, diminishing energy reserves, earlier bedtime) is a natural byproduct of aging or if itโs the unintended side effect of stepping away from the fast-paced life of a demanding job.
Am I, in other words, slowing down because Iโm moving toward retirement? Or am I moving toward retirement because Iโm slowing down?
Itโs not that I canโt stay at my desk and crank out copy when an editor needs it. (Nothing like a deadline to focus your attention and energy.) But most days there are no deadlines beyond those I impose on my own writing projects. Unlike decades past, when nothing less than three to four hours of concentrated writing would satisfy me, I now feel sated after two hours of dedicated writing. Some days, I feel pretty drained, actually.
Is that because Iโve lost the habit of putting in long hours? If so, am I my own co-conspirator in my aging process, allowing changing habits to hasten the process? Or is this slow-down driven by biology, a natural part of the aging process thatโs demanding I slow my pace, whether I like it or not?
Certainly, my disinclination to put in long hours โ let alone late hours โ supports my sense that I would not relish a full-time workload at this point in my life. I like my less-jammed, roomier schedule. I like having the ability to choose what kinds of work, paid or volunteer, I take on. I likehaving the opportunity to explore activities that I havenโt investigated before.
I donโt, however, like days when I have little on my calendar.
Granted, many of these are weekend days, but given the absence of a regular workweek, it makes little difference to me if itโs a Tuesday or a Sunday. Where once such an abundance of unstructured time would have filled me with joy, now it sometimes drags on me โ a weight that makes me wonder if, by leaving the regular workforce, Iโm accelerating my aging.
A Checklist of InterestsCertainly, Iโve made efforts to fill the expanded free time with worthwhile and satisfying endeavors. In addition to getting certified as a life coach in order to launch a post-retirement, part-time career as a grief and divorce coach, Iโve been proactive about developing the sorts of interests that retirees are encouraged to explore.
Volunteer work? Check. (Iโm a crisis counselor on the Crisis Text Line, a 24/7 hotline that offers support to people of all ages in all 50 states.)
Exercise? Check. (I attend Pilates classes four, sometimes five times a week. I think Iโm actually more fit now than I was in my thirties when I was lucky if I could squeeze in a lunchtime yoga class once a week.)
Creative activity? Check. (Took a drawing class. Not my cup of creativity. It probably didnโt help that my drawings looked worthy of a fourth grader. I also dove into coloring for several months. Not quite sure why Iโve let that one slide. Maybe I tired of all those mandalas.)
Soul enrichment? Check. (Been meditating for two years now. More days than not, I put in 15 minutes on the proverbial cushion; once a week, I participate in an hour-long sit with a group.)
Friends? Check. (In addition to maintaining old relationships, Iโve nurtured new ones, among them my meditation and Pilates buddies.)
Grandchildren? (Not yet, and none in sight. But my husband and I did get a puppy recently. Very entertaining. The dog, that is; not the pee and poop accidents.)
All of this is supplemented by activities that I hope will help keep my brain cells active and healthy. I listen to lots of thoughtful podcasts (a substitute, of sorts, for the interesting office conversations about international and domestic issues I used to enjoy with fellow journalists). I play a few online games that challenge my speed, logic and vocabulary. (Also, hey, theyโre fun.)
And I read. A lot. Novels. Memoirs. Nonfiction. As for my news diet, I swear I consume more newspaper, magazine and online articles now than I did when I was a working journalist. Iโd like to believe the time Iโm putting in is not only well invested, but a reflection of the times weโre living in. (All the truths I held to be self-evident while earning a BA in politics back in the โ70s are now being tested so rigorously that I sometimes feel like Iโm earning another degree, this time at the Ph.D level.)
The Value of โIntentional IdlenessโBut then I remember a friendโs father from childhood days, one who seemed older than most of the other dads. Didnโt matter what time of day I showed up to play with my friend, there was her father, reading The New York Times in the living room. I remember thinking: Doesnโt he have anything else to do?
Donโt I?
I ask because, as I move closer to retirement, I look at those septuagenarian and octogenarian politicians, judges and entertainers, and I wonder: Are they doing it right? Am I doing it wrong? Did The Beatles throw down a false marker on this โwhen Iโm 64โ business?
Then I think about what those eldersโ days must be. All that running around. All that doing what theyโve been doing for the last several decades. Do I really want to keep tilting in the same direction I always have? Whereโs the learning curve in that?
I have a meditation friend who speaks of โintentional idleness.โ He encourages people to let go of so much busyness and slow the pace. Only when weโre not rushing through our days, he says, can we create space for the new to arise.
I like the sound of that.
Repost I believe!
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