Content starts here
CLOSE ×

Search

Funny Stories and Life Experiences

Reply
Honored Social Butterfly

Funny Stories and Life Experiences

New topic featuring funny stories. 

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your paradeโ€ฆ
So remember this story the next time โ€ฆ

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
" Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks itโ€™s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked,
and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job,
and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door
and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: โ€œWho screwed up your hair?โ€

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
90,668 Views
515
Report
1 ACCEPTED SOLUTION
Honored Social Butterfly

What about the elk!

FB_IMG_1543281117972.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper

View solution in original post

0
Kudos
3065
Views
29,581 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

72275360_10220082825043561_6934980884219035648_n.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
4,019 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

70879749_1036718710006048_2314703500975538176_n.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
4,135 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

71168468_2750487114974952_2987946449326571520_n.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0
Kudos
1255
Views
4,192 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

71966767_10215794127352975_8189389408013647872_n.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
4,227 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

 

 

Wienermobile" is a series of automobiles shaped like a hot dog on a bun which are used to promote and advertise Oscar Mayer products in the United States. The first version was created in 1936 by Oscar Mayer's nephew, Carl G. Mayer, and variants are still used by the Oscar Mayer company today. Drivers of the Wienermobiles are known as Hotdoggers and often hand out toy whistles shaped as replicas of the Wienermobile, known as Wienerwhistles.

History

The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile has evolved from Carl Mayer's original 1936 vehicle[1] to the vehicles seen on the road today. Although fuel rationing kept the Wienermobile off the road during World War II, in the 1950s Oscar Mayer and the Gerstenslager Company created several new vehicles using a Dodge chassis or a Willys Jeep chassis. One of these models is on display at the Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn, Michigan. These Wienermobiles were piloted by "Little Oscar" (portrayed by George Molchan) who would visit stores, schools, orphanages, and children's hospitals and participate in parades and festivals.

In 1969, new Wienermobiles were built on a Chevrolet motor home chassis and featured Ford Thunderbird taillights. The 1969 vehicle was the first Wienermobile to travel outside the United States. In 1976 Plastic Products, Inc., built a fiberglass and styrofoam model, again on a Chevrolet motor home chassis.

In 1988, Oscar Mayer launched its Hotdogger program, where recent college graduates were hired to drive the Wienermobile through various parts of the nation and abroad. Using a converted Chevrolet van chassis, Stevens Automotive Corporation and noted industrial designer Brooks Stevens built a fleet of six Wienermobiles for the new team of Hotdoggers.

With the 1995 version, the Wienermobile grew in size to 27 feet (8.2 m) long and 11 feet (3.4 m) high.[2] The 2004 version of the Wienermobile includes a voice-activated GPS navigation device, an audio center with a wireless microphone, a horn that plays the Wiener Jingle in 21 different genres from Cajun to Rap to Bossa Nova, according to American Eats, and sports fourth generation Pontiac Firebird taillights.

Following mechanical problems with the Isuzu Elf, Oscar Mayer decided to adopt a larger chassis in order to accommodate an increase in size of the signature wiener running through the middle. While the Wienermobile was not as long as the 1995 version, it was considerably wider and taller. Craftsmen Industries went through numerous overhauls of the truck including a flipped axle and a leveling kit. This version held a record for numerous suspension problems, most leading to the chassis not being able to hold the large weight of the Oscar Mayer Wiener.

In 2004, Oscar Mayer announced a contest whereby customers could win the right to use the Wienermobile for a day. Within a month, the contest had generated over 15,000 entries.

In June 2017 the company introduced several new hot-dog-themed vehicles, including the WienerCycle, WeinerRover and WienerDrone.

This parade favorite was located in Madison, Wisconsin for many years as Oscars Mayer was located her for decades 

 

 

INSPIRING CHILDHOOD NOSTALGIA AND A HEALTHY APPETITE SINCE 1936

wienermobile

Six Wienermobiles tour the United States each year. Theyโ€™re out and about right now. So, keep your eyes peeled! Known by nicknames such as Bunderstruck, SpeedyWeiner, Autobuhn, and DriftDog (you get the idea), each vehicle sits atop a Chevy W4 truck chassis.

But the real magic comes in the form of their easily recognizable, utterly unforgettable custom crafted fiberglass bodies. These sleek dogs represent visions of both sentimentality and longing. What do we mean? Name another vehicle capable of inspiring such intense childhood memories and a healthy appetite at the same timeโ€ฆ

Or, ask any hotdoggerโ€”the official title for the pairs of college graduates that drive and work each Wienermobileโ€”and theyโ€™ll tell you endless stories about the nostalgia people feel when they see a Wienermobile. In fact, the primary job of the Wienermobile and the hotdoggers who drive it are to celebrate memories of bygone days while inspiring new ones.

The Weinermobile proves just as iconic as Tom and Jerry,Nintendo, and Metallica. That said, youโ€™ll find no heavy metal on the Wienermobile. While the horn can play 20 different versions of the Oscar Mayer Wiener Song, including reggae and rap, heavy metal never made the playlist. Sorry, Ozzie.

Wienermobile_OURDOG_plate.jpg
How about a Kudo if you have seen one of these in person!
 
1280px-Wienermobile-NAIAS-2005.jpg72296707_2253928651396547_2858762294148464640_n.jpg
Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
4,214 Views
1
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Yep, I have seen the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile at the Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn, Michigan..

4,090 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Funny-Short-Stories-Hilarious-110 (1).jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
4,152 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

After a Hiker Injured Her Knee, Strangers Took Turns Carrying Her Down the Mountain to Safety

by Andy Simmons
 
She landed on her left leg and then heard a snap.

Coloradoโ€™s grays peak rises 14,278 feet above sea level, high enough that trees canโ€™t grow toward the top, though there are plenty of shrubs, rocks, and boulders. It was in this unforgiving terrain that Bev Wedelstedt was unlucky enough to rupture the anterior cruciate ligament and meniscus in her left knee.

It was August 2018, and ยญWedelstedt, 56, was on her way back down the trail with three friends. A storm was brewing, and they were anxious to get off the mountain. When they ยญapproached a rocky drop of a couple of feet, Wedelยญstedt decided that instead of shimmying down on her buttโ€”the safe way to goโ€”she would leap. She landed on her left leg.

Then she heard the snap.

Every step after that was agony. Before long, she had to stop. As one friend ran down to get help, a number of other hikers, all strangers, attempted to help Wedelstedt down the narrow trail by walking on either side of her to support her weight, but that proved slow and dangerous. One man โ€œwas so close to the ledge I could see rocks tumbling down from where he stepped on them,โ€ Wedelstedt says.

Finally, one hiker, Matt, asked her, โ€œHow do you feel about a firemanโ€™s carry?โ€ Before she knew it, he had lifted her over his shoulder. โ€œNow, Iโ€™m not tiny,โ€ says Wedelstedt, a former college basketball star. Matt clearly couldnโ€™t carry her all the way down by himself. So six hikers and one of her friends took turns carrying her while she tried to make light of a difficult situation: โ€œI told them I wanted to meet a lot of guys, but this isnโ€™t the way I wanted to do it.โ€ Three hours and two rock-strewn miles later, this human conveyor belt finally met the medics, who took Wedelstedt to the hospital.

 

She has mostly recovered from her ill-fated hike, but Wedelstedt knows sheโ€™ll never shake one thing from that day: the memory of the band of strangers who came to her rescue. โ€œIโ€™m still in awe.โ€

 
This article was published in Reader's Digest

 

 
0
Kudos
3298
Views
4,078 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Pardon me.  But I just find this morbidly amusing!

0
Kudos
3297
Views
0 Kudos
4,061 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

71574216_2469030993187021_2016587471613067264_n.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
4,053 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

71828252_1690642091070152_8303003988916174848_n.png.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
4,119 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Facing the passing of a loved one!

49079294_324134554883507_5714172512351289344_o.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0
Kudos
3267
Views
4,075 Views
1
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Dear Dave,

 

Image result for THANK YOU!!!

0 Kudos
4,162 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

The Potato Peeler:

Sean was leaning against the counter in a Dublin bar enjoying a pint of Guinness when in walked his old friend Paddy looking decidedly glum.

โ€œWhatโ€™s the matter with you Patrick?โ€ said Sean. โ€œYouโ€™ve got a face on you like a wet weekend.โ€

โ€œOh, Sean,โ€ he said. โ€œIโ€™ve just been fired from my job in the Fish & Chip shop.โ€

โ€œYouโ€™ve been fired? Now why would they do that to you Patrick? What did you do that was so bad?โ€ Sean enquired.

โ€œOh, I got caught putting my **bleep** in the potato peeler.โ€ Paddy responded.

โ€œOh, Paddy thatโ€™s terrible. What happened to the potato peeler?โ€ Sean naturally enquired.

โ€œOh sheโ€™s been fired too.โ€ Said Paddy looking a little sheepish.

4,206 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

It's a military thing! When I see a Veteran or active duty person I will go over and thank a Brother or Sister for their service. 

 

69539572_10211956120533360_5756682350595407872_n.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
4,208 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

 

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, โ€œFor being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.โ€

 

โ€œOoh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband,โ€ said the wife. The fairy moved her magic wand and โ€“ abracadabra! โ€“ two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.

 

Now it was the husbandโ€™s turn. He thought for a moment and said: โ€œWell, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so, Iโ€™m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than meโ€.

 

The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wishโ€ฆ

 

So the fairy made a circle with her magic wand and "abracadabra!"-- the husband was 92 years old.

 

The moral of this story: Men are ungrateful idiots, Fairies are female!

4,212 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

 

When is the best time to start thinking about your retirement? Before your boss does!

 

* There are numerous advantages in being fifty, just ask any eighty year old!!!

 

* You're over the hill when your back goes out more than you do * You're getting old when there's no question in your mind that there's no question in your mind!

 

Laugh !..
Humour is a powerful antidote to stress. It can be a great way to relieve tension and could be as easy as renting a funny video and watching it at home , or even reading some of the following retirement jokes & quotes!!

 

 

Right now I'm having amnesia and
deja vu at the same time. I think
I've forgotten this before.

 

 

 

Newsflash!

Viagra is now available in
powder form for your tea.
It doesn't enhance sexual
performance but it does stop your
biscuit going soft.

 

If you live to be a 100 you've got it made, very few people die past that age!

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0
Kudos
947
Views
0 Kudos
4,236 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

67910733_2936600069744887_8029731751200817152_n.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
4,289 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Charles Schulz Philosophy
 

 

    The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you'll get the point.

 

  1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
  2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
  3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America.
  4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize. 
  5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winner for best actor and actress.
  6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

 schultz2.jpg

                           

 How did you do?

 

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.


       

 

   Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

  1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
  2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
  3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
  4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
  5. Think of five people you enjoy spendingtime with.

 schultz4.gif

  

 

 Easier?

 

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

 schultz6.jpg

   

 "Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." (Charles Schulz)

 

    schultz7.gif                                                     

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
4,318 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

67170801_2339050442851744_7012757557924069376_n.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
4,491 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

The Stranded Irishman 
Stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, he watched the horizon.
 
He thought to himself, "It's certainly not a ship."
As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft.
 
Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit.
Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet suit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!
 
She walked up to the  stunned Irishman and said to him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a good  cigar?"
 
"Ten  years," replied the amazed Irishman.
 
With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet 
suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter.
 
He took a cigar, slowly lit it, and took a long drag.  "Faith and begorrah," said the castaway...
"Ahh, that is so good! I'd almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!"
 
"And how long has it been since you've had a drop of good Bushmill's Irish Whiskey?" asked the blonde.
 
Trembling, the castaway replied, "Ten years."
  
Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there
and removed a flask and handed it to him.
 
He opened the flask and took a long drink. "'Tis nectar of the gods!" shouted the Irishman. "
'Tis truly fantastic!!!"
 
At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle.
She looked at the trembling man and asked, "And how long has it been since you've played around?"
 
With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
Don't tell me that you've got golf clubs in there too!"
 
Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
4,453 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

This morning on the way to work I wasn't really paying attention and I drove into the back of a car at some traffic lights.

The driver got out and it turned out he was a dwarf.

He walked up to me with a frown on his face and said, "I'M NOT HAPPY."

To which I innocently asked, "Well, which one are you then?"

4,747 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

A dog walked in to the telegram office one day. He took out a blank form and wrote on it:

"Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."

Then he handed it to the clerk. The clerk examined the paper and said to the dog, "You know there are only nine words here? You could send another 'Woof' for the same price."Image result for IMAGE OF DOG WITH TONGUE OUT

The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!"

4,669 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

64245870_2187332031381875_7606837021989928960_n.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
4,614 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

911

Going to bed the other night, I noticed people in my shed stealing things. I phoned the police but was told there was no one in the area to help. The policeman said they would send someone over as soon as possible. I hung up.

A minute later I rang again. 'Hello', I said, 'I called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed.  You don't have to hurry now, because I've shot them.' Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, plus helicopters and an armed response unit. They caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the officers said: 'I thought you said you'd shot them.' To which I replied: 'I thought you said there was no one available.'

 

4,731 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

FB_IMG_1559438398522.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
4,746 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

 

  

I have  no idea who wrote this. But, this is oh so accurate. Im betting Janet Skinner Meinke will get a kick out of this.

MEN ARE JUST HAPPY PEOPLE

This needs no explanation - and is a fun read, no matter your gender.

Men Are Just Happier People! What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress - $5,000. Tux rental - $100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Two pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache... You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier!

NICKNAME ยท If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. ยท If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wild Man.

EATING OUT ยท When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs ยท A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS ยท A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel ยท The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS ยท A woman has the last word in any argument. ยท Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE ยท A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband ยท / A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE ยท A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesnโ€™t. ยท A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP ยท A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. ยท A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL ยท Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed ยท Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING ยท Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, and hopes and dreams. ยท A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY. A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! So, send this to the women who have a sense of humor .... and to the men who will enjoy reading.

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
4,703 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Solid-Rocket-Boosters-on-a-train.jpg  

Why 4 FEET 8.5 Inches is Very Important

Fascinating Stuff . . .

Railroad Tracks
The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.

That's an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used?

Because that's the way they built them in England,

and English expatriates designed the U.S. Railroads.

Why did the English build them like that?

Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Why did 'they' use that gauge then?

Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used

for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Why did the wagons have that particular Odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So, who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads?

Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match

for fear of destroying their wagon wheels.

Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome,

they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

Therefore, the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches

is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot.

In other words, bureaucracies live forever.

So the next time you are handed a specification, procedure, or process, and wonder,

'What horse's ass came up with this?', you may be exactly right.

Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough

to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses.

Now, the twist to the story:

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad,

you will notice that there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs.

The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah.

The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit larger,

but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site.

The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains

and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel.

The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know,

is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature
of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system

was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass.

And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important!

Now you know, Horses' Asses control almost everything.

Explains a whole lot of stuff, doesn't it?

The left lane on a multi lane highway is called the โ€œpassing laneโ€ for a reason. 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
4,674 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

FB_IMG_1559264189014.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
4,621 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

 

   A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that car?"
He calmly told them, "I bought it today."
"With what money?" demanded his parents. We know what a Porsche costs..."
"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars."
So the parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?" they asked.
"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. "Don't know her name - they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars."
"Oh no!" moaned the mother, "She must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on."
So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias. He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.
"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did."

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
4,532 Views
0
Report
cancel
Showing results forย 
Showย ย onlyย  | Search instead forย 
Did you mean:ย 
Users
Need to Know

NEW: AARP Games Tournament Tuesdays! This week, achieve a top score in Atari Centipedeยฎ and you could win $100! Learn More.

AARP Games Tournament Tuesdays

More From AARP