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- Re: ๐ฏ A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving!...
๐ฏ A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.
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๐ฏ A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.
โถ๏ธTo reply, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your text. Click reply button again.โ๏ธ
READ the comments and/or ADD a comment.
***A place to share and support***
Grief & Loss Team ๐ค๐ค
๐ธclipart attached๐ธ
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1 comment (Sunday 11/12/23)
Happy BELATED Birthday dear sweet and strong Cadee!!! ๐
And YES, it is a NEW beginning for YOU = older and WISER. ๐
Wow, you have been BUSY! ๐ฑ
So I am guessing that the NEXT step is to SELL your house? ๐ค
SO GOOD hearing from you my friend.... ๐๐๐
And you stay in my prayers and thoughts for your NEXT doctor's appointment. ๐๐
SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!
Luv you,
Nicole ๐ค
โ@Cadee2719 wrote:Good I guess I fixed whatever the problem was. I will repeat my post. Thank You Nicole for your love and care. The one year anniversary was hard for me. I am in the process of designing my husband's gravestone. On that day I went and put flowers on my husband and son's graves, but it was such a lonely feeling. My son sold his home here and we flew to Idaho where he purchased a beautiful new home. It closes the end of this month. I found three communities that I am interested in purchasing my home in. I saw elderly women walking their dogs, children getting off the school bus and WALKING to their homes (all things that can't be safely done here). I am looking forward to the move and know I have A LOT of work ahead of me. I also got an appointment with the rheumatologist 12/21. I hope he can solve the problem of the pain in my legs. My birthday was yesterday and it seems as if I will have a NEW BEGINNING, a rebirth. I am Thankful.โ
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1 comment (SUNDAY 11/12/23)
Hi Cadee @Cadee2719 , I use an Android to post.
What are YOU using? ๐ค
Luv you,
Nicole ๐ค
โ@Cadee2719 wrote:I am not sure why what I am posting is not showing. Something has changed on this site for me and I am not sure what it is. This is a test post to see if it goes through.โ
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Good I guess I fixed whatever the problem was. I will repeat my post. Thank You Nicole for your love and care. The one year anniversary was hard for me. I am in the process of designing my husband's gravestone. On that day I went and put flowers on my husband and son's graves, but it was such a lonely feeling. My son sold his home here and we flew to Idaho where he purchased a beautiful new home. It closes the end of this month. I found three communities that I am interested in purchasing my home in. I saw elderly women walking their dogs, children getting off the school bus and WALKING to their homes (all things that can't be safely done here). I am looking forward to the move and know I have A LOT of work ahead of me. I also got an appointment with the rheumatologist 12/21. I hope he can solve the problem of the pain in my legs. My birthday was yesterday and it seems as if I will have a NEW BEGINNING, a rebirth. I am Thankful.
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1 comment (Saturday 11/11/23)
Thanks Marcy @MarcyW882921 ๐๐๐
Lol, I got OFF the Rollercoaster and STAYED OFF when I got up to make my MUCH NEEDED coffee. โ
I am now getting ready to RETURN to my bed (stayed out of it ALL DAY ๐๐๐).
Girl, that is my SLEEP AID/lol ๐๐คฃ
Gertrude is a HOT MESS!!! ๐
It is a series of audiobooks the author is sharing. GRATEFUL ๐
SO GOOD hearing from you. Hey, kitchen finished? ๐ค
Luv you,
Nicole ๐ค
โ@MarcyW882921 wrote:Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT ,
I'm sorry about your roller coaster day. I hope there were at least more ups than downs. Why not listen to that book that excites you any time you want? When you are retired you have so much more flexibility in the timing of things you like to do!
Marcyโ
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Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT ,
I'm glad you got off the roller coaster and stayed out of bed today! Sometimes it's fun to read about someone else who is a hot mess to take your mind off what you might be feeling.
The kitchen remodeling is done and I am waiting for a table. I didn't think I needed one, but someone who has been helping me with the project felt it was needed. The delivery was delayed and I was finally able to schedule it for next Saturday. I have reservations, but hope it works out the way this person envisioned it. ๐คจ
Marcy
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๐ฃ 1 Step At A Time!
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1 comment (Saturday 11/11/23 1:30pm EST)
Dear Kim @KimberlyM389662 , I am TAGGING both AARP Expert Jane @JaneCares and AARP Expert Amy @agoyer to see IF they are ONLINE now.
Luv you,
Nicole ๐ค
โ@KimberlyM389662 wrote:Nicole,
I am in such a funk and can't get out of it. I feel like such a failure on everything. There are things that I have to do now with my son that has made me realize that it is things he did with his Dad and it makes me so sad that my son will never get to do those again. Social security is messing around with my son's benefits. 9 months ago I had his interview to switch his SSI over to SSDI to collect benefits under his Dad and it's still not completed. I was given a number to call my local congressman to get involved which is what I had to do last year to get my disability reviewed and of course they denied me. It's been resubmitted and per the lawyer my husband's death helps me. They have only processed 35% and it says it generally takes a year. I am going down a rabbit hole and feel like everything is closing in on me. Not sleeping well, anxiety induced panic attacks and after this month I won't be able to pay my bills. I worked so hard to keep a good credit score which is now going into the crapper. I need someone to help me and tell me it's going to get better. โ
@SummerIsTooHOT @KimberlyM389662
Kimberly I'm so sorry you are in such a fix. And dealing with this while you are grieving - it's so hard. My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry for your loss.
The length of time it takes for these things is so frustrating! I do think it's a good idea to call your Member of Congress and get them to help you. I know you said you did that for yourself but you were denied, and it's a good idea to do this now for your son.
You said you were working with a lawyer - that's a good thing, what is the lawyer doing to help you? Good lawyers can help the process go more smoothly and possibly faster. What advice is the lawyer giving?
Here are some resources that may be helpful.
Find free financial counseling:
- Financial Counseling Association of America Or call 1-800-450-1794
- The Foundation for Financial Planning has some free education resources but also has info about how to talk to a free financial expert. They also have some great worksheets and other tools.
- Some banks or credit unions offer free financial counseling - you might contact yours and ask if they offer any support.
- Advisors Give Back is a non-profit in which financial advisors offer free expert advice.
- The Financial Planning Association also has a pro bono program for free expert advice.
- I know you are concerned about being able to pay your bills. I'd urge you to contact your utility companies (gas, electric, internet, etc.) and tell the you are struggling and ask if they have any programs to help - some offer discounted services, deferred payments, etc.
Supplement your income and help pay for expenses by applying for other public benefits:
- Be sure you have also signed up for any other benefits you might be eligible for (and they may go faster that Social Security does). For example, LIHEAP (low income home energy assistance program) helps people with low incomes pay their heating and electric bills. AARP has these free public benefits state fact sheets for every state and you can see about how to apply in your state, who to contact, etc. You might qualify for SNAP (food and nutrition benefits), TANF (Temporary Assistance for Needy Families) or other benefits as well. Have you applied for Medicaid?
Use a food bank:
- Remember that you can go to a Food Bank to get food - every little bit of money that is saved can help! Feeding America has a tool to help you find local food banks. There is no shame in utilizing a food bank when you need it. They exist for people who are in tough situations and you definitely qualify for that!
I hope some of these things will lead you to more support and financial assistance!
Take care,
Amy Goyer, AARP Family & Caregiving Expert
Author, Juggling Life, Work and Caregiving
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2 comments (11/11/23) ๐ Saturday Chat!
How are you TODAY/TONIGHT? ๐ค
Me, kind of an IFFY day = rollercoaster day! ๐
Earlier, was thinking of staying IN BED ALL DAY, but did get up to make some much needed coffee. โ
So far, have NOT climbed back into bed.... ๐๐๐
Totally EXCITED that the YouTube Channel I SUBSCRIBE to just posted a NEW audiobook. Cannot wait for BEDTIME tonight to listen to it. ๐
"Gertrude, Gumshoe: Slam Is Murder | Cozy Mystery Audiobook" on YouTube.
Okay, let me cut this short and hit post as I see OUR Kim @KimberlyM389662 just posted. ๐๐๐
Find YOUR peace,
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Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT ,
I'm sorry about your roller coaster day. I hope there were at least more ups than downs. Why not listen to that book that excites you any time you want? When you are retired you have so much more flexibility in the timing of things you like to do!
Marcy
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Nicole,
I can't do the audio books. My daughter does in the car on her way home from work. My neighbor also. Me, I'm old school. I do read books on my Kindle it's not the same as actually feeling the weight of the book. Also, the gratification of actually turning the page with my hand. I have been reading a series of books about one specific person. I have been reading him since 1992 I just got the new book but, I have not been able to focus on reading. My therapist and my psychiatric nurse practitioner put me on a new medicine to help me focus but it hasn't had enough time to reach the plateau that I need to be able to.
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1 comment (Friday 11/10/23)
Marcy @MarcyW882921 , OUR Jonibee @jonibee INSPIRES me NOT to GIVE UP!!!
Through all of this, SHE is "functioning" - gosh, I would be laying in a Hospital Bed DEMANDING stuff = I am a BIG BABY. My daughter is like dear sweet strong Jonibee.
Luv you BOTH,
Nicole ๐ค๐ค
โ@MarcyW882921 wrote:Jonibee @jonibee.
Thinking of you and I'm sorry that you are having to deal with all of these kicks while you are already down. I guess all you can do is follow doctor's orders that seem to be prioritizing what is the most crucial at this time. I hope the medication does what is is expected to do without adding any additional complications.
Marcyโ
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Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT ,
I love Jonibee's @Jonibee fighting spirit and that she inspires you. Those are things we all need!
Marcy
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2 comments (Friday 11/10/23)
๐ฃ 1 Step At A Time!
The day will come when you can remember your loved one WITHOUT PAIN.
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Nicole,
I am in such a funk and can't get out of it. I feel like such a failure on everything. There are things that I have to do now with my son that has made me realize that it is things he did with his Dad and it makes me so sad that my son will never get to do those again. Social security is messing around with my son's benefits. 9 months ago I had his interview to switch his SSI over to SSDI to collect benefits under his Dad and it's still not completed. I was given a number to call my local congressman to get involved which is what I had to do last year to get my disability reviewed and of course they denied me. It's been resubmitted and per the lawyer my husband's death helps me. They have only processed 35% and it says it generally takes a year. I am going down a rabbit hole and feel like everything is closing in on me. Not sleeping well, anxiety induced panic attacks and after this month I won't be able to pay my bills. I worked so hard to keep a good credit score which is now going into the crapper. I need someone to help me and tell me it's going to get better.
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Just an update as to my conditon of tx for carpal tunnel..i was suppose to go and have hands assessed to see if a shot was necessary but due to raise in blood sugar levels to the danger zone it wasn't done..I have to go on meds to bring it down to levels that stabalize ...i was told I have type 2 diabetes so this is a new curve thrown at me and i now have to deal with this which I will..I am a Carbs person and when emotions gnaw at you it's so easy to turn to sweets which is only a temporary fix..I have been dealing with the sugar issue blood levels for the last two years because of stress and this is the end result.Hopefully all will come to where I'm suppose to be...Thank you to those who remembered me this past week on the anniversary of my husbands passing...
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Jonibee @jonibee.
Thinking of you and I'm sorry that you are having to deal with all of these kicks while you are already down. I guess all you can do is follow doctor's orders that seem to be prioritizing what is the most crucial at this time. I hope the medication does what is is expected to do without adding any additional complications.
Marcy
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1 comment (Thursday 11/9/23)
Thanks Marcy @MarcyW882921 ๐๐๐
Lol, I cleaned house in my REAL AND ONLINE lives = everyone on PROBATION! ๐คฃ๐
On the SERIOUS side, I am NOT as NEEDY as I was THIS YEAR and EXCITED about what is in store for me. ๐๐๐
Luv you,
Nicole ๐ค
โ@MarcyW882921 wrote:Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT,
Reading your post about living humans in your life reminded me of a chapter in a book I am reading. The book is Build the Life You Want by Arthur C. Brooks & Oprah Winfrey. There is a chapter about friends and they are described in two categories "real and deal." Your real friends are those close friends that you confide in and the relationship endures and the deal friends are ones that serve a purpose in your life (or maybe you serve a purpose in their life) for a period of time and then it ends.
You described the process well. Identify who these people are and how they fit into your life. If their purpose or your purpose is over, it is ok to let go. If however they are someone that you respect, admire, confide in, trust, etc., invest the time and energy to maintain that relationship over time.
Marcyโ
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1 comment (Thursday 11/9/23)
Hi Bill @BillH490171 , SO GOOD to hear from YOU!!! ๐๐๐
Luv you,
Nicole ๐ค
โ@BillH490171 wrote:Good morning and hope everyone is enjoying this day. Here in southwest VA, the leaves have turned and are falling like crazy. I'll be out some raking and moving them around some.
As we move into the holiday season, this will be the first one without my spouse for myself and my kids. I've read some ideas on how to deal with this "first" in the year of firsts. I plan to be away from my house, busy as I can be, and then celebrate Thanksgiving with 3 of my 4 kids on Friday.
Anyone have any tips that worked for you in getting through the holidays?
Take care, Bill โ
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That is a good idea Bill. Holidays don't have to be celebrated on the exact day. And not everyone can get together on the same day. I'm sorry for your loss Bill. And I know its painful without your person. However I'm sure your kids are grateful and happy to still have their Dad. Stay hopeful. I'm sure good things are on the horizon for all of you!
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