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Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.

Hope this topic gives us another winner. Senior stories, jokes or cartoons to enjoy and have fun laughing at ourselves. 

 

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE.....

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea" and then he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

 

 

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As the saying goes "are you older than dirt"?

 

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What a sad loss!

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I remember all 17!

 

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I've got a meeting with the guy that invented the progress bar during the era of dialup internet.

 

He's going to be here in 2 hours and 13 minutes.


Edit: Apparently he's stuck in traffic and he's going to be here in 6 hours 54 minutes.

 

Edit2: He's making better progress than thought, he will be here in 12 minutes.

 

Edit3: Apparently it will now take him 5 days



It's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice.
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Who remembers toys like these? Did you have any of them? I was a WWII baby so they were not available. My dad made a pull cart for me which I am including a photo of. Our youngest daughter Emma will be using the cart to give rides to her daughter who is one month old now when she is old!

This is me in the cartThis is me in the cartMy sister Diane waiting for a rideMy sister Diane waiting for a rideMy youngest daughter EmmaMy youngest daughter Emma

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Who remembers all of these smells? Which 3 are you favorites?

Breakfast cooking, bond fire and cake batter. 

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I was in a long McDonald's drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn because I was taking too long to place my order.

 

Take the high road, I thought to myself. So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own.

The cashier must have told her what I'd done because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness.

When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too.

Now she has to go back to the end of the line to start all over.

Don't honk your horn at old people!



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I love it!

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If Shakespeare had written the 3 Little Pigs & more!! Comedy to make you laugh!



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One word:   S U P E R B !!!!

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Four ‘Senior’ women were in a beauty parlor getting their hair done when in walks a young chick with a low-cut blouse that revealed a rosebud tattoo above one boob. One lady leaned over to another and said, “She doesn’t know it yet, but in 50 years she’ll be wearing a long-stemmed rose in a hanging basket.”



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An old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself gently, painfully, up onto a stool… After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’ ‘No,’ he replied, ‘Arthritis.’



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