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Social Butterfly

HOW OFTEN?

I'm quite curious about this.  How frequently should you... or do you phone  your parents and how often do your kids call you?

One of my friend's son calls her every other day and another elderly friend is lucky if her daughter calls once a month.  

 

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Honored Social Butterfly

@n566192l. we miss your posting here! It has been almost a month since your last posting. 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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These days the only time I hear from my 21 yr. old and 16 year old Grandchildren is when they want money. My son is getting a divorce and their Mother is teaching them this behavior. She is an angry controlling woman. To those who get to talk,and text with their loved ones I am happy for them. I could see this if they were in need but she just used student loan money to help pay for two dogs at the cost of $5000.00 from Petland. I have offically cut them off. So they have cut me off.

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Honored Social Butterfly

BeBa789
My sister-in-law has had to deal with an ungrateful daughter and one very ungrateful granddaughter. Her son-in-law has created most of this issue and she has removed them all from her will.
Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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I talked with my mom everyday over the past 2 years, sometimes more. However we did go for about 20 years without communication, I feel blessed that I got to spend precious time with her before she passed! My sons do not call me, my daughter maybe once a month. I do not talk with my father as I did with my mom, I call every few weeks. I would love it if I got a check in call at least once a month. 

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Periodic Contributor

3 kids. #1 son, 38, calls his mother every day and me the most days I'd guess. He's a charmer and knows where the balance of power lies. No matter how short the call, she knows she will hear from him daily. 

 

Daughter, 34, and son also 34, yes, they're twins.

 

She calls me when she needs something or something is broken. She's divorced and I help her with her 4-year-old girl regularly- and am delighted to do it- usually. She and her mom will usually be operating some sort of obscure feud that I can't keep track of no matter how much they tell me. In between diatribes, complaints, and interpretations of social media posts as slings and arrows in a war too subtle for me to detect, they talk on the phone for hours at a time. What on earth can they find to talk about for that long and never once mention the election, baseball, or the Civil War? I thought they were mad at each other? Better stay out of it, besides, they have to talk to arrange their shopping, lunches, and pedicures.

 

And then there's #2 son. We actually have two for one with him. We'll call them #2a and #2b. "A" is the sweetest, kindest, most respectful, helpful and generous kid you would ever want. "What a nice young man." "B" is not. He'll call during his long commute, and you know it's in a large part to assuage his boredom. You will either get a fascinating and informative discussion of an art object, antique, or personality #2a had encountered that day, or you will be hearing a very upset #2b providing a furious running commentary on the vehicular felons with whom he is forced to share the road. You will also hear from him on the weekend when his wife works a day and he wants to go climbing, fishing, sailing; "You should spend more time with the kids, don't ya think?" Transparent as they may be we really like those calls.

 

So no complaints, 3 kids, and I figure about 20-30 calls a week. Now, if they would just get all their stuff out of the basement and garage.

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Honored Social Butterfly

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I don't have any relatives. All passed away.

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My daughter who lives 3500 miles away and I talk 2-3 times a week and text in between. I hear (text only) from my daughter who lives 4 miles away when I reach out (text only) first. Rarely will she contact me first. She told me she hates chatting on the phone so I don't call knowing my call would go unanswered anyway.
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Newbie

I have the same problem with my daughter but she is an artist and I want to respect her space. If there is an emergency, she will call and I invite her over for brunch or dinner on occasion. So far, that is working.

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Newbie

My parents are deceased and there are 5 of us - spread out all over.  I try to use their birthdays as a reminder to call or text them once a month.  I have it programmed into my calendar.  There are times that I skip it, just because of other stuff going on, but I miss talking to them, or at least connecting with them in some form or fashion at least once a month.

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Conversationalist

My brother lives with me in an Independent Living Community.  Twice a week we talk to his son and wife, once by phone during the week, and by skyping on Sunday.  Skyping is a great way to connect with family and friends, when they are far away.  My nephew lives in California, and while sometimes we may play phone tag, Sundays we always skype at a regular time. Twice a year they come to visit and while it may only be a couple of days, we make the most of them.

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We have 3 adult children.  Our never married daughter lives with us so we see her every day.  Oldest son lives half hour away and until 2 yrs ago our youngest son lived 2 miles away.  Since he moved 350 miles for his job we are having a harder time seeing him.  We do text and call weekly.  We were just to our oldest son's last Sunday.   In the summer I plan a family bbq with my kids and my siblings and at Christmas I have them all here also.  Since our parents are gone I think it's important for us all to see each other.  I get in touch with each of them monthly.  I dont wait for any of them to contact me.  Make the first move.

 

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Conversationalist

My granddaughter, who is 10, reached out to me to send emails because she doesn't have a phone yet but has a notebook. So, we keep in touch about 3 days a week because she's in school now. She loves to know anything about everything.

So, I'm excited that she was willing to do this wonderful idea.

I live with my daughter and 2 sons and it's wonderful to talk with them about different ideas they have. They say I'm old school but it's always good because as my son says what you learned Ma, can help us when we get older, if we live as long as you do.

He always says to me, You raised me very well and  I want a wife like you, with your ideals, love and compassion.

Its always important to keep the channels open because we ,as parents, don't know what they r going thru.  They maybe quiet but start slow and remember to always Listen and Smile and then, they begin...

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Honored Social Butterfly

All four of our parents passed away several years ago but we did communicate quite often given that cell phones were just coming into popularity.  On the other hand we hear from our three daughters regularly be it by cell phones, email, text or on Facebook with all of us involved. 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Periodic Contributor

I have to call my son. My daughter, hope for once a week.  It's hard when friends are talking how their kids call all the time. 

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I completely understand. My husband and I moved to another state. I rarely hear from either my son or daughter unless I contact them first especially since I have always been there for them. It is very hurtful. 

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