🤗 WE are thinking of YOU! Please Stop By To See Us :)

[Anonymous]

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WE cry, rejoice, talk, share!

Whatever YOU need, WE are here for YOU.

***YOU are a very SPECIAL person and WE want to hear from YOU***

Grief & Loss Team 🤗

[BeatleloverKT]

I can definitely take a hint lol. Hoping the hurricanes don’t affect you 🤞🙏

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

One Step At A Time 🤗

[SueS788527]

Hi, Nicole, there is power in this AARP Grief Forum, and I am happy that you have taken the lead to encourage others to help others.  I have found that gratitude and self-less behavior has helped me to heal and not immerse myself in self-pity.  We are the village/community with broader reach and potential beyond our own suffering.  Love, Sue

[SueS788527]

Hi, everyone, I am recently seeing that a number of my friends and acquaintances are getting sick or in accidents.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, we are all still very fragile and vulnerable.  Anxiety could be high as well leading to health matters. I have found that many of these people are alone, and no one seems to be reaching out to them to find out how they are. doing. Lately I have been making short but frequent phone calls to them, just to let them know I care.  Depending on the situation, I may not go into how they are feeling.  I just say I have been thinking of you.  That has meant a lot to them and hopefully given them some comfort in their time of need.  Unfortunately for them, they don't belong to the AARP Grief Forum, so they are on their own.  Not good and we probably know who they are.  Please set aside some quality time with them.  They will appreciate it.  Have a good day.  Sue

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

One Step At A Time 🤗

[mc6844]

My friends and family keep in close touch with text and phone calls. I'm always happy to hear their news, good and otherwise. I think we forget that they look forward to keeping in touch with us, a trusted familiar source of hope and encouragement. 

Also vanilla ice cream is my favorite. It makes me feel better. And is easy to eat. Along with caramels covered in chocolate. Cookies and cake not so much. Mac n cheese is good. Meat is too much. Wait a minute, isn't the above my usual daily diet? Lol Why not, you only live once. Most importantly I just get going with the day no matter how I feel. Well, some days don't quite make it. But that's the way it goes.

[BeatleloverKT]

Me too. We have a need for that topic 👍

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

One Step At A Time 🤗

[BeatleloverKT]

I was depressed long before John died.
I had just never addressed it. After he died, I went to pieces. I was crying everywhere I went. Even to my Dr. Who finally put me on an antidepressant. I didn’t really want it and have found out it’s not a cure all but I’m better on it then off of it. And that I was told by my two sons.I have a few close friends I can vent to anytime I need to and am very close to my brother, who texts me everyday to see how I am. I try to surround myself with positive people. Negativity just makes me feel worse. And music is a major help to me as well.

And of course there’s always chocolate

🤣 

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

One Step At A Time 🤗

[BeatleloverKT]

All we can do is try. I am a work in progress still. Meds are not for everyone. And chocolate helps in all situations lol

[BillH490171]

Hey, count me in..

Bill

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

One Step At A Time 🤗

[BillH490171]

Hey Nicole, I sure wish I had a magic wand or a prophetic response. For me so far, I look to refocus on something else.  I may go for a walk, watch a TV show, heck I've even gone to the mall so shop.  I find that getting out around people even strangers can help lift my spirits. For me, I realize that not changing my setting really helped out.  Depression will be there for us and having a few tools in your tool bag can help.

Grief is just a crappy part of our lives and there no way around it. Depression rides along too.  I've called my sister and brother once in a while too.  

I guess, I'd just suggest get up and get out and leave it behind for a bit.

I'm working on a welcome speech (short as it can be) for my wife's memorial in a couple weeks.  Its no fun, but we all want our spouses to be proud of us.  She'll hear it and smile..

Bill

[mc6844]

Bill I hope you and your adult kids have a nice memorial. We had one by the water with lots of flowers strewn. I realized how my kids and their spouses and my grandchildren needed a structured focus for the event. Maybe because it was outside. Their Dad was a Veteran. I played Amazing Grace and Flowers of the Forest by Dark Isle Bagpiper on youtube, and a sacred hymn. I started with having the youngest grandchild putting her flower in the water. And so on to the oldest one. Then my youngest adult child and spouse up to the oldest one and his spouse. The music made a good focus for grieving, and not tacky as I was afraid it could be. I asked my children to instruct the grandchildren that it was a somber occasion and to be respectful at all times. Which of course they did. Their Dad is in the military and they're well acquainted with loss. This particular son read a text from the Navy funeral services. We all struggled with memories of deployments in the family. For me, it was my son's deployments. The visual focus of the flowers floating towards the sanctuary of a cove was beautiful and comforting for all. It was a small cohesive service. I was surprised and honored to receive a flag from a Navy representative. We opted for cremation and small family/friends memorial. I wanted the kids to remember their Dad with respect. He'd been sick for a long time. And not the person he once was. I'm sure he was proud of them all that day as always. 

I'm sure it will be fine for your family as well.

[SueS788527]

Hi, Bill, good hearing from you.  I guess we are all struggling with our grief.  I like your ideas of getting out, which I have been doing too.  I wanted to offer some ideas on your wife's memorial speech.  I put a short revelation together right after my husband died and was at a loss on what to say.  I kept it short too and incorporated a lot of comments from friends, neighbors and business acquaintances who knew him.  It ended up being very genuine and a tribute to him and his longstanding good relations.  Also, I strongly believe that all our loved ones are still with us in spirit and smiling down on us. That is why I planted some bushes and perennials that he loved, so I can remember the good times when were together enjoying the garden.  Good luck with the memorial services.  It will be a blessing and challenge, at least it was for me, but I felt better afterwards.  Your friend, Sue

[BillH490171]

Sue, thanks for the note and I'll certainly use your advice.  My kids who have helped me during this time (they wrote their Mom's obit for me) have suggested that we buy potted plants from Lowes and that way folks can take one home to plant if they want. My wife was a lifelong gardener.

I know that my threshold for a welcome speech will be short (can't talk too well when when I start crying) so I'll keep it short. 

For me its one of the ongoing tests for this entire challenge.  I know I'll feel better afterwards.

Bill

[SueS788527]

Hi, Bill, you have the right approach.  I cried through most of my revelations at my husband's funeral.  They say that tears represent all the love you feel for you loved one.  So please do not feel ashamed about shedding tears.  It is natural.  Also, I recently read that sometimes those who grieve need to remember that family members are also grieving, only in their own way and time.  That is why we need to be gentle with them as well.  It is a tough time for all of us. Continue to take care of yourself and your kids.  Sue

[mc6844]

This makes the topics a little easier to follow. Thanks Nicole. I hope you're feeling a little more cheered up. God is always with you.

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

One Step At A Time 🤗

[MarcyW882921]

How did you know Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy that I am feeling just like that poor little kitty?

Marcy

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

One Step At A Time 🤗

[MarcyW882921]

I hope Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy that you were in bed just to have a day of rest and not because you weren't feeling well.

Marcy

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

One Step At A Time 🤗

[MarcyW882921]

Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy , These things do get you worked up and they always seem to happen on a weekend when you can't reach anyone to get to the bottom of it! Hopefully you were able to put it aside and keep your worry at bay until you can call them tomorrow.

Sleep well!

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

Hello everyone.  Had a great visit and tour of the Titanic Exhibition with my grandson.  My son brought me some fresh blueberries so I baked blueberry scones this morning.  I'll put the coffee on.  Come on over!  😄

[MarcyW882921]

Oh Cadee @Cadee2719 ,  that sounds so yummy, I wish you lived closer so I could head on over!

Marcy

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

One Step At A Time 🤗

[Cadee2719]

LOVE IT!   I just put another batch of scones in!  I will have enough for all of you.  😄

[Therapist4u]

I’m on my way Cadee....Nicole sent me.....LOL!😊