🤗 WE are thinking of YOU! Please Stop By To See Us :)

[Anonymous]

▶️To reply, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your text. Click reply button again.◀️

WE cry, rejoice, talk, share!

Whatever YOU need, WE are here for YOU.

***YOU are a very SPECIAL person and WE want to hear from YOU***

Grief & Loss Team 🤗

[Anonymous]

Party Time!!! OUR @Cadee2719 just stopped by 🤎🤗

▶️Re: 🤗🤎 WE are thinking of YOU! Please Stop By To See Us 🙂

by Cadee2719 in Grief & Loss

 ‎06-13-2023 02:00 PM

I agree. My role for many, many years was "caretaker" to my husband. I did all I could to keep him alive. His doctors would tease me and say they wanted me as their nurse when they became ill. Toward the end of his hospice care, the nurse (the sweetest person ever) said "He is dying. You are still struggling to do everything within your power to keep him alive. He is suffering and you must let him go." Now that he is gone, I no longer feel as if I have a purpose in life. I struggle to find my identity. Last night I read something by Jamie Anderson; "Grief is just love, with no place to go." Thank You for expressing your thoughts and understanding.◀️

[mc6844]

Cadee I'd say you've found a purpose in sharing your experiences here. What you share helps others dealing with the same issues. Most people have no idea how Hospice works, or how to navigate end of life issues. Your knowledge can help many people find ways that work in their situations! Take care.

[Anonymous]

Party Time!!! 💃🥳

OUR Marcy @MarcyW882921 just stopped by. 🤗🤎

▶️MarcyW882921 Conversationalist

‎06-12-2023 03:41 PM

Oh my...you are so spot on with your description. I can truly relate to everything you said!

Thank you!

Marcy◀️

[Anonymous]

2 comments (6/12/23) Party Time!!! 🥳💃

OUR @mc6844 just stopped by. 🤎🤗

▶️(1) mc6844 Conversationalist

‎06-12-2023 02:16 PM

Good reminders Marcy! Thank yoi

▶️(2) mc6844 Conversationalist

‎06-12-2023 02:37 PM

Your question made me think. When my husband was dying in hospital he kept asking me "how are you doing?" I said "I'm ok." Of course I wasn't but didn't want to add to his grief. But I kept telling myself I was OK cause what else are you gonna do in those circumstances? Falling apart wasn't an option. It would be too much putting all of myself back together. Except we're never the same after these things. It's not only the people we love and care about that we've lost, but that part of our life and our roles in their lives. ◀️

[Cadee2719]

I agree.  My role for many, many years was "caretaker" to my husband.  I did all I could to keep him alive. His doctors would tease me and say they wanted me as their nurse when they became ill.   Toward the end of his hospice care, the nurse (the sweetest person ever) said "He is dying.  You are still struggling to do everything within your power to keep him alive.  He is suffering and you must let him go."  Now that he is gone, I no longer feel as if I have a purpose in life.  I struggle to find my identity.  Last night I read something by Jamie Anderson;  "Grief is just love, with no place to go."  Thank You for expressing your thoughts and understanding.

[MarcyW882921]

@Cadee2719 , You obviously have a lot of love to give and in time you will find a place for it to go. Because of our loss, we are forever changed. We are no longer a wife, caretaker, etc. so now we are searching for our new identity and purpose. I think we join many others on this path.

[Anonymous]

2 comments 📬(Monday 6/12/23)

Well, took it easy this weekend and had some "rough" moments but LEARNING to let the "moments" come and go! 👍

Was SO GOOD hearing from EVERYONE...🥳💃

So TONIGHT is Trash Night. 😭 NO mail = NO post office emails since I last checked. Check each week when I make my "dreaded" trip to the dumpster. But I do CHECK "just in case" they missed notifying me. 🙄

Then TOMORROW (Tuesday) is my "mixed emotions" trip to my LOA (local office of aging) to get my MEDICARE set up. Turn 65 THIS September and NOT looking forward to the process. Yes, decisions and changes. My OLD doctor does NOT accept Medicare. 😭😭😭 Same with dentist for my 6-month cleanings. Then the trip DOWNTOWN. 😱 Yes, getting on the highway. I picked a Tuesday and 10am HOPING all the "bumper riders" are somewhere else and NOT on my bumper./lol 😂🤣

Then WEDNESDAY, my weekly Walmart "out of food" run. 😭

***And yes, a night of falling asleep BEFORE my 11pm bedtime = now AWAKE. Oh well...😉***

Luv you ALL,

Nicole 🤗🤎

[mc6844]

Thanks for sharing Nicole. The moments and time marches on for sure. I hear a lot of hope in your shares and I hope your Medicare years are good to you!

[Anonymous]

Thank you @mc6844 , so GOOD hearing from you!!! 🥳💃 Nicole 🤎🤗

---

▶️@mc6844 wrote:

Thanks for sharing Nicole. The moments and time marches on for sure. I hear a lot of hope in your shares and I hope your Medicare years are good to you!◀️

---

[Anonymous]

2 comments (Monday 6/12/23)

Sometimes WE do NOT feel like stopping by to chat.

WE understand! 👍

But HOPE you will stop by AGAIN to see us. 🥳💃

Grief & Loss Team 🤎🤗

📸.gif attached📸

[mc6844]

Your question made me think. When my husband was dying in hospital he kept asking me "how are you doing?" I said "I'm ok." Of course I wasn't but didn't want to add to his grief. But I kept telling myself I was OK cause what else are you gonna do in those circumstances? Falling apart wasn't an option.  It would be too much putting all of myself back together. Except we're never the same after these things. It's not only the people we love and care about that we've lost, but that part of our life and our roles in their lives. 

[MarcyW882921]

Oh my...you are so spot on with your description. I can truly relate to everything you said!

Thank you!

Marcy

[Anonymous]

1 comment (6/11/23) Party Time!!! 🥳💃

OUR Marcy @MarcyW882921 just stopped by 🤗🤎

▶️(1) Re: 📋 How to SURVIVE GRIEF, Come Out the Other Side and ENJOY LIFE AGAIN!

by MarcyW882921 in Grief & Loss

 ‎06-11-2023 05:30 PM

 1 Kudo

Nicole @Spring2023 , Thanks for sharing this again. I read it several months ago, but it was good for me to read it again at this stage in my grief process. Marcy

(2) Re: 📋 Be gentle with yourself!

by MarcyW882921 in Grief & Loss

 ‎06-11-2023 05:35 PM

 1 Kudo

Nicole @Spring2023, Today I did some physical activity, had lunch with a friend, called a relative that I hadn't spoken to for a while, and spent some quiet time reading. It felt good to take care of myself in multiple ways. I'd like to think that there were others who benefitted as well. 🙂 Marcy◀️

[mc6844]

Good reminders Marcy! Thank you

[BeatleloverKT]

Happy Sunday to everyone! This is my day that

I don’t do a thing. No housework and usually no

cooking. Just relaxing. Hope you all are relaxing 

as well. Love to all 💜

[MarcyW882921]

Kathy @BeatleloverKT Good for you! It is great that you allow yourself this day of rest and relaxation! Enjoy your you time because you deserve it.

Marcy

[Anonymous]

1 comment (Friday 6/9/23)

I hope everyone gets some sleep TONIGHT. 😴

Yes, SOME nights are a "trip" for me = sometimes I fall asleep too early and then up when I am SUPPOSE to be sleeping. 🙄

Oh well, I NOW "celebrate" the nights I do sleep 11pm to 6am and KNOW on the other nights - it is TEMPORARY! 😉

Luv you ALL, Nicole 🤎🤗

[Cadee2719]

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with "sleep", but it is also a relief to hear that I am not the only one.  Caring for my husband in hospice care at home, I relied on a small dose of Melatonin to try to sleep.  I continued to rely on this for my four hours of sleep since he passed.  Now I am weaning myself off of this and trying to form natural sleep habits.  Some nights I do ok, others not.  I find that "recovery" to a new life can be a struggle;  one we must face and conquer each day.  I am so glad that I have my friends on this site to walk me through this.  Love to all on this site.

[Anonymous]

1 comment (Friday 6/9/23)

Dear Carol @CarolD435501 how are you TODAY? 🤔

Grief & Loss Team 🤎🤗

[MarcyW882921]

I was thinking about Carol @CarolD435501 today too!

Marcy

[Anonymous]

(4 comments) One Step At A Time! 🤎🤗

[Cadee2719]

Hi Nicole.  Today I donated several bags of my husband medical supplies and some of his clothes.  I hope someone can use them.  One more step taken.    Sunday, went to lunch with two friends and it was really nice to get out of the house.  I originally thought of making an excuse as to why I could not go, but was glad that I did.  I found that it really made my day.  My grandson will return from college next week and it will be so nice to see him again.  I know that I have to begin living my life but I shy away from the attempts to do so.  I need to try harder.  I hope that everyone is doing well.

[MarcyW882921]

It's so good to hear from you @Cadee2719! This is a great day for you! Donating some things to benefit others, getting out socially, and looking forward to your grandson's visit. Take it easy on yourself...I think you are doing just fine. 🙂

[jonibee]

Just checking in to say hello and hope everyone is doing well with dealing with loss...It will be seven months tomorrow which also is my 81st birthday...I am or have been trying to tie up loose ends ..things started but not completed on house maintenance..Things that had to be shelved because of the  care taking and passing of my husband...I have to thank those who allowed me a grieving time but like all things we must start to move forward with little steps ...There have been set backs but nothing remains the same and I have learned by my experiences..Hopefully each day will improve over the last..some days are easier than others but I try to keep busy and remember the good times and memories made with each other..Now to get things going on the home front again.

[mc6844]

I identify with the house situation. Having had to put house maintenance on hold too. But I'm getting caught up. It's good to know we can get it done. Just don't pull a muscle like I did!  Take care. After all, the houses will be here after us!

[Anonymous]

(4 comments) Dear Carol, WE are here IF you need us!

So sorry for your loss!!! 😭

Grief & Loss Team 🤎🤗

[CarolD435501]

It is so hard,,,,,lost my husband of 32 years April 15th 2023....some days I seem to go forward,,,and then I fall back more days then I gained.....How long do I have to feel this,,,,no one knows,,,,but talking the others may help.../.

[mc6844]

Carol, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so recent. The people in this group will help you. The group focus on loss is different and specific to need, as opposed to other self-help groups. What you're probably feeling now is a struggle to gain footing in your changing world. It's a process. A feeling of starting all over like the first day in a new class. Or going to camp for the first time as a kid. Everything, however, is temporary in life. Easy to forget when we've lived in places for long lengths of time. Please keep sharing. Expressing your feelings will help you to feel better and move forward a little at a time. Take care!

[MarcyW882921]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband! This is a club none of us wanted to join but here we are members anyway. Unfortunately there is no time line for what you are feeling. Be gentle with yourself. This is definitely more like a marathon journey than a sprint. Praise yourself on the days you are moving forward.  On the days you feel you are falling back, allow yourself to grieve and respond as a human being who lost the love of her life .

We are here for you!

[BeatleloverKT]

@CarolD435501 I am so sorry for your loss.

I lost my husband in 2018 and you are exactly where I was in the beginning. Some days you move forward, some you move back. In the beginning it’s a lot of moving back. Your loss is so current. You must not be hard on yourself. It is a process and everyone goes thru it differently. I have more good days than bad now but every now and then something will trigger an absolute meltdown. Please look on the thread about books. There’s a post by me about a book that may help you. And remember we are here for you. We are all in this together so keep posting how you’re doing 💜