🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

[Anonymous]

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***A place to share and support***

Grief & Loss Team 🤎🤗

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[Cadee2719]

In preparing my home to be sold I thought perhaps I would remodel the master bathroom.  I discovered that for JUST the shower and floor to be re-tiled AND NOTHING ELSE they wanted $21,000!!!!  (California prices). It is not a huge bathroom.  Knowing that homes in my neighborhood have been remodeled and sold and then TORN DOWN only to be remodeled again, I decided I am not going through the expense or bother to have this done.  I willl allow the new owners to do it and if that means I have to lower the price a little, so be it.  I should be interviewing realtors soon and plan to put my home on the market in late December/January.  I am anxious because homes sell at the first open house around here and I have medical appointments through 1/9 to complete and resolve.  The timing is critical and it makes me nervous.  I have "peace of mind" in my decision to move as my son will relocate with me to his new home, I have my brother and his wife there, along with a grandson and I will be leaving a place where people are being killed at the local McDonalds and mall. Nicole, I admire the fact that you picked up your life and moved to Florida to be near your daughter.  When we get older these decisions become harder to make.

[KimberlyM389662]

My house also needs a lot of work done but, this is my childhood home and my immediate family lives close, especially my Mom. She has the beginning stages of what we believe is dementia. She forgets a lot of things and that's why I will never go anywhere she isn't. Now my brother on the other hand will probably move to Florida when he retires and I don't know how he can just pack up and walk away from Mom. She is all we have had. Dad died when I was 21 and he was 18. 

[BillH490171]

Interesting day for me as I signed the burial agreement to have my wife's ashes placed in the niche we bought a few years ago. She'll be near her mom and other family members. Its been 6 months and I'm ready for this next step.  I'll drive up to Ohio on 12/12. The sun is shining now after a cold rainy morning. I know she would be happy and urge me to place her there.  Seems like this year is a blur at times.  

Hope you all have a great weekend and let the sun shine on your lives,  Bill

[MarcyW882921]

Thanks for sharing Bill @BillH490171. I hope knowing that your wife's ashes are near her Mom and family will make her happy and bring you peace this holiday season. Wishing you safe travel for your upcoming trip.

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

Bill, I truly understand.  I have designed and ordered my husband's grave stone.  He is near my son. My son's wife has yet to order a stone for his grave even though I offered to pay for it.  It seems like this is my attempt to "honor" them.  I know he (and my son) are really in my heart and mind and will go with me to Idaho when I move, however, I will continue to have flowers put on both graves in my absence.  I agree, this year has been a blur with my taking One Step At a Time and praying that I am doing all the right things.  I am sure your wife is smiling down at you, proud of all the decisions that you have made.

[Winter2025VA]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[MarcyW882921]

FYI - Grief Works offers free webinars every couple of weeks on Zoom. The next one is Dec. 6th at 1:00 ET and the topic is Navigating the Holidays.

Marcy

[Winter2025VA]

4 comments (Wednesday 11/29/23)

🚵‍🏊‍🎾  The Experts say EXERCISE (what YOU enjoy) will HELP us "physically, emotionally, mentally" on our HEALING JOURNEY. Any opinions? 🤔

(1) I know Marcy had mentioned TENNIS.

(2) Cadee @Cadee2719 ZUMBA.

(3) And me, daily INSIDE (yes, so NOT into the Florida Alligators who seem to be taking over 😱) WALK to Bob Marley Reggae Music and Staple Singers. I have a Chart on my wall which I "check" EACH day = so I can SEE my progress. So far, have NOT missed a day, even when I got my Pfizer Vaccine this month. 😎

▶️*** Okay, MY OPINION - yes, yes and yes!!! 👍 Has helped me in ALL 3 AREAS. Lol, but I still have days I really DO NOT want to walk but DO..... ***◀️

[Cadee2719]

NO NO NO I do not do ZUMBA!  I would be laying flat on the floor, gasping for breath.😂  I do Stretching Exercises, Strength Exercises, Balance Exercises.  However, with the leg pain I have had to stop all of them till I find out what I am dealing with.  I see the doctor on December 21st. The exercises I do are provided on line through my insurance; it is called Silver Sneakers.

[mc6844]

Zumba = instant death for me too. 😆 

[MarcyW882921]

No...I'm the Zumba gal! 🙂

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

I KNEW it would be you Marcy.  😀  Tennis player, Zumba gal.  You GO GIRL!

[Winter2025VA]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[AlisaH435648]

My sweet husband died after a difficult surgery November 6th. I don't know how to live in this big house alone, it's so quiet. The upkeep is alot. Every room has a memory and story and shared items. I feel so heavy, my arms and legs. So **bleep** sad. I worry about money, still waiting for an attorney to do thier part (filing with courts) so I can fulfil my duty set forth in his living will. I'm just damned frightened and so so sad. I suppose this isn't one challenge. It's a challenge to just be me right now...   

[Winter2025VA]

@JuliaB831263  , I hope you will stop by AGAIN! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** JULIA @JuliaB831263 wrote:

Thank you for those virtual hugs I needed today after I lost my 18 year old Alexis from a cancerous brain tumor known as "Glioblastoma" ***]

[mc6844]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Julia. The good people on the forum can help you cope. While going through grieving there is still the need to try and keep up with everyday life. Some days are just a standstill. Two steps forward, one step back. You are doing well, reaching out. Short walks, sunshine helps. Just do what you can. Take care.

[Winter2025VA]

@DianeE1958 , I hope you will stop by AGAIN! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

---

[*** DIANE @DianeE1958 wrote:

 My husband passed away on 2/22/24 and I am having a hard time emotionally.  I don't know what to do. It's like I am in a "brain fog". I need direction and I need help. Should I seek out a psychiatrist? I don't have any friends to talk to and I don't belong to any groups. I live in a tiny rural town. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thank you! ***]

[mc6844]

Diane, I'm sorry for your loss. A big loss, indeed. If you don't feel up to in person, an online counselor can be very helpful at this time. There are websites that offer free counseling. Building up a few resources can give you a sense of control and stability. Just do what you feel up to each day. Short walks, sunshine helps too. Please take care. 

[mc6844]

I'm so sorry for your loss. The good people on this site have lots of wisdom and hope and will help you.

[MarcyW882921]

Alisa @AlisaH435648 ,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet husband. Yes it probably is a challenge to be you right now because you may very well not know who you are. Your loss is so new and it takes time to figure that out. Your life changes drastically when you are no longer your husband's wife. Identify things you have control of and things that you don't. Take control of the things that you can... one step at a time... when you are ready.

Marcy

[Winter2025VA]

2 comments (Tuesday 11/28/23)

WHAT ARE YOU GRATEFUL FOR? 🤔

(Me) Just got an email from my Online Social Security Account telling me my 2024 NEW/increased Retirement Social Security AMOUNT was available. Yipee, SO GRATEFUL!!! 💃💃💃

[mc6844]

Congratulations!

[Therapist4u]

Yipee

Yipee

 Nicole's 2024 NEW Retirement Social Security AMOUNT increased....LOL!!🙂

[Winter2025VA]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[mc6844]

Thank you Nicole. Hope all of you are doing well. I'm a little slow with things lately. But try to stop in to see how you all are. Stay well, and keep on keeping on.

[Cadee2719]

Good Morning Nicole!  I read something last night saying that the November moon was a "Beaver" moon; named for the time of year when beavers retire to their dens and winter will soon be here.  I have always been fascinated by the moon, stars, sunset, sunrise and rainbows, all the the beautiful things the world has to offer us.  When my children and grandsons were little, I would buy them telescopes and we would search the sky. In my research I found that the moon is a feminine symbol, representing the rhythm of time.  The phases of the moon symbolize immortality and eternity, enlightenment or the dark side of Nature herself.  I am glad that you find the moon relaxing.  Luv you!  ❤️

[mc6844]

That is lovely, Cadee! A poet's heart. I tend to avoid places like Walmart on full moons lol

[MarcyW882921]

Cadee @Cadee2719,

You continue to amaze us!

Marcy

[mc6844]

Thank you Nicole. How are you doing? 

[Winter2025VA]

👣  1 Step At A Time!