🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

[Anonymous]

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***A place to share and support***

Grief & Loss Team 🤎🤗

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[KimberlyM389662]

Mine is reading. I have been reading since I was 5 and I also love to put puzzles together or do search words books but, I am currently struggling with my focus. They are trying new medication but I was also told that this has been an ongoing issue related to the COVID-19 virus which I had this year. Now we have a new form of pneumonia going around and guess what? This one also originated in China and has now been diagnosed in several other countries. Here we go again. 

[SummerIsTooHOT]

2 comments (Sunday 12/3/23)

Hi Kim @KimberlyM389662 !

That is why I got the most "recent" COVID shot, Pneumonia along with my "yearly" Flu Shot THIS YEAR (2023).

And unless it is MANDATORY to be INSIDE with "other" folks - I am home or outside.

Way too many BUILDINGS have NOT had Ventilation checked or properly running.

And flying, nope. Use to be a Flight Attendant (age 18 to 20) and KNOW about EVERYONE in the plane SHARING air. 🤮

[mc6844]

I see more people wearing masks again. Prob good idea. Hope everyone stays well.

[KimberlyM389662]

Me too. I got the latest bi variant vaccine and flu shot at the same time. They offered me the pneumonia shot but, I wasn't sure about 3 at 1 time. I will definitely go back to get it, especially since I got legionella pneumonia in 1995 and was in the hospital for 6 days. I was out of work for over a month. I returned the last week of February and then got pregnant with my daughter the following month. My neighbor also is getting over pneumonia and her husband has it too. Watch, we are going to end up masked up again and social distancing and hopefully this doesn't shut the country down because I don't want that old saying about avoiding religion and politics from a conversation but, I truly don't think Biden will screw this up like COVID-19. 

[SummerIsTooHOT]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[KimberlyM389662]

@SummerIsTooHOT . I am having a really rough time right now. Lots of panic attacks and I realized that I have been starting the grieving stage. It also doesn't help that I am currently in a bad place with my daughter who is very much her father's child. I am her mother and not the other way. She will wake up because she really hasn't experienced real life yet. She thinks of her pain and doesn't understand mine. It's all about her and that is exactly how her Dad was. If you have something wrong then they have something worse. It's just really frustrating and then I say things that I don't want to. 

[mc6844]

I had to chuckle a little, because raising daughters is so different than raising sons. Daughters do tend to take on their dads attributes. It's not easy keeping a sense of humor when going through tough things. I think people learn or take information in on their own timetable. I guess because we're all different in many ways. But things seem to work out. 

[Cadee2719]

Kim I, too have been dealing with a similar situation with my daughter-in-law.  She fails to realize that the husband she lost was my SON.  She dismisses the fact that I was doing Home Hospice care for my husband who died shortly after my son and brother.  She says "I was not there for her!"  She is a narcissist and ONLY cares about herself.  My solution after trying to be there for her was to END THE RELATIONSHIP.  I am now at peace.  I will continue to stay in touch with my grandson (the spitting image of my son) who I love dearly but I will not be subject to the continued disrespect from his mother.  I know it is harder to do this with a daughter, but healing is difficult enough for us and we do not have to subject ourselves to those that only continue to hurt us.  You will find that you WILL become stronger and will make decisions that are best for you.  Kim, be kind to yourself.  You are working your way through the steps of recovery.  It is a hard, long process but one that I know you will successfully complete.  You are stronger than you realize.  ❤️

[jonibee]

Words of wisdom for today..".I still miss those I loved who are no longer with me but I find am grateful for having loved them. The Gratitude has finally conquered the loss..".

taken from words of Rita Mae Brown 

[SummerIsTooHOT]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[jonibee]

Soft rocik music or Easy listening music...A dark room perhaps a shower before retiring for the night...

[SummerIsTooHOT]

2 comments (Friday 12/1/23)

🏡  Some of us have SOLD our homes or PLANNING to. Any tips to share with us?  🤔 

(My 2 cents) Try to explore [safety check] where YOU WANT to move to and try to move "nearer" to folks who CARE about you. Trust me, all of this helps to LESSEN our "stress" and hopefully gives us "peace of mind"... 💃💃💃

[Cadee2719]

In preparing my home to be sold I thought perhaps I would remodel the master bathroom.  I discovered that for JUST the shower and floor to be re-tiled AND NOTHING ELSE they wanted $21,000!!!!  (California prices). It is not a huge bathroom.  Knowing that homes in my neighborhood have been remodeled and sold and then TORN DOWN only to be remodeled again, I decided I am not going through the expense or bother to have this done.  I willl allow the new owners to do it and if that means I have to lower the price a little, so be it.  I should be interviewing realtors soon and plan to put my home on the market in late December/January.  I am anxious because homes sell at the first open house around here and I have medical appointments through 1/9 to complete and resolve.  The timing is critical and it makes me nervous.  I have "peace of mind" in my decision to move as my son will relocate with me to his new home, I have my brother and his wife there, along with a grandson and I will be leaving a place where people are being killed at the local McDonalds and mall. Nicole, I admire the fact that you picked up your life and moved to Florida to be near your daughter.  When we get older these decisions become harder to make.

[KimberlyM389662]

My house also needs a lot of work done but, this is my childhood home and my immediate family lives close, especially my Mom. She has the beginning stages of what we believe is dementia. She forgets a lot of things and that's why I will never go anywhere she isn't. Now my brother on the other hand will probably move to Florida when he retires and I don't know how he can just pack up and walk away from Mom. She is all we have had. Dad died when I was 21 and he was 18. 

[BillH490171]

Interesting day for me as I signed the burial agreement to have my wife's ashes placed in the niche we bought a few years ago. She'll be near her mom and other family members. Its been 6 months and I'm ready for this next step.  I'll drive up to Ohio on 12/12. The sun is shining now after a cold rainy morning. I know she would be happy and urge me to place her there.  Seems like this year is a blur at times.  

Hope you all have a great weekend and let the sun shine on your lives,  Bill

[MarcyW882921]

Thanks for sharing Bill @BillH490171. I hope knowing that your wife's ashes are near her Mom and family will make her happy and bring you peace this holiday season. Wishing you safe travel for your upcoming trip.

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

Bill, I truly understand.  I have designed and ordered my husband's grave stone.  He is near my son. My son's wife has yet to order a stone for his grave even though I offered to pay for it.  It seems like this is my attempt to "honor" them.  I know he (and my son) are really in my heart and mind and will go with me to Idaho when I move, however, I will continue to have flowers put on both graves in my absence.  I agree, this year has been a blur with my taking One Step At a Time and praying that I am doing all the right things.  I am sure your wife is smiling down at you, proud of all the decisions that you have made.

[SummerIsTooHOT]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[MarcyW882921]

FYI - Grief Works offers free webinars every couple of weeks on Zoom. The next one is Dec. 6th at 1:00 ET and the topic is Navigating the Holidays.

Marcy

[SummerIsTooHOT]

4 comments (Wednesday 11/29/23)

🚵‍🏊‍🎾  The Experts say EXERCISE (what YOU enjoy) will HELP us "physically, emotionally, mentally" on our HEALING JOURNEY. Any opinions? 🤔

(1) I know Marcy had mentioned TENNIS.

(2) Cadee @Cadee2719 ZUMBA.

(3) And me, daily INSIDE (yes, so NOT into the Florida Alligators who seem to be taking over 😱) WALK to Bob Marley Reggae Music and Staple Singers. I have a Chart on my wall which I "check" EACH day = so I can SEE my progress. So far, have NOT missed a day, even when I got my Pfizer Vaccine this month. 😎

▶️*** Okay, MY OPINION - yes, yes and yes!!! 👍 Has helped me in ALL 3 AREAS. Lol, but I still have days I really DO NOT want to walk but DO..... ***◀️

[Cadee2719]

NO NO NO I do not do ZUMBA!  I would be laying flat on the floor, gasping for breath.😂  I do Stretching Exercises, Strength Exercises, Balance Exercises.  However, with the leg pain I have had to stop all of them till I find out what I am dealing with.  I see the doctor on December 21st. The exercises I do are provided on line through my insurance; it is called Silver Sneakers.

[mc6844]

Zumba = instant death for me too. 😆 

[MarcyW882921]

No...I'm the Zumba gal! 🙂

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

I KNEW it would be you Marcy.  😀  Tennis player, Zumba gal.  You GO GIRL!

[SummerIsTooHOT]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[AlisaH435648]

My sweet husband died after a difficult surgery November 6th. I don't know how to live in this big house alone, it's so quiet. The upkeep is alot. Every room has a memory and story and shared items. I feel so heavy, my arms and legs. So **bleep** sad. I worry about money, still waiting for an attorney to do thier part (filing with courts) so I can fulfil my duty set forth in his living will. I'm just damned frightened and so so sad. I suppose this isn't one challenge. It's a challenge to just be me right now...   

[mc6844]

I'm so sorry for your loss. The good people on this site have lots of wisdom and hope and will help you.

[MarcyW882921]

Alisa @AlisaH435648 ,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet husband. Yes it probably is a challenge to be you right now because you may very well not know who you are. Your loss is so new and it takes time to figure that out. Your life changes drastically when you are no longer your husband's wife. Identify things you have control of and things that you don't. Take control of the things that you can... one step at a time... when you are ready.

Marcy

[SummerIsTooHOT]

2 comments (Tuesday 11/28/23)

WHAT ARE YOU GRATEFUL FOR? 🤔

(Me) Just got an email from my Online Social Security Account telling me my 2024 NEW/increased Retirement Social Security AMOUNT was available. Yipee, SO GRATEFUL!!! 💃💃💃

[mc6844]

Congratulations!