🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

[Anonymous]

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***A place to share and support***

Grief & Loss Team 🤎🤗

📸clipart attached📸

[MarcyW882921]

From your lips Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy !

🤗❤️

[jonibee]

Just an update as to my conditon of tx for carpal tunnel..i was suppose to go and have hands assessed to see if a shot was necessary but due to raise in blood sugar levels to the danger zone it wasn't done..I have to go on meds to bring it down to levels that stabalize ...i was told I have type 2 diabetes so this is a new curve thrown at me and i now have to deal with this which I will..I am a Carbs person and when emotions gnaw at you it's so easy to turn to sweets which is only a temporary fix..I have been dealing with the sugar issue blood levels for the last two years because of stress and this is the end result.Hopefully all will come to where I'm suppose to be...Thank you to those who remembered me this past week on the anniversary of my husbands passing...

[MarcyW882921]

Jonibee @jonibee.

Thinking of you and I'm sorry that you are having to deal with all of these kicks while you are already down. I guess all you can do is follow doctor's orders that seem to be prioritizing what is the most crucial at this time. I hope the medication does what is is expected to do without adding any additional complications.

Marcy

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

1 comment (Thursday 11/9/23)

Thanks Marcy @MarcyW882921 💙💙💙

Lol, I cleaned house in my REAL AND ONLINE lives = everyone on PROBATION! 🤣😂

On the SERIOUS side, I am NOT as NEEDY as I was THIS YEAR and EXCITED about what is in store for me. 💃💃💃

Luv you,

Nicole 🤗

---

✏@MarcyW882921 wrote:

Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy,

Reading your post about living humans in your life reminded me of a chapter in a book I am reading. The book is Build the Life You Want by Arthur C. Brooks & Oprah Winfrey. There is a chapter about friends and they are described in two categories "real and deal." Your real friends are those close friends that you confide in and the relationship endures and the deal friends are ones that serve a purpose in your life (or maybe you serve a purpose in their life) for a period of time and then it ends.

You described the process well. Identify who these people are and how they fit into your life. If their purpose or your purpose is over, it is ok to let go. If however they are someone that you respect, admire, confide in, trust, etc., invest the time and energy to maintain that relationship over time.

Marcy✏

---

[Therapist4u]

Hi Nicole! Hope you’re doing well!

BTW: How much longer will I have to be ....on PROBATION?!?!!

 LOL!!

Take care!  🍂🍁🍂☮️  ~Allen 🌈🍂🍁🍂

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

1 comment (Thursday 11/9/23)

Hi Bill @BillH490171 , SO GOOD to hear from YOU!!! 💃💃💃

Luv you,

Nicole 🤗

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✏@BillH490171 wrote:

Good morning and hope everyone is enjoying this day.  Here in southwest VA, the leaves have turned and are falling like crazy.  I'll be out some raking and moving them around some.  

As we move into the holiday season, this will be the first one without my spouse for myself and my kids.  I've read some ideas on how to deal with this "first" in the year of firsts.  I plan to be away from my house, busy as I can be, and then celebrate Thanksgiving with 3 of my 4 kids on Friday.

Anyone have any tips that worked for you in getting through the holidays?

Take care, Bill ✏

---

[mc6844]

That is a good idea Bill. Holidays don't have to be celebrated on the exact day. And not everyone can get together on the same day. I'm sorry for your loss Bill. And I know its painful without your person. However I'm sure your kids are grateful and happy to still have their Dad. Stay hopeful. I'm sure good things are on the horizon for all of you!

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

2 comments (Thursday 11/9/23)

I AM THINKING OF YOU TODAY! 💙💙💙

Bill @BillH490171 

[BillH490171]

Good morning and hope everyone is enjoying this day.  Here in southwest VA, the leaves have turned and are falling like crazy.  I'll be out some raking and moving them around some.  

As we move into the holiday season, this will be the first one without my spouse for myself and my kids.  I've read some ideas on how to deal with this "first" in the year of firsts.  I plan to be away from my house, busy as I can be, and then celebrate Thanksgiving with 3 of my 4 kids on Friday.

Anyone have any tips that worked for you in getting through the holidays?

Take care, Bill 

[MarcyW882921]

Bill @BillH490171,

Last year was my first batch of holidays without my husband. In recent years I have always cooked dinner and often invited friends who were alone or packed up food to take to them. Last year I invited a couple who were friends of ours and were going to spend Thanksgiving alone. The male in the couple was sick that day and couldn't come to dinner so it ended up being just me and his significant other. It actually was a very nice dinner. A year later and now that man has passed away too and it is going to be us two women once again. My strategy was to keep things as close to my normal routine as possible because that is where my comfort lies. This grief thing is all individual and you just have to find things that work for you.

Marcy

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

1 comment (Wednesday 11/8/23)

I am Walmart but had to say THANKS for the pictures 💙🐕🐶 Kim @KimberlyM389662 !!! 💃💃💃

Lol, finally HE IS AWAKE 😂🤣

Luv you,

Nicole 🤗

📸  Mom Kim has attached 2 pictures of Our Boy  📸

---

✏@KimberlyM389662 wrote:

Nicole, I am sorry that I haven't posted anything in a while. I have just been dealing with everything and trying to not drown in. It's been building and building up and I just some days feel like I am barely holding my breath and head above the waves. It's just one after another. I am trying my best to make sure my son has everything and everyone he needs. I have some really great friends and neighbors that are supportive and helpful. On a positive note, I have attached 2 new pictures of our mascot taken this morning. I took him to PetSmart with me last week. We put him on a scale and at 5 months he weighed 39.2 pounds. I hope these pictures cheer all of us up at least a little bit today because let's face it, if there is nothing else that can make you smile it's a puppy face. I just ask if everyone could just send some prayers my way and when I am ready I will privately message you about everything that's been going on. Here's our beautiful boy. 

✏

---

[mc6844]

 looks very cute!

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

2 comments (Wednesday 11/8/23)

🚗🚘  My Out Of Food Walmart Run TODAY!

See you later....

[KimberlyM389662]

Nicole, I am sorry that I haven't posted anything in a while. I have just been dealing with everything and trying to not drown in. It's been building and building up and I just some days feel like I am barely holding my breath and head above the waves. It's just one after another. I am trying my best to make sure my son has everything and everyone he needs. I have some really great friends and neighbors that are supportive and helpful. On a positive note, I have attached 2 new pictures of our mascot taken this morning. I took him to PetSmart with me last week. We put him on a scale and at 5 months he weighed 39.2 pounds. I hope these pictures cheer all of us up at least a little bit today because let's face it, if there is nothing else that can make you smile it's a puppy face. I just ask if everyone could just send some prayers my way and when I am ready I will privately message you about everything that's been going on. Here's our beautiful boy. 

2.5 MB of 2.5 MB

[mc6844]

Thank you for posting Kimberly. He definitely is a beautiful pup! Glad he's with you and hope you get to feeling better.

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

1 comment (Tuesday11/7/23)

⏰  WITH TIME...

Living "humans" come into our lives for a SEASON AND A REASON.

Some STAY, some LEAVE.

Just KNOW, that ONE DAY/NIGHT we will UNDERSTAND why.

Took me a YEAR to figure this out. Spent way TOO MUCH time TRYING to "hang onto" humans who needed to EXIT my life!

Their EXIT was because THEIR season/reason had EXPIRED or they were NO LONGER/HAVE NEVER been "destined" to be in your life.

It is a FREEING feeling once we realize this and it ALSO "encourages" us to IMPROVE upon our "relationships" - old, new and potential.

So get out there. Be BRAVE. YOU can do it!!!! 😎

[MarcyW882921]

Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy,

Reading your post about living humans in your life reminded me of a chapter in a book I am reading. The book is Build the Life You Want by Arthur C. Brooks & Oprah Winfrey. There is a chapter about friends and they are described in two categories "real and deal." Your real friends are those close friends that you confide in and the relationship endures and the deal friends are ones that serve a purpose in your life (or maybe you serve a purpose in their life) for a period of time and then it ends.

You described the process well. Identify who these people are and how they fit into your life. If their purpose or your purpose is over, it is ok to let go. If however they are someone that you respect, admire, confide in, trust, etc., invest the time and energy to maintain that relationship over time.

Marcy

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[tttttt]

I’m so lonely without Ron. It hurts my heart.

I leave our place to run an errand and then come home to Ron not being there. When does it stop hurting. I can’t imagine it will.thank God for our 2 fur babies.they comfort me and sleep with me.

[mc6844]

Im so sorry your missing your Ron. Holiday season can make the missing more intense. I try to keep things simple. Knowing that going through loss isn't easy. But with loss there's also growth.For your Ron where he is. And where you are. Have you looked at the Signs From Loved Ones topic on the forum? I believe our deceased loved ones are closer than we think. More will be revealed as we travel this journey. Take care, and look for the ways Ron speaks to your heart.

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[MarcyW882921]

Things that have helped me include: family, friends, singing in a chorus, being out in nature, reading, attending a bereavement group,  interacting with people on the Grief & Loss forum, volunteering in the community, and reigniting my spirituality (not in a hierarchical order.)

Marcy

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

1 comment (Sunday 11/5/23)

Marcy @MarcyW882921 , you have YOUR HOUR back!!! 💃

And I have my TISSUES ready for when SUNSET is at 5pm EST tonight. 😭

I hope EVERYONE got some "rest" LAST NIGHT....

I did and GRATEFUL! 😎

Hey, about time after ALL THOSE NIGHTS lately of NO REST. Feeling NORMAL, well - whatever normal is these days. But let's say - feeling SANE. 👍 I do not function at all with NO SLEEP!

Find YOUR peace TODAY...

[MarcyW882921]

Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy ,

Woo hoo! I'm glad to have my hour back and was feeling grateful to wake up and have light outside.

Thinking of you and hoping you are getting your daughter fix today.

Marcy

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

1 comment (Sunday 11/5/23)

I AM THINKING OF YOU TODAY! 💙💙💙

MC @mc6844 

[mc6844]

Thank you Nicole! Have a good day.

[mc6844]

Thank you Nicole. Wishing you well, and all on the site well, too!

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[KimberlyM389662]

Extreme anger is my challenge. I am very angry that he left his children. Our daughter is getting married next year and our son is adult profoundly autistic. I either want to throw and break things or scream until I can't speak anymore. I'm not sure that anyone knows that I have a physical mental health illness. There is something wrong with my amygdala. The amygdala is a paired structure (the two are considered one brain area) inside your temporal lobe. It's a key part of emotional control and processes. It also plays a role in memory and learning. Either way I go from panic attacks to extreme crying fits which also causes me to panic. I just don't know what I want to do anymore except stay away from people but then again I feel these walls are closing in on me. I am also angry because I want to be able to do normal things around the house and can't because of my back and complications. I'm afraid they are going to operate again and then who is going to take care of my son. My daughter has her own life and already has more than enough on her plate and my Mom is starting to lose her memory. 

[JaneCares]

Hi Kimberly. You do have so much going on. Your husband passed on in January, 2023, right? From your posts, it sounds like you live in Maryland, and you have a therapist. Also, i can just imagine how many appointments you have for medical providers for you and your son. All of this is a very heavy burden, and it sounds like the strain of that burden expresses itself in anger. Very understandable! 

I hope for you the following:

* that you have friends, other family, a faith community, and / or other connections with other people who help you and help you to know you are not alone in all this

* that your husband left you some life insurance or some other assets to help support you and your son

* that perhaps you know of a system of care for your son; my guess is you are an expert in programs and resources for young men like your son. And even though these resources are inadequate, you can 'work the system' on his behalf so that he gets the care he needs, and that you are not alone in caring for him. Because as you know better than anyone, you will not be around him forever. 

* that your therapist and you are working on a plan to help you take care of yourself AND your son in a way that is compassionate, practical, do-able. 

* and that at least part of what you talk about with your therapist is the chronic stress that is feeding your rage.

You do not have to be alone in all of this. You post in this group. You have a therapist. You are old enough to have lots of wisdom and stories of survivorship. You've met challenges before. This is not your first rodeo.

What are the next one or two steps you can take toward your goals? Despite the broken body and the exhaustion, you have a right to dream and hope. What can you move toward? You are extraordinary. What next?

With respect and in appreciate for all you are, in anticipation for all that lies ahead,

Jane