🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

[Anonymous]

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***A place to share and support***

Grief & Loss Team 🤎🤗

📸clipart attached📸

[SueS788527]

Hi, Nicole, always good hearing from you even if you are where you are, same as many of us.  I am finding it hard to find that inner peace myself and I also don't wake up fully rested either.  As you said, one day at a time.  We are in charge of our emotions and actions.  I like your idea of a Self-Care Day.  What do you have in mind?  It sounds like a winning way to positively recharge.  Have a relaxing day, your friend, Sue 💞

[SummerIsTooHOT]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[MarcyW882921]

I am not a group kind of person, but a widower friend of mine said he had been to a group and found it to be helpful. In addition, my husband was a believer in the group process and used to run his own groups so I thought I would give it a try. I thought the worst that could happen is I wouldn't like it so I would leave and not go back. The people in the group and the group facilitator were so welcoming and nobody put any pressure on me to tell my story, participate, etc. I found it to be a safe place among people who have a common bond of trying to survive a loss. The group will officially end before the end of the year, but the support and friendship will continue.🤗❤️

[SueS788527]

Hi, Marcy, I had a similar experience with trying a grief support group as well.  If the fit is right, which it can be, I totally agree that you can receive a lot of support and comfort in a very safe environment.  That means a lot.  My group, which is sponsored by a local Hospice, is superb and keeps on providing vital support to all of us, even as new members join in.  Everyone is welcome.  We also meet once a month for lunch and that has been a good way to get to know each other and have something to look forward to.  Glad you found your group and that it will continue. Every bit of the right support is critical.  Sue 🍀

[SummerIsTooHOT]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[MarcyW882921]

Same to you @SummerIsTooHOT! I will be ready for some reading and sleep soon too.

Marcy

[SummerIsTooHOT]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[MarcyW882921]

Thanks Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT. I think faith is an important component to include for consideration in the mourning process. It can definitely provide a source of comfort and help to put things in perspective. If faith is associated with a faith-based institution, the mourner is also able to gain support and comfort through the clergy members and broader community within the institution.

Marcy

[SummerIsTooHOT]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[KM547318]

hello Nichole,

Yes I am approaching a 2 month anniversary and Im still looking to run away to get away from all the memories staying here in this house.  At my age that is ridiculous and probably a death sentence because of all the stress of moving

(plus losing my spouse). My daughter in law was here yesterday and helped throw out things. Is there any place to go to hide from the pain and confusion? Im thinking the outdoors help and maybe thats where I should be- gardening and such.  

Im sorry for all that are dealing with a loss. God helps us and so does this forum.

[mc6844]

I agree about the outdoors. Just getting the air and the sun is such a blessing. Having a little patch of flowers or plants on patio or doorstep. It's an easy to manage diversion. I've moved probably for the last time. Too old to go through that again. And I'm reminded of what I read someplace "wherever you go you take yourself with you." It's what I told my kids. They never liked to hear it. Lol Regarding the decluttering I've already downsized. Gave the kids and their spouses all the stuff. 

[SummerIsTooHOT]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[Cadee2719]

Beautiful Nicole.   You are a love. ♥️

[BillH490171]

Good afternoon, hope you all are doing well today.  I went to a grief support meeting last week.  I was the only widower sitting with 6 widows.  They are all inspirational for me.  

The topic of loving someone again came up and several folks mentioned that they could not do that again because of the fear of losing someone again.  After thinking about this notion, it made me sad. 

How does that idea make you feel?

For me, I've got 25 years of great living left and I don't want to go it alone.

Bill

[JenniferB25215]

For me, down the road because he just passed a week ago, but I know i am going to be very lonely and would love someone to be with. My issue is I am well past physical desire, menopause took care of that. How can you look for a partner when you don't want sex...cuddling, sure...but not sex.

[MarcyW882921]

It may sound like an ideal plan for those who are grieving to say they are going to avoid love out of a fear of loss. However, there is a quote when it is read and thought through may bring up some potential issues with the plan.

"To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness." --Erich Fromm

We will all work through this in our own way so I think the important thing is how the idea makes you feel. 

Marcy

[BeatleloverKT]

I’ve been married twice. First one ended in 

divorce, second one when he passed. I don’t 

ever want to put my heart out there again. It’s 

been broken too many times, more then I can

count. I have many blessings in my life and

many who I love and love me. Just loving

another man is not in my plans. Best of luck

to you, I hope you find what you’re looking for 

[Cadee2719]

I am at a stage of my life that being married for 61 years was a blessing.  However, I no longer feel that I need a man in my life.  For the first time, I will discover who "I" am.  I always  tease my son saying "I do not wish to train another man."  🤣  You, Bill are young and I think it is important for men to have companionship and a partner to share their life with.    You have to complete your mourning, get emotionally strong again and put yourself out there.  I must admit "out there" is a frightening place in today's society.   I wish you much luck and happiness.

[SummerIsTooHOT]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[MarcyW882921]

Nicole @ NicoleW439658 , Tomorrow will mark the 10-month anniversary of my husband's departure from his life here with us.🥲💔

Marcy

[MarcyW882921]

Thanks Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT . I appreciate the hugs! 🤗

[BeatleloverKT]

@MarcyW882921 Thinking of you on this difficult day. Hoping the good memories and prayers by us will guide you thru 💜🙏

[MarcyW882921]

Thank You BeatleloverKT @BeatleloverKT ! I truly appreciate your thoughtful support and I am going to get through this day.❤️🙏🏻

[SummerIsTooHOT]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[MarcyW882921]

Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT , So far my only plan is to play tennis in the morning if the weather cooperates. I got rained out this morning and substituted an online Zumba class.

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

Z U M B A!!!!!   🤣  My classes are Balance, Beginner's Yoga, Classic with very light weights and stretch bands and Gentle Stretch.   YOU GO GIRL!!!!

[BillH490171]

Outstanding words of support and wisdom.  I friend of mine from the Netherlands told me "know that you never have that path to walk alone"  when I told him that my wife passed.  It true we're all walking hand in hand (in person or virtually).  Take care my friends..

Bill

[SummerIsTooHOT]

👣  1 Step At A Time!

[mc6844]

Dates of remembrance, conversations etc. all bring out the grief of losses. Sometimes quite suddenly. I was talking to someone yesterday and I could've sworn I was talking and laughing with my deceased sister. Gone over 20 yrs now. My heart still hurts every time I think of her. I acknowledge these times of vulnerability, let the grief flow and get on with my day. It's hard to tell if I'm feeling sorry for those that are gone, or for myself. I don't like to dwell on the past. So pretty quickly get back to the present. But it might be a little easier at my age, 73. So much is in the past. I'm grateful to have peace. The days seem to take care of themselves.

[MarcyW882921]

Mc @mc6844 . Thanks for sharing this really important message. These things happen suddenly and we react or respond to them often without thinking or controlling. I love that you acknowledge your vulnerability and grief, but also don't dwell in that space. You mention getting back to the present and that is the mindfulness of bringing yourself into the moment.  Information about triggers, feelings, and coping strategies is so beneficial!