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Re: Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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Message 21 of 223

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Re: Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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Message 22 of 223

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Re: Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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Message 23 of 223

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Re: Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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Message 24 of 223
Signs that you have grown up, not just old!

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog/cat Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps from noon to 6 PM.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 a.m. would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate her instead of asking "How did that Happen!!?!
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old self. 

 

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Re: Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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Message 25 of 223

Dear Dave,

I remember every last thing on that list.  So I guess I am officially older than dirt!

Thank you, D-a-v-i-d!!!

 

 

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Re: Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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Message 26 of 223

79224382_1972938182852746_4216668238307655680_n.jpg

I got all  17!

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Re: Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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Message 27 of 223

Old-Timer Woes

At a nursing home in Florida, a group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their aches and pains.  "My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.

 

"I know what you mean.  My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my coffee," replied another.

 

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a third, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.

 

"My blood pressure pills make me dizzy," another contributed.

 

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.

 

Then there was a short moment of silence.

 

"Well, it's not that bad," said one woman cheerfully.

 

"Thank God we can all still drive."

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Re: Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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Message 28 of 223

I keep hoping we could get more people posting or giving Kudos to those that do post! 

 

Are you out there!Are you out there!79387341_1359380137576613_5292137369305088000_n.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Re: Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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Message 29 of 223

78952600_10221037225229901_2122558926284128256_o.jpg

 

Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day!

 

Click Link: http://pearlharborevents.com/about/

 

75th-commemoration-2.jpg 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Re: Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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Message 30 of 223

Not sure why the writer felt the expletives were needed in this!

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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