Funny Stories and Life Experiences

[DaveMcK]

New topic featuring funny stories. 

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade…
So remember this story the next time …

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
" Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked,
and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job,
and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door
and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: “Who screwed up your hair?”

 ‐‐------------------------

[DaveMcK]

LIFE IS SHORT, SO ENJOY IT!
The day barely starts, and suddenly it’s evening. Monday turns into Friday, and before we know it, the year is almost over. Time flies, and we lose loved ones—parents, friends—until we realize it’s too late to turn back.

So, let’s make the most of the time we have left. Find joy in the things we love, add color to our grey days, and appreciate the small moments that fill our hearts with love.

Let’s stop putting things off. Waiting for “later” means missing the best moments—family time, friendships, experiences. "Later" isn't guaranteed.

Life moves fast: priorities shift, health fades, kids grow, parents age, promises are forgotten. One day, it’s too late to do what we should have done or said.

The time is now. The day is today. Life is a short trip—so live it fully while you can, because there’s no turning back.

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

I have eaten everything on this list at some point in my life. Yes I like somethings more than others.

How about you?

[KellytheBelly]

Yes, I've tried them all. 1 point for every food item I wouldn't eat? Hmmm.

20 Years Ago: 0. Presently: 21.  (*^ ‿ ⁢*)

_____________________________________________________________________

---

@DaveMcK wrote ‎09-24-2024 12:05 PM:

I have eaten everything on this at some point in my life. Yes I like somethings more than others.

How about you?

---

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

---

@DaveMcK wrote:

New topic featuring funny stories. 

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade…
So remember this story the next time …

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
" Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked,
and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job,
and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door
and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: “Who screwed up your hair?”

--------------------------

---

---

@DaveMcK wrote:

New topic featuring funny stories. 

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade…
So remember this story the next time …

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
" Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked,
and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job,
and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door
and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: “Who screwed up your hair?”

‐----------------------

---

@DaveMcK wrote:

New topic featuring funny stories. 

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade…
So remember this story the next time …

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
" Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked,
and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job,
and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door
and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: “Who screwed up your hair?”

---

Thank you, Don, for asking me to reply to your humorous question.

Shall I inform you of the time I stuck a TV dinner in that newfangled contraption called a microwave? You do realize they used to package these TV dinners in aluminum trays. Right?

Should I write about the time I placed the tea kettle on the stove, so I could make a cup of coffee, then promptly forgot the kettle was on the stove? The Fire Department helped me peel my copper-bottomed kettle off the burner. Why do you think they invented Smoke Alarms?

How about the time I conquered my preadolescent fears and succeeded in accomplishing a fine dive off our high school three-meter board? I broke the surface of the water quite proud of myself, only to discover my swimming trunks floating about ten feet away from me.

What about the time I wanted to make a toasted peanut butter sandwich and needed to buy a new toaster…to go along with my new microwave, and my new tea kettle?…And my new smoke alarm.

I never received any instructions to accompany Mom’s newest addition to my athletic wardrobe, quaintly known as the Jock Strap. I was an incoming high school freshman, suiting up for my very first class in Physical Education. Allow me the opportunity to assure Freshman boys Athletic Supporters are not worn on the head. At least that’s what my angry coach told me. (I’m still not too sure if he was angry at my stupidity, or at the student who told me Jock Straps are worn like a hat.)

Then, there was the time I buried a penny about an inch deep in well-cultivated soil. For weeks, I faithfully watered and weeded, hoping against hope. Dad taught me a valuable lesson.

“Jimmy? There is no such thing as a Money Tree!”

Then, there was the time when another young man introduced me to Chewing Tobacco. I chewed it. I swallowed it, and promptly vomited all over the asphalt. It was then that I learned Chewing Tobacco is not a Dark Green Leafy Vegetable.

How about the time Brian and I decided to “dig to China”, uncovered our septic tank, and promptly fell in? We could have sworn we heard people chattering in Chinese. Not only did we have take a bath, Mom had to disinfect our bathtub when we were done…and it wasn’t even Saturday night, yet.

I’m sorry, my friend. I just can’t seem to think of anything funny that ever happened to me. I guess my sense of humor became dampened in this rainstorm we’re receiving.

I guess it’s true, what people are saying. There are three kinds of people in this world.

There are people who make things happen.

There are people who sit back and watch things happen.

And there are a few of us few poor souls who scratch our heads and wonder just what in the Hell happened?

I hope you have a wonderful holiday season, my friend.

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

1. You may have heard about what happened to the little boy in the middle of this picture.
   He cuts grass to make extra money.
   He calls his company Mr. Reggie’s Lawn Service.
   Recently a woman hired him to cut her grass.
   And the woman next door called police on him.
   The reason:
   Because he accidentally cut some of her grass.
   (The lines between the two yards weren't clear)
   I know.. it’s ridiculous.
   But this is a story about what happened next.
   And I promise it will put a smile on your face.
   Joe Revay (on the left) saw the story and was so "pissed" that he decided to do something for Reggie.
   This is what his wife posted:
   I'm not much of a 'bragger' but I'm going to brag! Lol.
   My husband is one of the most sweetest, kindest, selfless and humble men I've ever known.
   A little boy on the news in Maple Heights was mowing lawns and had the police called on him for, "mowing a piece of the neighbors lawn", smh.
   We were so pissed.
   Here's a 12 year old (and his siblings) trying to make some money and keep busy, so my husband decided to step in.
   You don't discourage kids or anyone doing the right thing!!
   Especially in todays world.
   My husband, owning a landscaping business decided to reach out to his mother and help him out with some equipment (a blower, etc) to make it easier for him to do these lawns.
   What I wonderful young man and family!
   God bless them!!
   And I'm so blessed to call this man my husband!! 💙
   Be kind and always spread love!
   --Shawn Revay
   As one person wrote afterward:
   “That’s how u make America Great.”
   Yup.
   I couldn’t agree more.

Credit to the respective owner

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

EXERCISES FOR SENIORS

You know how important exercise is, as we grow older. Here are a few suggestions. I start by standing outside behind the house and, with a five-pound potato sack in each hand, extend my arms straight out to my sides and hold them there as long as I can.

After a few weeks, I moved up to 10-pound potato sacks, then 50-pound potato sacks and finally I got to where I could lift a 100-pound potato sack in each hand and hold my arms straight out for more than a full minute!

Next, I started putting a few potatoes IN the sacks, but I would caution you not to overdo it at this level.

[DaveMcK]

STINGY OLD LAWYER

A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the old saying, “You can’t take it with you.

After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance-chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died.

He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed.

His plan: When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven. Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer’s wife, up in the attic cleaning came upon the two forgotten pillowcases stuffed with cash.

“Oh, that old fool,” she exclaimed. “I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement.”

[DaveMcK]

July 21, 2024 marks National Ice Cream Day, and many places are offering freebies and deals to celebrate the day. The day is actually a federally-recognized day, being formally recognized by then-President Ronald Reagan in 1984.

Wisconsin's favorite ice cream flavor shouldn't surprise you. What is your favorite flavor? Mine is mint chocolate chip!

MADISON, Wis. -- In honor of National Ice Cream Day, a new Google search analysis by Affordable Seating on Tuesday revealed the most popular ice cream flavors in Wisconsin.

Affordable Seating representative Ross Williams said five Google search variations were used to find Wisconsinites' favorite flavors, including "[flavor] ice cream," "[flavor] ice cream near me," and "[flavor] ice cream recipe." The top five favorite flavors were ranked from highest to lowest monthly search volume. Wisconsin's winning flavor, in true Midwestern fashion, was Blue Moon.

Following Blue Moon, Affordable Seating said Wisconsin's other favorite flavors included Superman (#2), Neapolitan (#3), Vanilla (#4), and Spumoni (#5). Blue Moon won the state by a landslide, beating out Superman by over 1,000 more Google searches.

Affordable Seating data shows the rest of the U.S. may not follow Wisconsin's Blue Moon hype. Nationally, Blue Moon ranks 11th on the list, beaten out by more classic flavors like vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry.

[DaveMcK]

Lesson 2

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish” “Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone. “Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone. “OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

[DaveMcK]

I recently found these great stories on line that not only are a little humorous but also have very good “morals of the story.” Please note..while I am not a big fan of certain language, in the case of a I couple of these stories, they just fit perfectly. Enjoy!

Leason 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…

“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

[DaveMcK]

WE WERE A GENERATION THAT WILL NEVER COME BACK.
A generation that walked to school and then walked back.
A generation that did their homework alone to get out asap to play in the street.
A generation that spent all their free time in the streets with their Friends.
A generation that played hide and seek when dark.
A generation that made mud cakes.
A generation that collected sports cards.
A generation that found, collected and washed & Returned empty coke bottles to the local grocery store for 5 cents each , then bought a Mountain Dew and candy bar with the money.
A generation that made paper toys with their bare hands.
A generation who bought vinyl albums to play on record players.
A generation that collected photos and albums of clippings of their life experiences as a Kid.
A generation that played board games and cards on rainy days.
A generation whose TV went off at midnight after playing the National Anthem.
A generation that had parents who were there.
A generation that laughed under the covers in bed so parents didn't know we were still awake.
A generation that is passing and unfortunately it will never return no matter how hard we try.
I loved Growing up when I did. it was the best of times.

[DaveMcK]

Life Sentence
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, and he appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
What’s the matter dear?, she whispers as she steps into the room. Why are you sitting down here this time of the night? The husband looks up from his coffee, Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16? he asks solemnly. Yes, I do she replies.
The husband paused, the words were not coming easily. Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?. Yes I remember, said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued. Do you remember when he shoved the double barrel shotgun in my face and said, “Either you marry my daughter, or I’ll send you to jail for 20 years.” Yes I remember that too. She whispered softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said,
“I would be getting out today”!
Author Unknown

[DaveMcK]

• Who remembers this afternoon tv show from our youth

[KellytheBelly]

American Bandstand Love! Dick Clark was the best host! ❤️

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.
Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper 😁😁😁

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

Did you have one of these on the playground where you went to grade school?

[DaveMcK]

Tomorrow we remember those that "GAVE THEIR ALL"!

[DaveMcK]

A rich young woman sat beside a poor elderly man on a plane. She alerted the flight attendant upon taking her seat.
The flight attendant answered warmly, when the woman abruptly said, “Please find me another seat immediately.” The flight attendant responded, “I’m sorry Ma’am, but the economy cabin is fully booked.”
The rich woman replied, “But I’m not going to travel beside a worthless bum. Do something.”
While the elderly man stared in disbelief, the flight attendant responded, “I’ll talk to the Captain about this.”
The flight attendant went to the Captain and asked, “Captain, a woman feels uncomfortable sitting beside a poor elder man. What should we do?”
Surprisingly, the Captain’s face changed. He looked amused and said, “This woman is interesting. I’ve never encountered an issue like this before. I have a plan. Listen..”
And the Captain relayed to the flight attendant what he wants to do. The flight attendant was stunned at his plan. In fact, she was amazed.
A few minutes later, the flight attendant returned. “The Captain said we could use an open seat in First Class. He also wants to apologize for having to travel with such a terrible person.”
As the woman rose out of her seat, the flight attendant reached out her arm towards the poor elderly man. “Sir will you please follow me?” To which the plane applauded.
Never look down on other people. We are all equal in God’s sight. Regardless of what you have achieved in life, stay humble. Keep your feet on the ground. The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.

Image Credits goes to the respective Owner

A good one!!!

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

How many remember going to the Drive-in with curbservice?

[DaveMcK]

World Earth Day 2024: Earth Day is an annual event observed across the globe to demonstrate support for environmental protection. Earth Day reminds the world about the importance of environment conservation and sustainability, encouraging us to come together and take action for a healthier planet and brighter future. The day raises awareness and inspires change, fostering a deep connection with nature.

0

Plastic Awareness: Understanding Types and Recycling Numbers with Piperwai – PiperWai Natural Deodorant

NOVEMBER 09, 2022

WHAT ARE THE DIFFERENT TYPES OF PLASTICS AND WHY SHOULD YOU BE AWARE OF THEIR RECYCLING NUMBERS ?

Let's start with a hard-hitting fact: almost 8.3 billion tonnes of plastic have been produced since the 1950s, according to UNEP. By 2050, the plastics sector might be responsible for 20% of all oil use worldwide. That's a lot of plastic, and where does all of this newly produced plastic go? Most estimates indicate that just 9% of all plastic ever produced has been recycled. The remaining 82% resides in our bodies, the ocean, landfills, and other natural sites. Only 12% of it has been burned. Interesting, isn't it?

The meaning of the recycling number, though, is more intriguing. When you open a package or item, a small sign may be seen imprinted on the plastic. It must have escaped your notice all this time, this symbol, also known as the recycling symbol, is made up of three arrows that are frequently connected by a number. Most of us have never given it much thought, despite its significance. If we have, we most likely gave it some thought when it was time to discard the item. Which was not the ideal time, right?

Let's delve deeper into the seven main categories of plastics and how they can be recycled.

[DaveMcK]