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Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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THE MARINE PILOT

 

The teacher gave her 5th-grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back &, one by one began to tell their stories.

 

There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk & pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.

 

“Janie, do you have a story to share?”

 

“Yes, ma’am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm,

 

& her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, & all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, & a survival knife.

 

She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break, & then

 

she parachuted right into the middle of 20 enemy troops. She shot 15 of them w/the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed

 

4 more w/the knife, till the blade broke, & then she killed the last enemy soldier with her bare hands.”

 

“Good Heavens,” said the horrified teacher. “What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?”

 

“Don’t mess with Mommy when she’s been drinking.”

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Move abroad

"Moving abroad is one of the best ways to force yourself out of your comfort zone. You can learn a lot about yourself by learning to navigate a new country and culture." — Peter Jacobs

Who else had a life changing experience from a move to some place different. Mary and I both went to college, met there and got married on 1966. 

Also we both got to spend a year in Germany when I was in the Army on 1969. 59556397_10218484509363802_1193613940324564992_o.jpgFB_IMG_1510592864941.jpg

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WHAT HEAVEN’S LIKE

 

Three guys die together and go to heaven.

 

St. Peter says, “We only have one rule here: Don’t step on the ducks, as they are God’s favorite creation.”

 

They enter heaven and see ducks everywhere, and it’s almost impossible NOT to step on a duck.

 

The first guy accidentally steps on one, and soon here
comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman you’ve ever seen. St. Peter chains them together and says, “Your punishment is to be chained to this ugly woman
forever.”

 

The next day the second guy steps on a duck, and sure enough, St. Peter comes with another real ugly woman and chains them together.

 

Seeing this, the third guy is very, very careful. He goes for months and doesn’t step on any ducks.

 

Then one day, St. Peter comes along with this beautiful woman, a blue-eyed blonde, very young and very sexy. He chains them together and leaves without saying a word.

 

The man remarks, “Wow! This is great! I wonder what I did to deserve this?”

 

The Blonde says, “I don’t know about you, but I just stepped on a duck.”

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How is 2020 been for you so far! It is definitely the most challenging year ever for 

Mary, my self and our family. I find little positive about 2020. This is way beyond 1967 when I graduated college and I knew I was going to be drafted and was facing all of the unknowns of the the war years 

 

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@DaveMcK,  you made me laff out loud with this last post.  I'm going to definitely send this one around to some unsuspecting friends.  LOL

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Thanks.

Lyds

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