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Message 31 of 299

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Message 32 of 299

@DaveMcK,  you made me laff out loud with this last post.  I'm going to definitely send this one around to some unsuspecting friends.  LOL

aq.jpg

Thanks.

Lyds

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Message 33 of 299

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Message 34 of 299

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Message 35 of 299

One of my favorite plays is " Stop the world - I want to get off"!

 

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Message 36 of 299

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, "Watch that wall!"

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Message 37 of 299

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Message 38 of 299

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks,…

“Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

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Message 39 of 299

 

A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks and in on the back of the head with a frying pan. 

 

He asks, "What was that for?" She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it."

 

He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away.

 

Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.

 

He asks, "What was that for?" She answers, "Your horse called!"

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Message 40 of 299

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.

 

Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond.

 

Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.

 

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch. The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. So he asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

 

And the farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"

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