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A male patient suspected of having COVID-19 is in hospital--laying in bed, and wearing a tightly fitted oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

 

A young female student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

 

As she turns to leave, she hears him call "Nurse!" from behind the mask.  He then mumbles, "Are my testicles black?"

 

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir.  I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

 

Again, she hears him mumble, "Oh, nurse please check for me.  Are my testicles black?"

 

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassent and pulls back the covers.

 

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

 

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir.  They look perfectly fine."

 

The man shaking, slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her weakly and says very slowly, 
"Thank you very much.      That was wonderful.     Now listen very, very closely."  "Are - my- test - results - back?"

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Funny Cartoons About Getting Older | Reader's Digest

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cartoon - The most romantic love story | Visit50.com: Travel the World

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Parents do not expect much from us. They just expect that the loan ...

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Posted by Me

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Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Funny Stories and Life Experiences

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NBC to Air JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR LIVE on April 12

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NBC to Air JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR LIVE on April 12

 

NBC has announced that it will air Jesus Christ Superstar Live in Concert starring John Legend and Sara Bareilles on Sunday, April 12!

Watch a promo below!

Jesus Christ Superstar Live starred Oscar, Golden Globe, Tony and 10-time Grammy Award winner John Legend has been cast as Jesus Christ, rock legend Alice Cooper as the flamboyant King Herod and acclaimed recording artist, songwriter and Broadway star Sara Bareilles as Mary Magdalene. The cast also features Norm Lewis as Caiaphas, Jin Ha as Annas, and Jason Tam as Peter.

This NBC event will be a one-of-a kind live staging of the iconic 1971 Broadway rock opera with music by Andrew Lloyd Webberand lyrics by Tim Rice. The event will be executive produced by Andrew Lloyd Webber, Tim Rice, Marc Platt, Craig Zadan and Neil Meron.

"Jesus Christ Superstar" was originally conceived as a concept album that hit #1 on the Billboard charts, and eventually made its way to the stage in 1971. It is based on the final week of Jesus' life. The 1971 musical opened at the Mark Hellinger Theatre on Broadway and starred Jeff Fenholt as Jesus and Ben Vereen as Judas. It was nominated for five Tony Awards, including Best Performance by a Featured Actor in a Musical for Vereen. Lloyd Webber won a Drama Desk Award for Most Promising Composer.

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Subject: Coronavirus

The following is a serious composition which I think is quite thought provoking. A friend sent it to me.

The earth whispered but you did not hear.
The earth spoke but you did not listen
The earth screamed but you turned her off.
And so I was born...
I was not born to punish you..
I was born to awaken you..
The earth cried out for help...
Massive flooding. But you didn't listen.
Burning fires. But you didn't listen.
Strong hurricanes. But you didn't listen.
Terrifying Tornadoes. But you didn't listen.
You still don't listen to the earth when.
Ocean animals are dying due to pollutants in the waters.
Glaciers melting at an alarming rate.
Severe drought.
You didn't listen to how much negativity the earth is receiving.
Non-stop wars.
Non-stop greed.
You just kept going on with your life..
No matter how much hate there was..
No matter how many killings daily..
It was more important to get that latest iPhone than worry about what the earth was trying to tell you..
But now I am here.
And I've made the world stop in its tracks.
And I made the world stop...
And now...
China has better air quality.. Skys are clear blue because factories are not spewing pollution unto the earth's air.
The water in Venice is clean and Because the gondola boats that pollute the water are not being used.
YOU are having to take time to reflect on what is important in your life.
Again I am not here to punish you.. I am here to Awaken you...
When all this is over and I am gone... Please remember these moments..
Listen to the earth.
Listen to your soul.
Stop Polluting the earth.
Stop Fighting amongst each other.
Stop caring about materialistic things.
And start loving your neighbors.
Start caring about the earth and all its creatures.
Start believing in a Creator.
Because next time I may come back even stronger....
Signed,
Coronavirus..

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