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Gold Conversationalist

SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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CHURCH SIGN :

 

WHOEVER STOLE OUR  A/C UNITS, KEEP ONE.

IT'S HOT WHERE YOU'RE GOING !

Gold Conversationalist

WHOEVER STOLE OUR A/C UNITS...  KEEP ONE.

IT'S HOT WHERE YOU'RE GOING !

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RAGAMET:

 

When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

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Maxine on "Driver Safety"..... "I can't use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures."

 

Maxine on "Lawn Care"....... "The key to a nice looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless."

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Happy first day of Fall !

 

The leg-shaving season is officially over !

Recognized Social Butterfly


@BonnieC10 wrote:

Listen to the wind....

It talks.

 

Listen to the silence....

It speaks.

 

Listen to your heart....

It knows !

 

 

 

Native American Proverb

 


Love it Bonnie!

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Gold Conversationalist

Listen to the wind....

It talks.

 

Listen to the silence....

It speaks.

 

Listen to your heart....

It knows !

 

 

 

Native American Proverb

 

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Just took part in the easiest telephone survey ever...

 

The caller asked:

"Are you an alcoholic?"

 

I answered "Not yet."

 

She hung up.     Smiley Very Happy

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I was going to be a Politician for Halloween, but my head wouldn't fit up my **bleep** !

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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

 

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

 

If Barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy her friends?

 

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

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I called an old friend and asked what he was doing..

He said he was working on Aqua -Thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment.

 

I was really impressed !

 

Upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water, under his wife's supervision.   

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PLOWING :    3/15    -    6/15

 

PLANTING:    5/1     -     6/15

 

              SUMMER

 

LULL:          7/10    -     8/14

 

HARVEST:     8/15   -     11/30

 

WEDDING:    NOV.  &     DEC.

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"You cannot control the wind....

But you can control the sail..."

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If your friends can accurately guess your age...

You need to find dumber friends.

 

 

I find it helps to organize chores into categories.

Things I won't do now..

Things I won't do later..

Things I'll never do.

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We pray for understanding as to

how and why this happened.

For the strength to deal with the loss.

 

For the courage to eventually

pick up the pieces and move on with life.

For the ability to one day forgive

those responsible for this great loss.

 

May God fill our hearts with love,

help take away the sorrow,

help heal the wounds.

May the laughter of the children

help us remember that

there is still good in the world.

 

And, may the warmth of the sun

shine down upon us and

help us find our smiles again.

 

September 11, 2001

 

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Our thoughts and prayers go out today for our neighbors in the South enduring the storms .   ♥

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At the current rate of legal & illegal aliens entering this country, August 2017 will be designated white history month.

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Why is it after I push one for English,

I still can't understand the person

on the other end?

 

 

Emergency bailout....

Millions, Billions, Trillions...

Let's hope they fix it soon

We only have 23 letters

remaining in the alphabet.

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My friend ( who is very blonde ) was running around every which way, searching all around her living room. "What are you looking for?" I asked her...

"Looking for the hidden camera." she replied.

Shocked, I asked "What makes you think there is a hidden camera?"

 

"That guy on TV knows exactly what I'm doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, "You are watching the shopping channel." How does he know that ! "

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My weight problem is hereditary, it was passed down from my mouth to my stomach.

 

I have the theory that chocolate slows down the aging process.

It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance?

 

A house is made of walls and beams..

A home is built with love and dreams.

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I love flying...I've been to almost as many places as my luggage.

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Did I really throw my husband out on the street buck naked for taking a bath with bubbles?

Yes I did !  And I threw Bubbles out too.

 

 

 

   HAPPLABODAY    !

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           Butter   vs   Margarine?

 

I trust cows over scientists !

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                   HAPPY LABOR DAY WEEKEND TO ALL  !

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It's hard to make a comeback

If you haven't been anywhere..

 

If voting could really change things...

It would be illegal.

 

Beauty is only a

Light switch away..

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Life is too short to

dance with

ugly men !

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Senior setting up new password, came up with a winner.

 

USER;      ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesshovedupyourassifyoudon'tgivemeaccessnow.

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Our thoughts and prayers go out to all effected by Hurricane Harvey.

 

                                           ♥♥

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The only thing we have left that cannot be changed...

 

Are ...   "Memories",

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IF LIFE IS A WASTE OF TIME..

AND TIME IS A WASTE OF LIFE...

 

THEN LET'S ALL GET WASTED TOGETHER

AND HAVE THE TIME OF OUR LIVES.

 

 

 

Armand's Pizza Washington, D.C.