Check out the 10th anniversary edition of ’99 Great Ways to Save,’ AARP’s annual guide to saving money.

Reply
Valued Social Butterfly
1
Kudos
1258
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,258 Views
Message 181 of 2,648

Guests descend like starving piranhas..

On your freshley baked lasagna..

Dirty every dish in sight,

But leave your larder clean and bright.

 

There you stand, your cesspool brimming...

Towels to wash from all their swimming.

Being told with all good cheer...

"Aren't you lucky living here!"

Report Inappropriate Content
1
Kudos
1258
Views
Valued Social Butterfly
0
Kudos
1330
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,330 Views
Message 182 of 2,648

M     is for the million things she gave me..

O     is only that she's growing old..

T     is for the tears she shed to save me..

H     is for her heart of purest gold.

E     is for her eyes with love-light shining.

R     is right, and right she'll always be...

 

Put them all together they spell MOTHER.. a word that means the world to me !

 

A very HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all Moms out there.. biological and otherwise. Heart

 

 

Report Inappropriate Content
Tags (1)
0
Kudos
1330
Views
Valued Social Butterfly
2
Kudos
1395
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,395 Views
Message 183 of 2,648

The best babysitters, of course, are the baby's grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods , which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.

 

Dave Barry

Report Inappropriate Content
2
Kudos
1395
Views
Treasured Social Butterfly
1
Kudos
1403
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,403 Views
Message 184 of 2,648

wind chimes.jpg

"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
Report Inappropriate Content
1
Kudos
1403
Views
Valued Social Butterfly
1
Kudos
1399
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,399 Views
Message 185 of 2,648

My Mother taught me about stamina... "You'll sit right there 'till all that spinach is finished."

 

My Mother taught me about weather.... "It looks like a tonado swept through your room."

 

My Mother taught me about the science of osmosis... "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

 

My Mother taught me about logic.... "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

 

Report Inappropriate Content
Tags (1)
1
Kudos
1399
Views
Valued Social Butterfly
1
Kudos
1414
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,414 Views
Message 186 of 2,648

One of my children became quite irritable with me recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered. I was worried.. "   I smiled a warm smile... the torch has been passed.

Report Inappropriate Content
1
Kudos
1414
Views
Valued Social Butterfly
2
Kudos
1447
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,447 Views
Message 187 of 2,648

Yesterday, my wife ran away with my best friend Mike.

 

Since when is Mike your best friend???

 

Since yesterday . Smiley Very Happy

Report Inappropriate Content
2
Kudos
1447
Views
Highlighted
Valued Social Butterfly
0
Kudos
1470
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,470 Views
Message 188 of 2,648

WHY DID GOD MAKE MOTHERS?

 

1.  She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2.  Mostly to clean the house.

3.  To help us out of there when we were getting born.

Report Inappropriate Content
0
Kudos
1470
Views
Valued Social Butterfly
0
Kudos
1454
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,454 Views
Message 189 of 2,648

GEORGE WASHINGTON'S JEWISH MOTHER:

 

"Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance goodbye!"

Report Inappropriate Content
Tags (1)
0
Kudos
1454
Views
Valued Social Butterfly
1
Kudos
1464
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,464 Views
Message 190 of 2,648

Because I feel that

in the Heavens above

The angels whispering

one to another..

Can find among their burning terms of love

none so devotional

as that of

"Mother".

Report Inappropriate Content
Tags (1)
1
Kudos
1464
Views