From ‘liquid biopsies’ to precision medicine, these five developments will change cancer care in the next decade. Learn more.

Reply
Valued Social Butterfly
0
Kudos
1399
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,399 Views
Message 481 of 2,654

A 92-yr.-old , petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably coifed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.

 

His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

 

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window. "I love it", he stated...with the enthusiam of an eight yr. old. having just been presented with a new puppy.

 

"Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room, just wait."

"That doesn't have anything to do with it," he replied. "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged...it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice. I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or I get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do."

 

"Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes are open, I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life. Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories! Thank you for your part in filling my Memory Bank. I am still depositing"

 

Remember the 5 simple rules to be happy:

 

1. Free your heart of hatred.

2. Free your mind from worries.

3. Live simply.

4. Give more

5. Expect less.

 

 

 

To all Dad's and Grand dad's out there biological and otherwise, a very HAPPY FATHER'S DAY !    

 

 

Report Inappropriate Content
Tags (1)
0
Kudos
1399
Views
Valued Social Butterfly
0
Kudos
1391
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,391 Views
Message 482 of 2,654

I found a penny today

Just lying on the ground..

But it's not just a penny

This little coin I found.

 

Found pennies come from heaven.

That's what my Grandpa told me,

He said Angels toss them down

Oh, how I loved that story.

 

He said when an Angel misses you,

They toss a penny down.

Sometimes just to cheer you up,

To make a smile out of your frown.

 

So, don't pass by that penny,

When you're feeling blue.

It's your Dad or Grandpa

Saying "HI" to you !

Report Inappropriate Content
Tags (1)
0
Kudos
1391
Views
Valued Social Butterfly
0
Kudos
1404
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,404 Views
Message 483 of 2,654

God took the strength of a mountain..

The majesty of a tree,

The warmth of a summer sun,

The calm of a quiet sea.

 

The generous soul of Nature,

The comforting arm of night,

The wisdom of ages,

The power of the eagle's flight.

 

The joy of a morning in spring,

The faith of a mustard seed,

The patience of eternity,

The depth of a family need.

 

Then God combined these qualities,

And when there was nothing more to add...

 

He knew His masterpiece was complete..

 

And so He called it    DAD. 

Report Inappropriate Content
Tags (1)
0
Kudos
1404
Views
Valued Social Butterfly
0
Kudos
1369
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,369 Views
Message 484 of 2,654

They walked in tandem, each of the ninety-two students filing into the already crowded auditorium. With their rich maroon gowns flowing....and the traditional caps, they looked almost...as grown up as they felt.

 

Dads swallowed hard behind broad smiles, and moms freely brushed away tears. This class would NOT pray during commencements....not by choice, because of a recent court ruling prohibiting it.

 

The principal and several students were careful to stay within the guidelines allowed by the ruling. They gave inspirational and challenging speeches, but no one mentioned diving guidance and no one asked for blessings on the graduates or their families.

 

The speeches were nice, but they were routine....until the final speech received a standing ovation.

 

A solitary student walked proudly to the microphone. He stood still and silent for a moment, then it happened....

 

Al 92 students, every single one of them, suddenly sneezed !!!

 

The student on stage...simply looked at the audience and said, "GOD BLESS YOU, each and everyone of you !" And he walked off the stage....

 

The audience exploded into applause. This graduating class had found a unique way to invoke God's blessing on their future with or without the court's approval.

 

Isn't this a wonderful story?   Pass it on, and GOD BLESS YOU !

 

This is a true story; it happened at the University of Maryland.

Report Inappropriate Content
Tags (1)
0
Kudos
1369
Views
Highlighted
Valued Social Butterfly
0
Kudos
1354
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,354 Views
Message 485 of 2,654

"Some may own castles on the banks of the Rhine

And hire an orchestra each evening at nine..

But richer than I they will never be..

I had a Dad who spent time with me."

Report Inappropriate Content
Tags (1)
0
Kudos
1354
Views
Valued Social Butterfly
0
Kudos
1319
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,319 Views
Message 486 of 2,654

MA LOVES PA....

 

PA LOVES WOMEN...

 

MA CAUGHT PA,

 

WITH TWO IN SWIMMIN'

 

HERE LIES PA.

Report Inappropriate Content
Tags (1)
0
Kudos
1319
Views
Valued Social Butterfly
0
Kudos
1157
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,157 Views
Message 487 of 2,654

Anyone can be a Father...

But it takes someone special to be a 

 

                               DAD 

Report Inappropriate Content
Tags (1)
0
Kudos
1157
Views
Valued Social Butterfly
0
Kudos
1070
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

1,070 Views
Message 488 of 2,654

A FATHER IS SOMEONE WHO 

 

CARRIES PICTURES 

 

WHERE HIS MONEY 

 

USED TO BE...

Report Inappropriate Content
Tags (1)
0
Kudos
1070
Views
Valued Social Butterfly
0
Kudos
909
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

909 Views
Message 489 of 2,654

As you know my dear people, for the last year the Royal House of Clinton has been tormented by questions about our handling of finances and subjected to tiresome questions about our tragic events in Benghazi... in the furthest regions of our empire. And sadly, also questions about my Royal e-mails.

 

Nevertheless, I will not be daunted in my desire and committments to serve you. For the next eight months, I will be traveling among you as one of you, to listen to your deepest longings and needs. I will be with you in your Wal-Marts and beside you in your Burger Kings. I will drive with you down the busy interstate highways of our land, sharing your poverty and needs.

 

How well I remember the days when the Duke of Arkansas and I were impoverished. After we were expelled from our Washington Palace we hardly had two mansions to rub together. We were so poor that we removed thousands of dollars of china, flatware, carpets and gifts from the Washington palace just to survive.

 

Shockingly, unscrupulous and ungrateful officials later forced us to return many of the treasures. Now, happily, benefactors from around our empire have given me just enough for us to scrape by.

 

During these difficult times, we had to cut back. When our daughter was married, we only had three million dollars to spend on her wedding. And, I remember our hopes, as she moved into her $10 million Manhatten apartment, that one day she would be able to move on from that humble abode to something more fitting. After working for MSNBC for a starting salary of a mere $ 600,000 per year, what else could she do? So now I pay her $3,000,000 a year to run the "Foundation". 

 

So, as I travel across our kingdom to meet you all, I will be listening and sharing with you. Then, when the time comes for the royal election, (Coronation) comes, I know I can count on you to crown me as your rightful Monarch, with my assurance that I will continue King Obama's policies, and we can all live happily ever after.

 

Your

Queen-in-waiting,

Hillary Rodham Clinton

Report Inappropriate Content
Tags (1)
0
Kudos
909
Views
Valued Social Butterfly
0
Kudos
872
Views

Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

872 Views
Message 490 of 2,654

Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped and fell over the bridge and landed in the creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water.

 

He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted. The 1st kid said, "I want to go to Disney World and Barack said, "No problem. I'll take you there in AirForce One."

 

The 2nd kid said, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes. "  Barack said, "I'll get them for you and even have Mike Jordan sign them."

 

The 3rd kid said, " I want a motorized wheel chair with a built in TV and stereo head set."

 

Barack was a little perplexed by this and said, " But you don't look handicapped to me."

 

The kid said,  "I will be after my dad finds out I saved your sorry **bleep** from drowning!"

Report Inappropriate Content
Tags (1)
0
Kudos
872
Views
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Users
Announcements

Open Enrollment: Oct 15-Dec 7, 2019 Find resources to help you decide on the best healthcare insurance plans for you during Open Enrollment season