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Regular Contributor

Would love to just chat!

I am recently retired and still getting used to being at home all day.  I tried to get a part time job but no success. I would love to chat and get to know people from all over the country.  Maybe you can give me some advice on retirement loneliness!  Rebecca 

Rebecca
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Periodic Contributor

Greetings! Boy, do i know where you're coming from. I was completely overwhelmed due to dealing with a failing mother and adult children who were struggling, while keeping a high stress full time job. i wound up in therapy due to the anxiety. Then....my mother passed away, my children found themselves in better circumstances, and i decided to retire after 32 years of employment. And i found myself struggling as to how to fill my time, after so many years of never having enough of it! i came to the stunning realization that i needed a ROUTINE, even if it was a different routine than the one i had previously. I started establishing a routine....and then COVID hit. So, now back to establishing a DIFFERENT routine. I was ready to give up the high stress job, but i never really planned on what the next step should be. 

 

Liz

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Social Butterfly

@hockeymom9178  I want to first say how sorry I am about the passing of your mom. You have definitely gone through a great deal in a short amount of time, and were so wise to seek counseling when it grew overwhelming.  Classic feast or famine.  It can take time to decide how you want your retirement to look.  Blocking in time to exercise regularly is a good start.  Slowing begin building a social network of friends and family.  Check in with them regularly. Creating a weekly meal plan can free you up from asking yourself, what am I going to have for dinner every day. Also decrease temptation of fast food or delivery regularly. It's an adjustment to cook for one.  You can always double portion favorite dishes and freeze.  Hobbies are a great way to build in routine.  Are there hobbies you like (d) or look into new ones. A crazy thing I picked up two months ago was entering limerick contests. A total blast!  Joining a book club, gets you a chance to meet people with some similar interest.  Volunteering can do that too.  If you are a person of faith, joining a church. Maybe a part-time job is a way to get you out regularly too.

 

Best of luck hockey mom, you are resilient and resourceful, you got this! 

Periodic Contributor

Is there anyone out there to chat?

Periodic Contributor

Yes!  I'm here. 

I feel like I'm lost in a tornado of people under thirty on the internet.

Never knock on Death's door.
Ring the doorbell and run.
He totally hates that.
Social Butterfly

@MedusaE76171 I know what you mean.  I don't do the whole social media thing.  Other then this AARP site. Welcome to the 50+ online community here at AARP. Lots of interesting forums to participate in.  Hope you find what you are looking for.

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Periodic Contributor

Thank you!  🙂  Thank you so much for the welcome. I don't mean to sound overly exuberant, but this place feels like water in the dessert.  🙂

Never knock on Death's door.
Ring the doorbell and run.
He totally hates that.
Social Butterfly

@MedusaE76171 In all honesty, we could use some more exuberance on this site.  Engaging questions and people to respond with interest.  With 36 million AARP members, There is a very very small portion that are in this on-line community. There is great potential to connect, inform and entertain.   To follow your water analogy, jump in and get your feet wet.😄

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Periodic Contributor

@Rhymesometimes Thank you for the encourgement.  🙂  I really appreciate it and would very much like to engage with the people here.  And here we are, you and I, doing just that.  🙂  

Never knock on Death's door.
Ring the doorbell and run.
He totally hates that.
Social Butterfly

@MedusaE76171  Nice to have positive energy around here. 😃

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Periodic Contributor

People are strange I hear all about the loneliest for people 50+ and aarp gives people a place to help with it and  people do not take advantage of it

Come on folks lets talk it up

Social Butterfly

@Jerome19468  I agree.  There are plenty of forums in this community for people to connect.  

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Contributor

Hi, Bess, I'd love to chat and this couldn't come at a better time for me. My mood goes up and down as I travel through this. The metaphor of having to fill an empty canvas every week and every day, even every hour, has come to me. You spoke about no luck in getting a part-time job. I can't even figure out to do volunteer stuff. 

 

How do we make this a regular thing? Could we bring people together on Zoom? 

 

Thanks, Tony

 

 

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Contributor

Rebecca,
I too would just love to chat, I am also retired, and after being housebound due to Covid for a year I ended up detaching my darn Achilles Tendon and having surgery,  so now my rear end is stuck in this chair for months.  Where are you located?  Maybe we can keep each other from going nutty

Carol

Contributor

Hi, Rebecca. I am so happy to have met you here. Today is my 2nd week anniversary for leaving my job and moving towards retirement. Before I pulled the trigger on leaving my job I thought that my major challenges would be 1) money and 2) filling the void, like waking up and seeing a big, dark tunnel of nothing. But what I didn’t anticipate was what you mentioned, “retirement loneliness.” 

 

Quite honestly, I’d never been very good at keeping friends or making them. But now I am reaching out and a lot of people I thought would respond are not. So I have a rejiggered the 2nd challenge to be filling the timing productively with people.  I figure that would be hard for me in normal circumstances but of course Covid is making this worse. I’d love to keep talking to you, Rebecca and anyone else who has these feelings or has any advice. Thanks, Tony

Gold Conversationalist

AnthonyG273710.....Find something you enjoy doing and you will find others who will share your activity.

Gold Conversationalist

Loneliness and retirement.....the best way to overcome them is to keep busy.

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Social Butterfly

@besslewis , Volunteering is a great transition from retirement.  Great way to meet new people. Also, taking classes on things that interest you, finding new hobbies, or rediscovering old ones. There are so many people that could use your help.  Congratulations on your retirement, best of luck with this new faze of life. Christine

Anonymous
Not applicable

happy-wednesday.jpg

Hello Everyone:

 

  • Any birthdays this month?
  • Where are you located? Me, Virginia USA.
  • Any pet owners? I have a Doggie Friend Athena 🙂
  • Any grandkids? Me, not yet. I have one child, a daughter.
  • Are you retired? I did July 2021.
  • Any hobbies? Me, reading and gardening.
  • If you are still working, what do you do?
  • I am very active in several AARP community forums. Joined AARP in 2019. How about you?
  • Let us share and support each other. I read several posts and look forward to us moving forward with chatting amongst ourselves 🙂 🙂 🙂
Regular Contributor

help I would love to chat in the forums and to you but can't seem to swim thru. I am retired since I was 66. I was an L&D nurse for over 30 years and like most people miss the daily life of going to work but not actually the work. I am trying to sew and scrapbook. I love to read. I live in a rural area and love it. I have three mustangs(PETS) and 2 **bleep**zus. 

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Hi @LynneS930241 lol, the AARP Community Board  is not easy to use and I had taken a year off (2020) and returned this year. You can PRIVATE MESSAGE AND FRIEND folks you connect with and who want to communicate. I am here if you need any help at all. Good hearing from you 🙂

Regular Contributor

do you have any hobbies? what are you good at? Do you ever take walks in your neighborhood or is there a park nearby? Sometimes you can meet other walkers with similar interests. Try it or get yourself a bicycle. You'd be surprised at who your neighbors are. Have you considered a home based business? There are so many that are good for retirees and anybody, plus you meet new people, even virtually. Im working on one right now if you're interested. Are we allowed to trade emails or numbers?

Wendell Bowen
Periodic Contributor

I am a bridge player. Do you play bridge. The game is challenging and you meet so many friends in bridge clubs. 

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Newbie

Dear Rebecca

I just retired about 3 weeks ago after losing my husband this fall so I know how you feel-not sure what to do with this time. If you want to to chat or write please contact me-I do have friends but they are from work so hey are busy during the day. If you are a reader wecan talk about books. I hope to hear from you.

Sydney

Contributor

Hi Rebecca,

I'm semi "retired" and have had to deal with the realities of having less day-to-day contact with others.  One positive step I have taken was to start a "men's group" comprised of five guys that I knew throughout my career.  There are five of us and we talk every other week for about 1 1/2 hrs.  The guidelines are simply that we don't discuss religion or politics.  Other than that we give ourselves homework assignments which basically entail answering questions about our lives, concerns, challenges and ideas for thriving in this stage of our lives.  We all live in different parts of the country.  Perhaps starting a group of virtual friends can be helpful for you...

Contributor

Hi Bess and everyone!

 

My name is Dana, still working in the family business. I support my special needs nephew/son with some help from my parents. He has been living with me since 2010 and it is rough. 

 

Let's see, I am a locksmith by trade and have worked in many areas of the industry. I currently am the business manager and the front desk tech for the business, yes, I wear many hats around here!!! I also work from home as a customer service rep for Carnival!! LOL

 

Never married and have never had children. I love to travel. LOVE being in the mountains. Dog lover. My life is pretty boring at the moment but it's all good.

 

This is a start for me, just looking for a support group. Since I am a caregiver in my home as well as being there for my parents. I figured this might be a great place for me to start??!!

Regular Contributor

Bess, have you considered a home based business? A lot of projects are totally virtual, taking advantage of the technology. I'm working on a project with great benefits and great compensation.

 

Wendell Bowen
Regular Contributor

Bess tell me, can you see this post? Im trying to make sure it can be seen and how do you know when people respond? is there some red number 3 or four telling me i have four replies, up at the top?

Wendell Bowen
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Regular Contributor

It doesn't appear that the original poster has been back here since June 2020. I can see your post so it is there. She just hasn't seen it. That's a big problem with systems like this is that people join, stay gung-ho for a month or so and then quit coming back. I have been looking over threads and other than the people who want to argue about politics, a large number of the threads have had no activity in months.

Periodic Contributor

It's very late here and I'm tired so will reply at more length tomorrow, but I had to say I freaking love your avatar.  

Never knock on Death's door.
Ring the doorbell and run.
He totally hates that.
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