🤗🤎 WE are thinking of YOU! Please Stop By To See Us :)

[Anonymous]

▶️To reply, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your text. Click reply button again.◀️

WE cry, rejoice, talk, share!

Whatever YOU need, WE are here for YOU.

***YOU are a very SPECIAL person and WE want to hear from YOU***

Grief & Loss Team 🤗🤎

[MarcyW882921]

Thank you Nicole!

[Anonymous]

(1 comment) Dear @mc6844 , I think I gave you a "kudo" for EACH of your posts tonight. I will verify when I get back from taking out my trash. 🙄

Figured one "less" thing and checking mailbox.

Party Time, I get to sleep LATER before heading to Walmart in the morning. 💃🥳

Lol, and YES, I am going this time...🤣😂

Nicole 🤎🤗

[mc6844]

Thank you Nicole. I hope you have better luck with your trash than I do. Three times in a row I placed the bags in back of the car. Forgot to pop the trunk and ran over the trash! Need to slow down here.

[Anonymous]

10 comments (Thursday 5/25/23)

Dear @Cadee2719 , my responses are below in CAPS. Nicole 🤗🤎

▶️@Cadee2719 wrote:

My repairs are slow but happening.

AND THAT IS WHAT COUNTS, YOU ARE DOING THEM VERSUS NOT.

Got the air conditioner in my car fixed and the filter.

OH YES, TELL ME ABOUT THAT. LAST YEAR THE ONE IN MY CAR (2006 HYUNDAI ELANTRA) ACTED UP. I USE TO BE ABLE TO DO WITHOUT AIR, BUT THE "HOT FLASHES"/LOL 😂😂. FINGERS, TOES, EYES CROSSED IT MAKES IT THROUGH THIS YEAR! 👍

It seems like I fix one thing and another breaks!   Shopping for an oven.

Two nights ago I was up ALL NIGHT, could not sleep and was feeling anxious.

OH YES, AND I WATCH THE CLOCK AND GET MAD. 🙄

The next day I was miserable.  I tried to sleep and got about an hours sleep after taking 1/4 of a xanax pill.   (I am not comfortable taking pills)

I TOTALLY AGREE. BETWEEN NEEDING TO HEAR IF SOMEONE TRIES TO BREAK IN AND THE SIDE EFFECTS....

Have no idea what is going on.

IT IS NORMAL AND THIS WILL PASS.

Yes, if I move it will be far away from my daughter in law.

WELL, WHILE I WAS IN VIRGINIA, I WAS AWAY FROM MY "VERY TOXIC" FAMILY. NOW TO HOPE I DON'T RUN INTO THEM HERE IN FLORIDA. MY DAUGHTER'S FATHER'S "FAMILY FROM HELL" LIVES IN MELBOURNE TOO. 😭

 I truly try to be there for her but all she does is complain about my son who has left her financially secure.  She retired the day he died!    I bite my tongue each time I hear from her and don't want to ruin the relationship because I love my grandson so much.  

OH YES, YOU WANT YOUR TIME WITH HIM UNTIL HE IS OF AGE TO "INTERACT" WITH YOU "ON HIS OWN"...

I don't want to sound like I am feeling sorry for myself.

YOU ARE SHARING.

 I am truly trying to get through this and wonder if I am just pretending.

TAKE A DEEP BREATH....

YOU ARE DOING GREAT 🤎🤗

 Thank You Nicole for being there for me.

AND RIGHT BACK AT YOU 🤎🤗

 I am sincere in saying that the people on this site help me more than they will ever know. 

ME TOO!!!!

◀️

[Cadee2719]

I don't know what I would do without you.  When I am down, you build me up.  I seem to be constantly reminded of the horrible suffering my husband went through while in Hospice Care at home.  I can't get it out of my head.  He went down so quickly after the death of our son and there was nothing I could do to help.  I am thankful I kept him at home and took care of him.  I miss my husband, I miss my son, I miss my brother.  I am trying to stay busy but then night comes.  I stopped reading Widow to Widow because I can no longer concentrate. I WANT to be strong and I am not.  I am stuck in my home.  Although I live in a very nice area, it seems as if the homeless have taken over.  It has become unsafe to go to the gas station, grocery store, Home Depot, Trader Joes, the bank, etc.  That is the main reason I am thinking of moving out of state.  I think if I were able to get out of my house,  I would feel better.  I ADMIRE the fact that you moved to Florida to be near your daughter.  Again, forgive my complaining.  Each time I come to this site and read the replies from everyone, it truly does lift my spirits.  I hope that everyone is doing well.

[mc6844]

I think you're doing well expressing your feelings. It shows you're not really stuck. Time takes time. Take care!

[mc6844]

• When I was reading the posts today I was also thinking of hope. It's so hopeful to see how you are all doing. Moving from heart wrenching grief to workable solutions. I think Marcy mentioned the word "temporary" and that's really how situations are. And that makes challenging times hopeful. 

[BeatleloverKT]

@Cadee2719  Please don’t ever think you’re not strong. You absolutely are! Your

trauma is so deep and fresh and you are

dealing with it as best you can. I had an

awful dream about my husband just last

night and it’s been 4 1/2 years since he passed. And I still struggle with guilt and

the what if’s. Because that’s what we women do. You should definitely take a break from the book. It can be overwhelming, I speak from experience. Maybe if you can find a safe place to go for a walk? I do think getting out would help you. You are not complaining, you are stating your feelings. Please continue to do that. We are here for you!

Keep us posted  💜

[mc6844]

Be kind to yourself Beatle! Take care!

[MarcyW882921]

Cadee,

I'm so glad you came by to visit us today!

I too have those horrible memories of receiving my husband's terminal diagnosis, his rapid decline, and suffering at home while in hospice. It is horrendous to watch and feel so helpless! Both of you are thankful that he was able to be in the comfort of your home with you by his side. 

There is grief and I recently found out about post traumatic stress associated with grief. You might consider checking out that topic to see if your situation fits the description and if appropriate, investigate treatment options.

I think getting out is good for the soul but not if the environment outside of your home is unsafe. If you have a trusted friend maybe you can drive away from the area to somewhere that is more conducive to a safe outing.

You are so consumed with grief right now that taking a break from reading Widow to Widow is probably a wise decision. Perhaps material that provides a good, temporary distraction is in order. Works of fiction, games, movies, craft projects? Things that interest you and/or allow for self expression.

You are not alone...we are here for you!

[mc6844]

Those are good suggestions Marcy! Take care.

[Anonymous]

(1 comment) Hey Marcy @MarcyW882921 , by adding the @ before names, person gets a copy of post in their email. I am sending a copy of YOUR awesome post to @Cadee2719 's email in box. Nicole 🤗🤎

---

▶️@MarcyW882921 wrote:

Cadee,

I'm so glad you came by to visit us today!

I too have those horrible memories of receiving my husband's terminal diagnosis, his rapid decline, and suffering at home while in hospice. It is horrendous to watch and feel so helpless! Both of you are thankful that he was able to be in the comfort of your home with you by his side. 

There is grief and I recently found out about post traumatic stress associated with grief. You might consider checking out that topic to see if your situation fits the description and if appropriate, investigate treatment options.

I think getting out is good for the soul but not if the environment outside of your home is unsafe. If you have a trusted friend maybe you can drive away from the area to somewhere that is more conducive to a safe outing.

You are so consumed with grief right now that taking a break from reading Widow to Widow is probably a wise decision. Perhaps material that provides a good, temporary distraction is in order. Works of fiction, games, movies, craft projects? Things that interest you and/or allow for self expression.

You are not alone...we are here for you!◀️

---

[MarcyW882921]

Thanks Nicole for this information!

Marcy

[Anonymous]

7 comments (Thursday 5/25/23)

***EDITED: mixed you both up @mc6844 and @Cadee2719 = getting old)***

Dear @mc6844  thank you for asking! 🤎🤗

Been a good week "except" for my "suppose" to have done Walmart Weekly Food Run.

Lol, was "suppose" to do Wednesday, then TODAY! 🙄

Anyway, TOMORROW has to be the day as that is also "take trash to dumpster and get mail from mailbox"...

How is your book reading doing? 🤔

@Cadee2719 IF you don't mind my asking, how are your repairs coming along?🤔

So PROUD of you taking them "one repair at a time" 👍

Nicole 🙃

▶️@mc6844 wrote:

Thanks Nicole. Always nice to drop in and see how the group is doing! How are you?◀️

[mc6844]

Nicole, reading reminds me that we all have challenges in life. And that even in the most perfect surroundings and situations people bicker. So when people pass on situations can become even more strained. I try to look beyond the window and not just through it. And to remember that St. Francis said it's better to understand than to be understood. Unfortunately, there are those who are sick and enjoy hurting someone else. Usually out of insecurity for whatever reason. I do my best to detach. And I can learn a lot about relationships by reading fiction and non-fiction. 

[mc6844]

Nicole, it's important to eat well. Walmart also has home delivery. They deliver everything. Milk, ice cream, etc.  It's a few dollars more but handy when you don't feel up to the trip. But a low food supply easily leads to depression. Take care!

[Cadee2719]

My repairs are slow but happening.  Got the air conditioner in my car fixed and the filter.  It seems like I fix one thing and another breaks!   Shopping for an oven.   Two nights ago I was up ALL NIGHT, could not sleep and was feeling anxious.  The next day I was miserable.  I tried to sleep and got about an hours sleep after taking 1/4 of a xanax pill.   (I am not comfortable taking pills)   Have no idea what is going on.  Yes, if I move it will be far away from my daughter in law.  I truly try to be there for her but all she does is complain about my son who has left her financially secure.  She retired the day he died!    I bite my tongue each time I hear from her and don't want to ruin the relationship because I love my grandson so much.  I don't want to sound like I am feeling sorry for myself.  I am truly trying to get through this and wonder if I am just pretending.  Thank You Nicole for being there for me.  I am sincere in saying that the people on this site help me more than they will ever know.  

[mc6844]

Have a good day Cadee!

[MarcyW882921]

It's so good to see you posting Cadee. Happening is the key word for your repairs. You are being bombarded, but you're getting things done.

It is understandable that you feel like you have no idea what's going on. You are grieving, you have things breaking, and you have issues with your DIL. For me it would be the lack of sleep that you mentioned. Most people need adequate sleep to deal with normal everyday things and our bodies (including our brains) do not function well without it. 

I think you are wise to try to maintain a relationship with your DIL in a way that doesn't drain you. She is still a connection to your son as the woman he chose to share his life with and to bear his child. Your son lives on in your grandson.

You will get through this!

Marcy

[mc6844]

Cadee I've found when I'm overtired, worried and stressed everything is harder. Its OK to feel sorry for yourself. I just don't let myself get in a funk. There are people who really don't have caring or sensitive ways of doing things. But there are many other people who do. Those are the ones I turn to when I need support. And this is a good place to express your feelings. And then I try to get on with my day. Take care Cadee. The people here care about you and understand what you're going through.

[mc6844]

Cadee I know how a repair can be overwhelming. It's the repair itself, dealing with service personnel, scheduling the time for repair etc. And then there's the emotional thoughts that perhaps your husband handled the repairs and the fact he's not there. Even if he was sick it was still a form of support. It's all the things that need kept up around the house and what it entails. Distance from house, like going for a walk, or seeing how a neighbor is, reminds me of options. The AARP site has so many interesting articles. Except slowing down and caring for your health I think is the most important. Take care

[Anonymous]

1 comment (Tuesday 5/23/23)

So GOOD to hear from you TODAY @mc6844 !!!! 💃🥳

Nicole 🤎🙃🤗

[mc6844]

Thanks Nicole. Always nice to drop in and see how the group is doing! How are you?

[Anonymous]

4 comments (5/20/23) Just finished my 5-hour FREE Cozy Mystery "audiobook" on YOUTUBE.

Starting a FREE movie on TUBI.

Lol, note the word FREE 😂🤣

One of those days of "staying" in bed.....

NEEDED to "recharge and NOT think" = prepare for a NEW week.

Nicole 🙃

[mc6844]

Nicole, I can't find on the thread where you asked me what am I reading. I'm reading 

Mother Angelica: Her Grand Silence by

Raymond Arroyo. It's about the winding down 

of her ministry and life. And aging.

[MarcyW882921]

Books and movies are great ways to transport yourself to a new location (without the headaches of travel or moving)! Your imagination can be set free and your mind can take a well deserved break from stress, grief, etc.

Enjoy!

[Anonymous]

1 comment (5/20/23) Thanks Marcy @MarcyW882921 .

The Cozy Mystery audiobooks HELP me to "sleep" = the 5-hour one was from YESTERDAY. As usual, had to "startover" from where I LAST "remembered" the story from. Some days/nights may require several "startovers"/lol 😂🤣

So GRATEFUL for the "authors" who provide these FREE on YouTube. 💃🥳

Nicole 🤎🤗

---

▶️@MarcyW882921 wrote:

Books and movies are great ways to transport yourself to a new location (without the headaches of travel or moving)! Your imagination can be set free and your mind can take a well deserved break from stress, grief, etc.

Enjoy!◀️ 

[MarcyW882921]

I would be doing startovers too! The local library is a great resource too for audio books and movies. I download most of my books from the library so I don't even have to go there.

Marcy

[Anonymous]

1 comment (5/19/23) Dear Kathy @BeatleloverKT , you and @Cadee2719 NEED a break!!! Way TOO MUCH on your plates. I am so sorry "dear friend" and YOU STAY in my thoughts. WE are ALWAYS here for you, Nicole 🤗🤎

[BeatleloverKT]

Thank u Nicole, that means a lot to me 🙏💜