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🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

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🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

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***A place to share and support***

 

Grief & Loss Team 🤎🤗

 

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📸clipart attached📸

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Silver Conversationalist

Yes Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT , I hope Mom was singing, whistling, and dancing with angels today on her special day! 🎂💃🏻😇

 

Marcy

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Esteemed Social Butterfly

🌞  1 comment (Saturday 4/6/24)

 

HOW ARE YOU?  🤔

 

39 degrees here in Cave Spring, Virginia with a gentle breeze. An interesting cloud display of 3 layers mixed in with blue sky. Sun is out!!!  GRATEFUL...  💃💃💃

 

Everyone, FIND YOUR PEACE TODAY.

 

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT , It was 61 degrees here this morning when I went out to play tennis. It was sunny and warmed up nicely! Stay warm!

 

Marcy

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Esteemed Social Butterfly

(3 comments) 💃💃💃  HAPPY DANCE DAY!!!

 

Anyone dancing???

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Esteemed Social Butterfly

2 comments (Thursday 4/4/24)

 

🖐  I am!!!

 

[1] Cashed in my $1 Scratch Off Lottery Ticket TODAY = won $100.00.  💃💃💃

 

[2] Lol, woke up Mr. No Name, my boy and gave him some Belly Rubs. He is a Feral Cat that refuses to be adopted after his "humans" moved away and left him behind. WE ALL LUV HIM!!! Anyway, I never know WHEN I will see him. He made my day TODAY "extra, extra" SPECIAL.  💃💃💃

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Glad you won!

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Congrats Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT on your winning lottery ticket! 

 

Marcy

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Esteemed Social Butterfly

🎾  3 comments (4/3/24) Ms. Tennis & Zumba @MarcyW882921  [did I get it correct this time/lol] - how are you doing with these?  🤔

 

Hmmm, I seem to remember maybe ONLINE Zumba???

 

And Tennis, do you PLAY at a gym and I am guessing have a partner???

 

*** Are you walking, doing OTHER exercise? ***

 

You GO girl!!!  💙💙💙

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Silver Conversationalist

Yes Nicole you got it right. I'm playing tennis doubles four days a week and typically do Zumba on the off days. Sometimes Zumba is online and sometimes in person. I do walking too and actually made it to a water aerobics class on Monday.

 

How about you?

 

Marcy

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Esteemed Social Butterfly

1 comment (Wednesday 4/3/24)

 

Thanks for asking Marcy @MarcyW882921  💙💙💙

 

Well, when I 1st moved to where I am and still working (2018) I WALKED in the area.

 

In 2020 when I RETIRED, got lazy and COVID was here.

 

Now in 2024, finally thinking of WHERE I want to live when my NEW LEASE expires MARCH 2025.

 

Had NOT wanted to RENEW, but determined to IMPROVE my life with NO one above/below/beside/across from me.

 

*** NO rushing back to Florida for me until I find what I WANT AND NEED ***

 

Had that in FLORIDA before I left in 2015.  💃💃💃

 

LUV walking in NEW areas = exploring. Florida is NOT safe right now for this and where I am - lol, hate alot of the DRAMA Queens that NOW have moved in = stay inside so as NOT to deal with them. Car is OLDER [2006 Hyundai Elantra] so wisdom tells me to use her AS NEEDED. I use to drive out to Lexington, Virginia and some OTHER cities an HOUR AWAY. Yes, DAY TRIPS!!!  💃💃💃

 

Missing these and that is MY FOCUS for Florida = my Exploration Walks.

 

Not into anything ONLINE OR GROUPS = luv my ALONE time with nature...  👵

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Silver Conversationalist

Yes Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT , take your time to make a decision that is right for you. At this age we can't afford to get it wrong! I hope you can find your alone time in nature and the perfect place in close proximity for exploration walks.

 

Marcy

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1 comment (Wednesday 4/3/24)

 

👋  HELLO!!!

 

‌Marcy @MarcyW882921 , MC @mc6844 , Jonibee @jonibee  , Cadee @Cadee2719   💙‌‌💙‌‌💙

 

[SUNDAY 3/31/24] Diane @DianeE3158 , I HOPE you will stop by AGAIN to see us when you "feel" up to it...  🤗🤗🤗

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Thank you Nicole, it's kind of you to keep us in your thoughts. I'm thinking of all on the forum too. I'm sorry for your losses and what struggles each individual is going through. I've been very busy with life stuff. But I think of this forum often and what a help it's been. I try to stop in and contribute. The good news is that every day there's something new in life. To take each day as it is. And each stage of life has its own struggles. I still don't know what to say to truly help another in their loss. It's all very much a process.

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Esteemed Social Butterfly

🌞  5 comments (Wednesday 4/3/24)

 

HOW ARE YOU DOING?  🤔

 

Rainy "yucky" day and GRATEFUL I get to stay in!  💃💃💃

 

Got my Weekly video Call with my daughter YESTERDAY!  💃💃💃

 

Everyone, FIND YOUR PEACE TODAY!  💙💙💙

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Grateful for another sunny day in the Sunshine State. Today is a pretty full class day - two online classes earlier and one in-person tonight. Keeping my brain engaged is very fulfilling.

 

Marcy

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Esteemed Social Butterfly

3 comments (Wednesday 4/3/24)

 

I bet you are ENJOYING the "heat" Marcy @MarcyW882921 , so is my daughter. BOTH Ms. Floridas!!!

 

You guys are WELCOME to it/lol.

 

ENJOYING my Virginia Spring Day [rain finally left  💃💃💃] - window open, gentle breeze and what is left of the blossoms on trees.  👵

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Silver Conversationalist

Yes Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT I do enjoy the heat!

 

Marcy

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1 comment (Wednesday 4/3/24)

 

Marcy @MarcyW882921 , I use to enjoy the "heat" BEFORE my "Hot Flashes" = when I do make it back to Florida 100%, I will need a Sugar Daddy to pay my AIR CONDITIONING BILL!!!/lol  🤣😂

 

Even here in Cave Spring, Virginia - me and my air in apartment and car are BEST FRIENDS in Summer...  🙄🙄🙄

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Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT , Good luck with your Sugar Daddy search! I hope it works out for you very soon! 😁🍫

 

Marcy

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Medical appts are keeping me busy. This Thurs would have been hubby's 85th birthday ..we all miss him greatly but will think of him with memories of past birthdays..

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Esteemed Social Butterfly

5 comments (Sunday 3/31/24)

 

SO GOOD to hear from you MC @mc6844  💙💙💙

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Contributor

 My husband passed away on 2/22/24 and I am having a hard time emotionally.  I don't know what to do. It's like I am in a "brain fog". I need direction and I need help. Should I seek out a psychiatrist? I don't have any friends to talk to and I don't belong to any groups. I live in a tiny rural town. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thank you!

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Silver Conversationalist

I'm so sorry for your loss, Diane. The good people on this forum can help you. You can get ideas of what to do, reading how others have gotten through a major life event. If you don't feel up to in person appts, an online counselor is another source of support. And can help to identify options. Things will get better. Time takes time. Take care Diane!

Moderator
Moderator

Hi @DianeE3158, I'm so sorry for your loss and to learn you're having a rough time right now but know you are not alone and there are resources available.

Thank you so much for reaching out for help. Remember there are a community of people here for you. Please take care of yourself.

 

AARPSneed

AARP Social Response Team

 

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Hi, Diane -

I feel your pain - I was right where you are now but 17 years ago.  But ya know what, just from what you wrote, it all came flooding back.  But I am much better today and know that those painful feelings are now only sporadic but so real when I feel them I can empathize with you.

 

In those early days after my husband died - I could ONLY put one step in front of the other - nothing else.  I had Post-It notes all over my mirror saying basic things like “brush my teeth”, “comb my hair”., “shower”. and EAT - I lost a tremendous amount of weight; I did things that were dangerous to my wellbeing - cause I really didn’t care.  

 

Like you, I live in a pretty rural area and really never made too many friends around the area because we worked so much.  My husband and I were self-employed (38 years) and traveled a good bit in the business so we were together 24/7 pretty much.  He literally was everything to me.  The business pretty much went with him since it was his creativity and personhood that we marketed.  So everything changed for me.

 

In the months that followed, I did begin to use a journal - I wrote in it but never went back to read any of it, I just let it flow out and then at about the 2-year mark, I burned it.

 

I tried a counselor to which I had some other dealings through the years and she thought I needed more - like an RX - so she sent me to a psychiatrist.  I guess each of them helped some but mostly just by getting me out of my house - and out of me.  No Rx med from the psychiatrist helped at all - the ones he prescribed just didn’t cure what was wrong with me.  

 

I finally did reach out to a priest that had been sent our way during the last few weeks of my husband’s life under hospice.  I will say that this person was kind and listened to my words, sometimes kind of crazy words and sobs - it was a group type thing but many times, it was just him and me.  

 

It was the anger that got to me really bad -  I screamed a lot - I played music really loud to get out of my head.  I drove too fast on those open country roads.  I think I was on a path of self-destruction for a while.

 

The priest used some 12-step slogans on me and still to this day, they still apply when I get out of sorts - 

 

H.A.L.T - never get too HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY OR TIRED - before you reach out.  

 

ONE DAY AT A TIME - that’s all you have to manage - that’s after you build up from one minute at a time.

 

Then in 2008 I joined this board and started to do what I could to help people out with their various problems with Social Security / Medicare or other stuff to which I could relate.

 

I don’t remember exactly when I started to feel normal again- it just happened very slowly - I started handling other life stuff and time just marched on - but it still only takes a post like the one you made for me to remember how it was but also how I am today - 

 

OH, I still miss him dearly and the plans that we had made for living our golden years together.  But I am thankful for all those years that we had together living as a couple and doing the things we loved to do.  I was 57 when my husband died.  

 

Sure, see someone if for no other reason than just to get it out, if that is what you think you need to do - 

Come here if you want to just let it out - we are just reading your comment so we don’t know how loud you are screaming them - no judgement cause those that visit this board know how it is.  

 

But do reach out somehow, someway cause keeping it all in makes for a boil over.  Time is gonna be the best healer - but it takes steps to get that time in -  spend time outside of your home where you are not alone.  I spent hours at the grocery store just to be around others.

 

My heart aches for you - Grief is a process - some say there are 5-levels:  denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

I don’t know - I don’t remember denial or bargaining.  Just anger, depression and I guess, acceptance.  

 

Take care of yourself as best you can.  Come back to share how you are doing too.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's Always Something . . . . Roseanna Roseannadanna
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Esteemed Social Butterfly

 

1 comment (Saturday 3/30/24) Chat!

 

HOW ARE YOU?  🤔

 

Gosh, one more day for April - 2024 is "flying" by!!!  😱

 

April 11th will be my 1st visit with my NEW Eye Doctor for a HEALTHY EYE EXAM compliments of an Eye Organization [one time deal]. NEXT YEAR will be on me. I have two "tiny" Cataracts in each eye.

 

Everyone, FIND YOUR PEACE TODAY  💙💙💙

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Silver Conversationalist

Hello! I'm thinking of all of you, too. I hope Easter brings a sense of renewal and hope to all your lives. I appreciate all your support. Each day I try to stay in the present moment as much as possible. It just makes the day go easier. I wish you all a nice day!

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Esteemed Social Butterfly

5 comments (Thursday 3/28/24)

 

SO GOOD to hear from you Marcy @MarcyW882921  💃💃💃

 

Girl, I was up ALL NIGHT and was "suppose" to get up at 7am, but kept RESETTING my 3 alarms [yes, 3/lol 😂🤣]. One is a regular clock, plug in. One is my VERY OLD Android T-Mobile says I need to update 🙄. And 3rd is a FREE Android Virginia gave me. They really care about their OLD FOLKS, unlike Florida.

 

Anyway, FINALLY got up at 8am and of course SHOULD have left at 8:30am for 9am appointment. It was 8:45am!!!  😱

 

GRATEFUL, no accidents or gridlocks. Lol, but I am sure my Blood Pressure didnot appreciate the stress of running late.

 

I always WARN them about my NEEDLE "issues"...  💙💙💙

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Well, you got to your appointment. Great!

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Oh my you had a rough night and beginning to your day Nicole @SummerIsTooHOT ! I hope it is now over and you are taking time to breathe and reduce that blood pressure. Wishing you a more calm rest of the day.

Marcy

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