🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

[Winter2024]

THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL GRIEVERS NO MATTER HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN [years,days].

To participate, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your comment. Click on reply again.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[SusanR479241]

Hi Friends, Fall has been a disaster for me and this fall is no exception.  August 20, was my birthday and no husband to celebrate it with.  Ten days later, September 1 is our anniversary and Jim is not here, October 1 is Jim's birthday and coming up November 6 is the day Jim died.  These dates have been hard this year, maybe even harder than the first time.  I don't know why.  Does anyone have suggestions for how to get through November 6?  Please, anything no matter how serious or silly, I appreciate your experience and thoughts.  Thank you very much, Susan

[MarcyW882921]

Wow Susan @SusanR479241 you have a lot of dates to deal with in close proximity! Sometimes we feel worse on the days before a milestone event because we get caught up in the anticipation. Thinking about potential triggers and making plans is a healthy approach. If you want to face your feelings, you could: spend time where you feel close to Jim, talk to Jim, write a letter to him, spend time with people who knew you and Jim, and/or do things that brings back memories of your times with Jim. If you want a distraction from thoughts about your loss you could: take a little trip, go to a movie, plan an outing with friends, do something that you wouldn't have done with Jim but you find it enjoyable, eat foods that you like and Jim wouldn't eat,  and/or change something in your house that you have been wanting to do. I'm throwing out a range of things as potential ideas or ones that will spark some other options. This journey is so individual so do what feels good to you. 

Wishing you all the best Susan.

Marcy

[SusanR479241]

Dear Marcy, I appreciate your response to my situation and giving me options and suggestions.  They are good ones.  It is so nice to put out there what is going on in my life and have people respond.  Thank you, Susan

[MarcyW882921]

Susan @SusanR479241 ,

I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you today. 

Hugs.

Marcy

[MarcyW882921]

You're welcome Susan. I hope you are getting through the month a step at a time and I know you have another date coming up in a few weeks. Every event is a challenge and I have confidence that you will find a way to negotiate it.

Marcy

[Winter2024]

📸  Attachment  📸 

Lisa @LisaJP6763 , Nosey Nicole wants to know about your YESTERDAY Garage Sale.  🙄🙄🙄

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[LisaJP6763]

Again, a total bust. Not a single soul showed up.  I guess I'm just going to have to donate that whole house full of stuff.  ☹️  Got a few more thing we discovered we needed.  Discovered today, back home, that we need to get the medical equipment we left there.  What's out here that his parents had is old and worn out.  I put it out on the curb and posted a curb alert in my FB groups around here.  My stuff was purchased new, shortly before my mother passed away in 2019, 36 hours after I brought her home.

[MarcyW882921]

Sorry Lisa that you are dealing with the "stuff" on top of your loss. It can be frustrating and draining.

Marcy

[SusanR479241]

• Hi all.  I just found this group today.  My husband of 60 years passed away Nov.6 2022.  I can't seem to integrate my new life with the old one.  When he died it was an earthquake, the earth split into two halves and I am unable to seam them together.  I have a foot on one side of the split and the other foot on the opposite split.  It is splitting me apart.  A volcano exploded and caused the earthquake and the volcano is still erupting inside of me.  I have aftershocks frequently; they are very painful, and I become depressed for days or weeks.  
•     I have no one else to tell this to so I appreciate being able to put it out there in print.

[MarcyW882921]

Hi Susan @SusanR479241 and I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome to the group...we are glad you found us. I know it isn't a club or group you wanted to join and we feel the same way. I too was relieved to find a place where I could express my feelings at any time of the day or night. Writing on this forum and in a journal were both beneficial in my journey.

Sixty years is a long time to be married to someone! Situational depression is very common however it becomes a concern if it ends up being chronic. If you feel like you need help identifying your type of depression, contact a professional for an assessment.

It has been said that at the moment your loved one dies, your life is totally changed and you are no longer the person you were when that person was in your life. It doesn't mean however that your love for them or your memories with them are gone. They will remain with you and hopefully become a source of comfort rather than a trigger for grief and sadness. Initially I felt like I had a giant hole in my chest where my heart and love used to be. My soul was lost and my waves of sadness were unpredictable.

I'm curious as to where you may have looked for support during your struggle. People share ideas here for places to go, available resources, and things we have tried. Even though groups are not in my comfort zone, I had a positive experience joining a bereavement group. I think my participation was instrumental in validating my feelings and sanity while building a sense of support and community.

Wishing you some relief from the volatile internal weather you are experiencing.

Marcy

[Winter2024]

👋  How are YOU TODAY?

So Lisa @LisaJP6763 , Nosey Nicole has a couple of questions for YOU.  🙄🙄🙄  Any update on your MRI? Garage Sale TODAY?

Saturday is one of two days I DREAD more than the other five. Yes, the two days the a.sholes above me are here ALL WEEKEND making sure I donot enjoy mine. Hate really "drains" you and I am so READY to "eliminate" it from my life. Lol, the ONLY time I can do this is WHEN they go to work 7am to 3pm.  🤣😂  Last year I guess they were on VACATION for about a week = keep HOPING for another THIS YEAR. I was on VACATION FROM THEM.  👍👍👍

No plans for today and they say SUN ALL WEEK!!! Happy Dance triple time.  💃💃💃  and  💃💃💃  and  💃💃💃

GOOD NEWS - not getting too EXCITED as we all know our kids can flip at a moment's notice but she has OPENED up. Lol, we both are being CHALLENGED - her laid off since 4/11/24 in Florida, me a slum landlord. Anyway, felt good being able to ENCOURAGE each other. Have learn't to take PEOPLE one step at a time. They come into your life, some stay, some go.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[LisaJP6763]

Bad neighbors can be rough, I hope you get better ones soon. MRI all done, made sure they send the results to my doctor as well.  Garage sale will be attempted again today, hoping for better luck today.  

[Winter2024]

Jonibee @jonibee , remind me. I seem to remember you have 1 or 2 appointments for THIS MONTH.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[jonibee]

Actualy I have three they seem to grow unexpectedly ...Trying to down size these appts and get on with living ...Happy Saturday...

[Winter2024]

Lisa @LisaJP6763 , did you have your MRI as yet?

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[LisaJP6763]

3 hours from now.

[Winter2024]

📸  Attachment: This is US/lol  🤣😂

[MarcyW882921]

🤣🤣

Marcy

[Winter2024]

🤔  (1) Any UPDATES?

(2) Anyone needing SUPPORT?

(3) Some days/nights just KNOWING someone cares helps to give us HOPE.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[jonibee]

Today is a new beginning to get things done..Yesterdays appt with lawyer was a mixed bag first more legal fees and signings ..Needed hubby' death certificate wrong one given to son (copy) needed original one that's done..Then upon viewing documents at home discovered daughters married name mispelled ( so that nulls the documents now it has to be done all over again) what a waste of time..We all missed this in the signings the lawyer/my son/and I. So now another appt. has got to be made just can;t drop by and sign the documents..jeez..I need space to do this so on the back burner for a week because I 've go other fish to fry (appts)...I need motivation to get things going again perhaps if the mood strikes I will do some knitting or start to paint to put my mind at ease...Other wise all is fine..I had a dream with my Mom in it and it put me in a good mood when I woke up so start this day...

[Winter2024]

😴   Lol, I am in my chair with my legs up for "circulation" and the Man of My Household (the cat)  🙄🙄🙄  has been sleeping ALL DAY. Will be up ALL NIGHT doing what I DONOT want to know - poor Chipmunks!!!  😭😭😭  Online says FERAL cats  🐈  HUNT at night as their prey is ASLEEP.

[1] Cadee @Cadee2719 , I hope your Son did drive you to your brother's home as promised. I know his wife APPRECIATES your company while he is in the hospital. I need to be ADOPTED by you. Such a CARING person in real life and here for us. Thank you my friend.

[2] So Bionic Marcy @MarcyW882921 you show up and know NOSEY NICOLE is dying to know how you fared in Florida. Lol, you and my daughter are FLORIDA TWINS = no volunteering of news. Anyway, RELIEVED the BOTH of you SURFACED - you here  💃💃💃  and she kept TEXTING. It took all I had NOT to ask IF there was any flooding NEAR her. But she did ask via TEXT for a few days IF I was okay as Cave Spring, Virginia where I am had tornadoes, rain, flooding and of course power outages. Lol, kept wondering IF I was going to be either or both BLOWN OFF OR FLOODED OFF my hill.  😱😱😱  Let me see, we have OCTOBER tomorrow (1st) then NOVEMBER for the Official Hurricane Weather to end.  👍👍👍

[3] Jonibee @jonibee thank you for stopping by my friend.

[4] Lisa @LisaJP6763 , the ONLY "youngster" in our group = still working = WE OLD PEOPLE  retired/lol - I am here for you my friend. Hope work was decent.

[5]I DO MISS you and Sadie Julie @JulieT507376 . I am also here for you my friend.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[MarcyW882921]

So Nicole @Winter2024 ... to relieve your nosey part, I fared just fine in Florida with the hurricane. I am on the southeast coast. Surprisingly as far away as we were from the storm, we did get some wind gusts and rain squalls. There was a moderate amount of vegetation debris on the roads when I went out the next morning.

Marcy

[Winter2024]

Lol, thank you Bionic Marcy @MarcyW882921  🤗🤗🤗

---

[*** MARCY wrote: So Nicole ... to relieve your nosey part, I fared just fine in Florida with the hurricane. I am on the southeast coast. Surprisingly as far away as we were from the storm, we did get some wind gusts and rain squalls. There was a moderate amount of vegetation debris on the roads when I went out the next morning.

Marcy ***]

---

[MarcyW882921]

Luv you Nicole @Winter2024 . 🤗

Marcy

[Winter2024]

🍒🍴  ANYONE ELSE healthy eating today???

Skipped breakfast, but did take Blood Pressure Med (Chlolestral Med tonight) on time along with my Old Lady Multi this morning. Had NO appetite BEFORE heading to Kroger.

▶️*** Lunch: Asian Salad and my MUCH NEEDED coffee. Skipped it BEFORE Kroger trip = so DO NOT use PUBLIC restrooms  🤮  and coffee sends me there./lol

I may ADD Pineapple and Banana IF I am still "hungry".

▶️*** Dinner: Will see what I am in the mood for later on. I do NEED to start "eating" BEFORE 8pm to AVOID what they say. Lol, makes you gain weight eating LATE at night.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[MarcyW882921]

Yes I believe so Nicole @Winter2024 . Plain Greek yogurt with homemade granola for breakfast, a protein shake for lunch made with selected natural ingredients, and chicken stir fry with plenty of vegetables is on the menu for dinner.

Marcy

[jonibee]

Another week of an appt. and one in the middle of the month..I have been doing small changes to be in tune with the season..Also started reading one of the books that I picked up at Salvation Army sale. I have a painting project that I' m trying to work up the ambition to do a wrought iron gate on the front porch that needs to be painted..Have to wait until mail is delivered so the carrier wont get it on them...Otherwise you all have a good day especially those affected by the recent hurricaine hopefully help is there....

[jonibee]

Just an update I went out to Dollar Tree and picked up a small paint brush now weather permitting and after mail carrier comes I can start to paint that wrought iron porch gate. This was built by my grandson and son to prevent hubby from falling if he got to close to the stairs outside. There's also a ramp from the front door onto the porch which I chose to keep in regards to my leg problems..Today is estate planning with the lawyer and then I can relax as that will have completed my job for our adult children...

[Winter2024]

Jonibee @jonibee , I finally picked up a book I had bought from Dollar Tree LAST year June 2023.

Lol, then put it back down again.

Atomic Habits by James Clear. An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones.

IF you want to, NO PRESSURE - I would luv to know how BOTH appointments turn out.

I NEED to go "online" and schedule the NEWEST COVID shot at CVS. Has to be 2 weeks after the Flu one I just got.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

---

[*** JONIBEE wrote: I am reading "the Potters House" by  Rosie Thomas. A story about a young woman with English roots who finds a simpler life in the country of Greece ..A young woman who is escaping an unhappy marriage finds herself there due to an earthquake meets up with the English woman who is happily married with two boys..She is welcomed into the household and decides she will make a new beginning here under a new identity..Life is becoming complicated for the young mother with this new visitor..The house that they live in once was a potters house and so the story progresses..This week appt is legal business..then later on a cardiologist follow up ..Oh drat can't find the 3" paint brush  to fit in the small paint can the size of minwax can...I hate pouring the paint into another container..Oh well such is life..go with the flow literally...Have a nice day...tomato basil soup with club crackers and water for hydration ...clementine for dessert..Have a nice day... ***]

[LisaJP6763]

I have that book Nicole, haven't started it yet but plan to soon.  I'm fine, the weeks are quite busy between work, trying to keep things in order around the house and feeding hubby.  Work is a bit much, in accounting this time of the month is busy.  MRI scheduled Friday afternoon.

Glad to hear you're taking care of  yourself, we have to do that because no one else will.  I'll try to check in more on the weekend but still trying to have a garage sale Saturday.

Everyone take care and I'll be back probably Saturday to check in.

Lisa