🕯 A Place To Be With OTHERS Who Are Grieving! WE support each other.

[Winter2024]

THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL GRIEVERS NO MATTER HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN [years,days].

To participate, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your comment. Click on reply again.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[Winter2024]

😴   I missed you today Julie @JulieT507376 .  🤗🤗🤗

Cadee @Cadee2719 , I hope you have already arrived or on your way to your destination.  🤗🤗🤗

Thank you SO MUCH for stopping by today Jonibee @jonibee and Lisa @LisaJP6763  🤗🤗🤗  and  🤗🤗🤗

Marcy @MarcyW882921 , worrying about you in Florida.  😭😭😭

I "is" heading to go put my FISH microwave dinner in my tiny microwave. NOT a fan of fish, but do two days to hopefully RETURN to a NON pre-diabetic status.  💃💃💃

Then later at 7:30pm ET, my Nightly Walk INSIDE my Studio Apartment for an hour being careful NOT to "step" on Mr.  🐈.  YES AND YES, he picks this time to DEMAND attention  🙄🙄🙄  and "cuts in front" of me until he FINALLY heads to my door to be LET OUT. Lol, yes - Cat Tantrum. Sorry my boy, got to do this (get healthy) to stick around to feed you.  🤣😂

Anyway, hope we ALL sleep tonight.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[LisaJP6763]

Good for you.  I'd give anything if I could even walk 10 minutes, so you're doing great girl!  Kudos!   I'm trying to rest my back after spending a few ours at the old house trying to make it look more like a garage sale. Luckily 2 of my cousins showed up to help.  I found a few more items to bring home, like my paper shredder and some pictures that had been hidden.  

I'm hoping to improve my eating habits as well, I'm on way too much medicine as it is.  Husband only eats meat, potatoes and bread.  And since he does the shopping getting produce is a struggle.  Luckily there's 2 stores fairly close that aren't packed like the other 2 big box stores we have here.  I'll be making regular trips to those soon to finally start getting some fresh produce into my diet.  

Sleep well all, tomorrow is a bright, shiny new day!  Also, for the next few mornings right before sunrise there's a very rare comet that should be visible for us here in Texas.  They said it only comes around this part of the galaxy every 80,000 years!  I gotta see that in the morning.  Hugs and well wishes to all, good night!

[Winter2024]

Thanks Lisa @LisaJP6763  and I HOPE with time things will get FIXED for you.

Lol we have Julie @JulieT507376 , the SAME age 66 like me who can STILL get down on her floor to play with her darling furbaby Sadie  🐕!!!  NOT ME - my knees.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LISA wrote: Good for you.  I'd give anything if I could even walk 10 minutes, so you're doing great girl!  Kudos!   I'm trying to rest my back after spending a few ours at the old house trying to make it look more like a garage sale. Luckily 2 of my cousins showed up to help.  I found a few more items to bring home, like my paper shredder and some pictures that had been hidden.  

I'm hoping to improve my eating habits as well, I'm on way too much medicine as it is.  Husband only eats meat, potatoes and bread.  And since he does the shopping getting produce is a struggle.  Luckily there's 2 stores fairly close that aren't packed like the other 2 big box stores we have here.  I'll be making regular trips to those soon to finally start getting some fresh produce into my diet.  

Sleep well all, tomorrow is a bright, shiny new day!  Also, for the next few mornings right before sunrise there's a very rare comet that should be visible for us here in Texas.  They said it only comes around this part of the galaxy every 80,000 years!  I gotta see that in the morning.  Hugs and well wishes to all, good night! ***]

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[LisaJP6763]

I'm only 61 but apparently my body is 91.  😫  This back thing has been an ongoing issue, the fall on the 4th just really aggravated it and set me back several dozen steps in getting back to normal.  But I won't give up, been through too much to quit now. Retirement is right around the corner!  😁

[Winter2024]

Lisa @LisaJP6763 , BACK ISSUES are NO PICNIC my friend!!!

Are you due for surgery or physical therapy?  🤔

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

---

[*** LISA wrote: I'm only 61 but apparently my body is 91.  😫  This back thing has been an ongoing issue, the fall on the 4th just really aggravated it and set me back several dozen steps in getting back to normal.  But I won't give up, been through too much to quit now. Retirement is right around the corner!  😁 ***]

---

[LisaJP6763]

I don't know what they're going to do.  I've been trying to get an MRI for a few years but insurance kept denying it.  But in no way did I do this on purpose to get an MRI, it's not worth it. I think we would have gotten it through eventually.

That said, I do have an order for an MRI, so that's step one.  They mentioned doing a vertebroplasy, I'm sure that's what the visit to the neurosurgeon is for.  PT might be after I recover from that.  We'll see.  I'll just be glad to finally get some treatment for it.

[LisaJP6763]

OH!  I see my user ID did change, cool!

[Winter2024]

*** MOVED TO TOP OF FORUM SO WE CAN FIND IT. Continuation of our discussion - any updates to share? ***

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦  PARENTING AN ADULT & SPENDING TIME WITH THE GRANDKIDS!!!

[Winter2024]

 Lol, so since the Helene drama here in Virginia and in Florida, I have NOT asked my "only" child (a daughter in FLORIDA) any QUESTIONS = Is she okay?

Now I am WORRIED, but figured IF she wants to SHARE she will = had enough REJECTION at age 66 from her over the years.

The FUNNY PART about this is NOW she has been TEXTING me asking things like - lots of rain for you - are you okay with the flooding and so on.

Now I KNOW my "child" - we have our ROLLERCOASTER RIDES, sometimes she is concerned or shares her life. I use to get ALL HAPPY and then we RETURN within the week to ZERO.

Oh, I DID text back YES with NO details = lol, what she does to my QUESTIONS.  😂🤣  Yes, keeping my distance EMOTIONALLY as she is NOT changing at age 38.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[LisaJP6763]

I hope that works out soon for y'all.  Mother/daughter relationships can be difficult.  Luckily mom and I got past all that before she passed.  Unfortunately, since my sister's death I only have 2 of my cousins left as family.  My younger sister (2 years younger) cut me and mom out of her life 35 years ago.  Mom never knew her grandkids or great-grandkids.  She never got over that and resented my little sister to her death bed.  She hasn't hardly talked to me since we lost our oldest sister.  Oh well, it's been 35 years so far and I'm fine, I'll be fine going forward.  I do with you and your daughter the best.

[Winter2024]

Lisa @LisaJP6763 , life is too short and as of 2015 when I left Florida where EVERYONE is (I followed my daughter to Virginia,best decision I ever made), I left ALL FAMILY DRAMA behind. Because I REFUSE to be controlled when I turn age 18, my mother disowned me and turned my 2 brothers against me. Tried to do the same with my daughter. She died in 2018 and I refused to attend her funeral. Have NO idea who is STILL ALIVE in Florida and DO NOT care. Just care about my daughter.

Unfortunately she HATES Virginia and I HATE Florida. Luv my mountains and 4 seasons.  💃💃💃

She went back to Florida in 2018. Got laid off from her Engineering job in Florida 4/11/24 along with hundreds. A surprise Harris L3 layoff. Refuses to move back to Virginia, still unemployed.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LISA wrote: I hope that works out soon for y'all.  Mother/daughter relationships can be difficult.  Luckily mom and I got past all that before she passed.  Unfortunately, since my sister's death I only have 2 of my cousins left as family.  My younger sister (2 years younger) cut me and mom out of her life 35 years ago.  Mom never knew her grandkids or great-grandkids.  She never got over that and resented my little sister to her death bed.  She hasn't hardly talked to me since we lost our oldest sister.  Oh well, it's been 35 years so far and I'm fine, I'll be fine going forward.  I do with you and your daughter the best. ***]

---

[LisaJP6763]

Well that's a total mess, I'd say you've done well for yourself.  Sometimes you just have to cut the ties.

[LisaJP6763]

Looks like a nice group.  Unfortunately I'm a pro at dealing with grief.  We've lost 7 family members since 2019.  The last one has been the most difficult though.  My oldest sister was murdered by her husband of 49 years on July 18th of this year.  He took his own life a short time later.  She had only been retired for a month and 4 days and was only 68 years old.  Coping with such a horrific death has tested my coping skills however.  We only lived 3 houses apart for 25 years.

[jonibee]

I'm so sorry about all the loss of love ones especially your dear sister..What is wrong in todays world with all the violence that is going on..I wish you peace...

[LisaJP6763]

Thank you. I'll get this right out as I forgot to mention it to Autumn, I go by Lisa, but Melisa is my real name.  I guess I could change that in my settings some time.

My BIL has been mental his whole life, heck, I knew that when I was 11 before they got married in 1975.  We never figured out how they even got together.  The whole marriage was filled with him belittling her and making her feel worthless.  So sad, but she wouldn't leave and I'll never understand that.  

[Winter2024]

WHAT A WONDERFUL SURPRISE!!!  💃💃💃

Welcome Lisa @LisaJP6763 . You are doing great "in spite" of your MULTIPLE losses my friend. You are MOVING into a NEW house with hubbie & going to work. Cadee @Cadee2719 and Julie @JulieT507376 have ALSO had MULTPLE losses.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

---

[*** LISA wrote: Looks like a nice group.  Unfortunately I'm a pro at dealing with grief.  We've lost 7 family members since 2019.  The last one has been the most difficult though.  My oldest sister was murdered by her husband of 49 years on July 18th of this year.  He took his own life a short time later.  She had only been retired for a month and 4 days and was only 68 years old.  Coping with such a horrific death has tested my coping skills however.  We only lived 3 houses apart for 25 years. ***]

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[LisaJP6763]

Yes, it's so peaceful in our new home.  Much smaller so it'll be easier for me to keep clean.  With all the loss and stress of caring for 2 houses and my FIL since my MIL passed in 2020, I didn't have time for anything else.  Our house we're about to sell really suffered for that.  Luckily I found a buyer that wants to turn it into a rent house and he's willing to take it as is.  The best part is I finally got to do my big purge that I've been trying to accomplish since 2019.  I didn't bring anything I haven't used in the past year except for 4 specialty kitchen appliances.  There's so much stuff left at our other house.  Seeing it every Saturday makes me so grateful when I get back home.

[Winter2024]

Yes Lisa @LisaJP6763 , some of us here were CAREGIVERS who put OURSELVES on the back burner. I hope you will NOW be able to MOVE FORWARD once you are all moved and OTHER stuff finalized. We ALL here are playing CATCH UP with OUR HEALTH issues. I know you had Thumb Surgeries and can NO longer journal. Also Disc issues from a work-related incident. Way TOO MUCH on your plate my friend.  😭😭😭

1 Step At A Time is our motto.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LISA wrote: Yes, it's so peaceful in our new home.  Much smaller so it'll be easier for me to keep clean.  With all the loss and stress of caring for 2 houses and my FIL since my MIL passed in 2020, I didn't have time for anything else.  Our house we're about to sell really suffered for that.  Luckily I found a buyer that wants to turn it into a rent house and he's willing to take it as is.  The best part is I finally got to do my big purge that I've been trying to accomplish since 2019.  I didn't bring anything I haven't used in the past year except for 4 specialty kitchen appliances.  There's so much stuff left at our other house.  Seeing it every Saturday makes me so grateful when I get back home. ***]

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[LisaJP6763]

For sure, we're still facing challenges.  Husband's shoulder surgery and I got a referral for an MRI and a visit with a neurosurgeon in a town about 60 miles from here as he's the closest that deals with workers comp issues of that sort.  The MRI is the worst part for me, claustrophobia, anxiety and panic attacks.  I'll have to be medicated for sure.

Lisa

[Winter2024]

👋  Hello Everyone!!!

How are YOU today?

Any plans for TODAY?

Nope for me. Rain is suppose to END on Tuesday here in Virginia. HOPE so!!!  💃💃💃  Want to return to my CAR SPA in the Library Parking Lot. Not much longer for Winter and still need to WD-40 all locks and hinges on the OTHER Old Lady (2006 Hyundai Elantra).

[1] Marcy @MarcyW882921 , please let me know you are okay in Florida. Worried my friend.

[2] Cadee @Cadee2719 , my thoughts are with you TODAY for your 2-hour trip to stay with your BROTHER AND HIS WIFE. It is a bittersweet visit but one that involves spending time with folks who TALK. We will NEVER understand our kids, trust they will bury us when our time arrives. Meanwhile use WHAT TIME we have LEFT to be with folks who ADD to our lives. Hey, you are NOW the Neighborhood Grandma in your NEW neighborhood.  💃💃💃  So please continue to move forward, cry when needed, but know WE HERE LUV YOU SO MUCH my friend.

[3] Dear Julie @JulieT507376 , I know you "may" have MIXED EMOTIONS about your son and his wife and grandson VISITING after NOT doing so WHEN MARK WAS ALIVE. But girl, I am so jealous you have a Grandson. ENJOY HIM and show him by your actions that YOU luv him. He maybe just what YOU AND SADIE need in your NEW LIFE. Hmmm, you said he is age 10. Maybe he and Sadie can EXPLORE your ranch, check things out. I LUV YOU AND SADIE SO MUCH my friend.

[4] Jonibee @jonibee , thank you SO MUCH for being OPEN about your kids. It has helped me to NOT "beat" myself up MORE. Gosh, felt I was a BAD parent. While we were NOT PERFECT  🙄🙄🙄,  our time is drawing near and time to FOCUS as you said on things, people and so on that ADD to our journey. WE WILL ALWAYS have our moments of "sadness" but in between, there will be PEACE, HOPE. Thank you my friend.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[jonibee]

Yes we're going to the local Salvation Army this a.m. as they're having 50% off and I'm a book lover and want to pick up some easy listening CDs that I play when retiring for the night..Plus it's a good look see at all the other stuff...Plus it's a cheap cost...The weather up here is in the 50s and is expected to go up in the 60s no rain as of yet..Hoping all is well where ever you are and hope those of you in the path of the hurricaine fare well...

[Winter2024]

🎂  BIRTHDAY CLUB!!!

Any ▶️*** OCTOBER ***◀️ birthdays to ADD to Our List?

[LisaJP6763]

Another Gemini here.  Birthdate is obvious.  😉

[Winter2024]

Hmmm Lisa @LisaJP6763 , I guess my brain is VERY OLD = are you saying you are ALSO June 7th like Jonibee @jonibee ???/lol  😂🤣

Yes, I "is" clueless after reading your post.  🙄🙄🙄

Sorry,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** LISA wrote:

Another Gemini here.  Birthdate is obvious.  😉 ***]

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[LisaJP6763]

Yes. 6-7-1963.

[jonibee]

I'm a Gemini..can't make up my mind over things and change it at a drop of a pin..Ha..

[jonibee]

Lucky 7 (june 7th)...

[Winter2024]

[Friday 9/27/24]

📸  Attachment  📸  Well I am glad to see someone is NAPPING under my bed. Lol, I am about to FALL OUT OF MY CHAIR, so tired. But I have another 8 hours before he heads out at 10pm tonight to PROWL ALL NIGHT. Wish he would let me ADOPT him = INDOOR cat ONLY. I don't dare fall asleep or the INSIDE OF MY DOOR will be damaged like the OUTSIDE SIDE from his need to scratch to get INSIDE. Oh well...

[Cadee2719]

  i am so glad this cat found you.  Can you tape heavy cardboard onto the back of the door to stop him from damaging it?  This way he can be out and you can rest.  Nicole, you are a nurturer and we all love you for that.  However, it must be exhausting to care for all of us as you do and you really need to take care of Nicole.  I do not know where you get all this energy!  Please take care of yourself.

[Winter2024]

[Friday 9/27/24]

📸  Attachment for Jonibee @jonibee  📸