Aging Alone

[a918543r]

MEET YOUR NEIGHBORS.  Work to have a "block" or "floor" party. So neighbors can meet neighbors.  Sometimes your best family is not related!

[Bklyncowgirl]

I'm with you, justok. I, too, am single with no family close by and few friends who I could count on to schlepp me back and forth for medical procedures and such. And as for after care? Forget about it. I also have a German shepherd and two cats that I'll be damned if I'm giving up just because some people say, ' well maybe you should because it's too inconvenient to have to care for them if something happens.' I, also, have trouble relating to my actual chronological age. I still go for long hikes with my dog in the woods and hills surrounding my home in northern NJ. Yes, there are woods and hills in NJ. I live at the foothills of the Ramapough Mountains. It worries me that there are no support services for someone in my situation. If I were old and feeble it would be a different story. Growing old, as Bette Davis said, is definately not for sissies.

[Nora1955]

No AARP in my area. Senior center is focused more on activities and service (which is great if you don't need help). I keep trying to verify CARE.com for service (driving, cleaning, medical, vet...) but know too few people near me to get recommendations I can trust. I am trying to see if agencies like United Way are around that can assist but I can't find any group within 50 miles of me. Except for working with a few friends and their children or caregivers to form a loose group of people to help each other I am out of ideas. (I have neither friends or neigbors or family nearby) 

I am writing because what you ask is too critical to let it go until a solution is found. Let me know if you have ideas that we can explore. I have a desire to try and do some good while I can even if it is only formulating and disseminating ideas and options.

[Nora1955]

Here I go butting in with advice that is probably not as good as those more experienced but someone needs to offer an alternative. Housing in CA isn't any more expensive trhan anywhere else if you know where to look. I had been looking near the CA/NV border in Henderson Nevada 1) be ause it has affordab le housing and 2) it is so cheap to vacation in Los Vegas (20 miles from  Henderson ) I decided I could even pay for my fam ily to come out.

The most exp[ensive part of moving out west is moving your possessions. I rented a pod so I could load it at my leisure and be able to make ceratin if I wanted or neededit. It not then I can either give it away or get an auction house to help me downsize. Oddly enough I found the furniture I loved started to feel like anchors and will move personal effects, my pets and documents/pictures and little else. But filled to the brim the pod will cost a few thousand dollars and will store it while I lease until I find where I wish to buy. I am now looking at the Oregon coast but with no family there my destination is fluid. My biggest nightmare is the pets. I heard there is a service that will drive a rented RV, you and your pets to wherever you want to go (and tow a vehicle) but I haven't found them yet.

Bottom line - it sounds like you are desparate to be with family as soon as possible. If you were on a sinking ship or a burning house you could decide what matters quickly. Do that now and then get help getting rid of the rest. Live is too short to settle if you can have what you want. Just be careful to find reliable people, friends, agencies to help. 

Let me know what you decide and be aware you can use me for research for downsizing, transportation, housing... anytime you wish. I am hop[ing to get there in a few months if my health will hold up. Maybe we can meet there at some time.

[SIMPLEGAL]

VAGardeningGal....you might want to explore other options. California is extremely expensive.....we moved to Florida. Why not visit your family when you can afford it...or better yet - let them visit you? I'll send you a private message and hope we can discuss this further. Hope to hear from you soon.

[VAGardeningGal]

I’ve been looking for a retirement community for the last couple of years.  Both of my daughters live in the LA area in Calif.  so whenever I’ve made a visit I call various retirement homes and have received info via email.  Unfortunately, I haven’t found a match, because they are to expensive or residents are much older and no longer active.

 After my husband passed away 19 years ago, I moved from CA. to a historic town in VA. where I had friends whom my husband & I knew.  The first 6 years I worked at various educational institutions which occupied my time and where I made friends.  

However, now I want to move back to CA to be close to family again. Currently, I live in a 55+over gated community where there are only 41 homes, but no recreational activities, club house, gym, etc.  In CA I’ve been looking for a combined independent/assisted living community.  The further out of the LA area the community are less expensive which means away from family.  Money is the big factor for not moving and I don’t want to be dependent on family if I deplete my funds.  If I stay in VA I can maintain my current life style but with no family around.

  In the last several years people have passed away in my community and weren’t found for several days because of no friends/family.  This has been very upsetting and another factor for wanting to move to be close to family.  So I can understand the issues many of you are dealing with.  There doesn’t seem to be any organizations involved with single, senior issues (dependent/independent residents, medical, transportation, funding, legal).  There are some federal/state/city assistance, but are very limited.  

So I would like to hear from anyone who might have some ideas or solutions to offer.  Garden Gal

[samstein85]

Aging alone is considered as one of the issues surrounding Americans today. A lot of these people grow old and alone because they chose to be single, wait too long before they get married, and half of the marriages end in divorce. We need to address this issue as early as possible to ensure that we’ll be physically, emotionally and financially ready in the future.

To help address this issue, I made a roundup of strategies for growing old and alone that work. I featured articles that can help old people aging alone to plan for their future, which include topics like advantages of aging alone, tips on how to thrive as an elder orphan, facts about senior isolation, aging in place and planning for possible long term care needs. You can read the article here: http://www.altcp.org/strategies-growing-old-alone/.

Just because you’re single, you should live a miserable life. Plan and make the necessary steps to make your future bright and comfortable even if you’re alone.

[IsabelW546463]

Hello there, 

My father uncle had the same kind of problem few years ago, and in the end, he decided to go and live in retirement village near the city. He has a decent amoun of social activites, he live on the river side, but he can drive himself to the city, and go to those places where he is volounteer, and has a lot of friends there.

You can probbably try to find something simmilar in Waco.

[Nora1955]

I am in the same situation. I couldn't have an upper endoscopy because I had no transportation. They won't accept a commercial solution. I had to have major dental surgery and did it just with novacaine because I had to drive myself.

IThere is no AARP in my county to offer advise and the local senior center seems to only care about events. I am trying to move but am looking into companies like CARE.com for help until I do and then maybe even whereever I move to.

I will let you know if I find any solutions.

[WebWiseWoman]

Hello, justok!

I do have adult children, but consider myself single and don't intrude on my kiddos' families (or should I say try not to).

I live in a senior community but don't know my two nearest neighbors except first name and to say hello when pulling into my garage after work or volunteer activity.

There are so many volunteer activities; have you checked into that (I found Volunteer-Waco, that might give you some ideas)?

Maybe VOA (especially Meals on Wheels kitchen or delivery, which includes disabled young people), Habitat for Humanity, Red Cross, public schools; any volunteer opportunities always attract me and I've made many friends I chat and talk and IM with.

I don't mind living alone; in fact would not be able to do this aging thing any other way as I don't much "like" people, and am so set in my habits, so it works for me.

You should rethink this perhaps. Appreciate the freedom you have to live your life in the moment!

Feel free to DM; we can chat; maybe you can put Vegas on your 3-day weekend list and we can enjoy everything we locals enjoy "off the Strip".

Best to you!

#VegasStrong