Content starts here
CLOSE ×

Search

Funny Stories and Life Experiences

Reply
Honored Social Butterfly

Funny Stories and Life Experiences

New topic featuring funny stories. 

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade…
So remember this story the next time …

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
" Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked,
and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job,
and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door
and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"

He said: “Who screwed up your hair?”

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
92,729 Views
523
Report
1 ACCEPTED SOLUTION
Honored Social Butterfly

What about the elk!

FB_IMG_1543281117972.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper

View solution in original post

0
Kudos
3141
Views
31,616 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

1000010824.jpg

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
59 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Does anyone else remember the National Anthem being played on tv -right before programming stopped for the wee hours!?

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
92 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

1000010760.jpg

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
154 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

The solar eclipse that occurred  today on April 8, 2024, was visible across North America and dubbed the Great North American Eclipse by some media.

Did you see the Eclipse today?

The Eclipse that I saw here in Madison, Wisconsin was about 80%.

1000010755.jpg

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
Gold Conversationalist

Hey Dave! @DaveMcK

Good to know you at least got an 80% view!

Our mostly cloudy day hindered all but a few moments to see it! But I must fess up...that I looked a few times thru the clouds & with short windows of partial clearing...using a friends ‘eclipse glasses’, but at times I also looked without them when a brief sunshine almost came thru!  I heard that for only a few seconds looking was a no-no... you’re not supposed to do even that! It was like a tease...it was hard trying to share glasses...“there it is...no it’s gone...wait there it is again...” ...& the few glimpses was incredible....Hopefully no damage done!

Anyway...as always take care!

☮️  🌄~Allen 🌈  🎨

 

0 Kudos
206 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Who remembers this?

1000010718.jpg

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
308 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

1000010716.jpg

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
Gold Conversationalist

Hey Dave! @DaveMcK

Good one LOL!  😊 haahaaha

LOL!LOL!

 Anyway.....  HAPPY EASTER....

 & I hope you’re healing well from the cataract surgery!

 

As always... Take care my friend! 

☮️  🌄 ~Allen 🌈  🎨

0 Kudos
330 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

1000010624.jpg

I was 26!

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
545 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

1000010414.jpg

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
624 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

2024 is a leap year, meaning Thursday, Feb. 29 is a once-in-every-four-year event.

Since leap years typically happen every four years (although there are some exceptions), our last leap days were in 2020 and 2016, and the next leap year will happen in 2028.

And since this is a day that doesn't come around often, people are celebrating in different ways, with businesses offering special deals in commemoration and others finally celebrating their Feb. 29 birthday.

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
798 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

 

Good Morning My AARP Family, Friends . Don’t underestimate the power of thoughts and words. What you tell yourself every morning will set your mind and life on that path. Talk success, victory, happiness and blessings over your destiny.

If an egg is broken by outside force, life ends, if broken by inside force, life begins. Great things always begin from inside.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay" I need someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not ".

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
Honored Social Butterfly

@DaveMcK  An intimate encounter. 'Great things always begin from inside.' Hope all is well. x

Honored Social Butterfly

1000010171.jpg

I remember all of them!

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
1,009 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

1000010151.jpg

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
1,086 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

1000010135.jpg

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
1,120 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

1000009390.jpg

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
1,249 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

I picked them fresh from the bush and ate some while picking them for making jam.

1000010028.jpg

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
1,335 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

 

1000009396.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
1,446 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

 

1000009884.jpg

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
1,585 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

1000009789.jpg

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
1,690 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

  • 1000009814.jpgl LIKE MULLED WINE!
Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
1,798 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

1000009812.jpg

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
1,820 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

1000009789.jpg

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
1,906 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

7663.jpg

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
2,015 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

THINGS AND HAPPENINGS FROM THE DAYS IN OUR PAST!

 

Life in the Fifties & Sixties

Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot. Before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot, there lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me

We learned to gut a muffler, we washed our hair at dawn. And we got good in sneaking home when our parents were starting to yawn.

We longed for love and romance and waited for our Prince. We danced to 'Little Darlin,' and sang to 'Stagger Lee', we cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Only girls wore earrings then, and three was one too many, only boys wore flat-top cut's, only in our wildest dreams in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice, and when they made a movie, they never made it twice.

Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, Chester had a limp, Festus had a mule and Reagan had a chimp.

We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go, At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.

For youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be, and Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We'd never seen the rock band that was Grateful to be Dead, and Airplanes weren't named Jefferson and Zeppelins were not made of Led.

The Beatles were, Something New and Monkeys didn't live in trees but Alice lived with a white rabbit in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We'd never heard of microwaves or telephones in cars. Pumping iron got wrinkles out and dorms were never co-ed in the Land That Made Me, Me.

We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag and microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.

Hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea and Space shuttles were just coming around in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Our skirts were below the knee to keep our legs from view. And we wore super structured bras, designed by Howard Hughes.

We had no patterned pantyhose but we learned to walk in 2 inch shoes in the Land That Made Me, Me.

Middle-aged was thirty-five and old was fifty-three and ancient were our parents in the Land That Made Me, Me.

But all things have a season or so we've heard them say, and now instead of Maybelline, we swear by Retin-A.

We've come a long way, baby, from the Land That Made Me, Me.

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
2,170 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

 

My Grandfather and I took a trip to the  UP in 1958 and one the things we did was to drive over the Bridge and back to the UP.

The Mackinac Bridge opened for traffic November 1, 1957, or 66 years ago this month. What a change it has made in the lives of most of us in the Upper Peninsula, and especially the eastern U.P. The official bridge dedication celebration was held over three days in late June, 1958, with a grand parade, fireworks, official release by the U. S. Postmaster General Arthur Summerfield of a commemorative stamp, and the first bridge walk, on June 25th, led by Michigan Gov. G. Mennen “Soapy” Williams. The traditional Labor Day date for the walk started in 1959.
June 25th was a rainy and foggy day, which may in part account for the low participation rate: 65 according to information written on the envelope holding the negative for this image, and 100 according to the Evening News account. It was also none too warm, judging by the clothes worn by the people you can see. Zoom in and you might be able to see that some of them appear to be waving at or taking a picture of the aircraft from which this picture was taken. In 2007, 60,000 people took part in the bridge walk, and in 1992, a record 85,000 crossed with President George H.W. Bush and his wife Barbara, who were here campaigning for his re-election. On December 6, 2018, shortly after the former president passed away, we posted a picture of Pres. Bush and his entourage taken during the bridge walk, Photographer unknown. Sault News Collection, neg. # 5018

 

 

FB_IMG_1700434134453.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
2,248 Views
1
Report
Gold Conversationalist

Hi Dave! @DaveMcK

Great story....& Great memories to share!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Take care!  🍂🍁🍂☮️  ~Allen 🌈 🍂🍁🍂

2,241 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

I can not shop at Costco anymore :-)))))Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, which weighs 191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.What did she think I had an elephant?So because I'm retired and have little to do,on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me,
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends...it will be their laugh for the souce.

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
2,284 Views
1
Report
cancel
Showing results for 
Show  only  | Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Users
Need to Know

NEW: AARP Games Tournament Tuesdays! This week, achieve a top score in Bubble Shooter and you could win $100! Learn More.

AARP Games Tournament Tuesdays

More From AARP