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Daily Quote II

Our topic called "Day Quote" has been so very successful that it has become very difficult to post to. So welcome to Daily Quote II.

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper

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Where Do Dates Grow
Little Johnny Jokes

The teacher asks the class: Where do apples grow?

Smart Samantha answers: On apple trees.

The teacher asks the class: Where do pears grow?

Clever Curtis answers: On pear trees.

The teacher asks the class: Where do dates grow?

The class is silent. Little Johnny raises his hand and says:

On calendars?

David Eig
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Words defining dapper

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
Super Contributor

A.A.A.D.D.- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS!
Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
 
Age-Activated Attention-Deficit Disorder.
 
This is how it manifests:
 
I decide to water my garden.    
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,    
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
 
As I start toward the garage,    
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.
 
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
 
I lay my car keys on the table,    
Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
And notice that the can is full.
 
So, I decide to put the bills back    
On the table and take out the garbage first...
 
But then I think,    
Since I'm going to be near the mailbox
When I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
 
I take my check book off the table,    
And see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,    
So I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking      .
 
I'm going to look for my checks,    
But first I need to push the Pepsi aside
So that I don't accidentally knock it over.
 
The Pepsi is getting warm,    
And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
 
As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,    
A vase of flowers on the counter
Catches my eye--they need water.
 
I put the Pepsi on the counter and    
Discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
But first I'm going to water the flowers.
 
I set the glasses back down on the counter ,    
Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
 
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,    
I'll be looking for the remote,
But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
But first I'll water the flowers.
 
I pour some water in the flowers,    
But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
 
So, I set the remote back on the table,    
Get some towels and wipe up the spill.
 
Then, I head down the hall trying to    
Remember what I was planning to do.
 
At the end of the day:    
The car isn't washed,    
The bills aren't paid,    
There is a warm can of    
Pepsi sitting on the counter,    
The flowers don't have enough water,    
There is still only 1 check in my check book,    
I can't find the remote,    
I can't find my glasses,    
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.    
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,    
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
And I'm really tired.
 
I realize this is a serious problem,    
And I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....
 
Do me a favor    
Forward this message to everyone you know,
Because I don't remember who I've sent it to.
 
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!
P.S.      I don't remember who sent it to me, so if it was you, I'm sorry.


 

 

David Eig
Honored Social Butterfly

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Oh, @DaveMcK, how true.  Yes, sad and oh so very, very true.

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"Optimism is going after Moby Dick in a rowboat;
Chutzpah is taking the tartar sauce with you!
David Eig
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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Happy Friday Everyone 

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Peace.  Be Still.

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