Honored Social Butterfly

Daily Quote II

Our topic called "Day Quote" has been so very successful that it has become very difficult to post to. So welcome to Daily Quote II.


Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
Honored Social Butterfly



Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper

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Where Do Dates Grow
Little Johnny Jokes

The teacher asks the class: Where do apples grow?

Smart Samantha answers: On apple trees.

The teacher asks the class: Where do pears grow?

Clever Curtis answers: On pear trees.

The teacher asks the class: Where do dates grow?

The class is silent. Little Johnny raises his hand and says:

On calendars?

David Eig
Honored Social Butterfly





Words defining dapper

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
Super Contributor

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Age-Activated Attention-Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.    
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,    
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start toward the garage,    
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table,    
Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
And notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back    
On the table and take out the garbage first...
But then I think,    
Since I'm going to be near the mailbox
When I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table,    
And see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,    
So I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking      .
I'm going to look for my checks,    
But first I need to push the Pepsi aside
So that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The Pepsi is getting warm,    
And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,    
A vase of flowers on the counter
Catches my eye--they need water.
I put the Pepsi on the counter and    
Discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
But first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter ,    
Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,    
I'll be looking for the remote,
But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
But first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers,    
But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table,    
Get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to    
Remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:    
The car isn't washed,    
The bills aren't paid,    
There is a warm can of    
Pepsi sitting on the counter,    
The flowers don't have enough water,    
There is still only 1 check in my check book,    
I can't find the remote,    
I can't find my glasses,    
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.    
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,    
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
And I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem,    
And I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....
Do me a favor    
Forward this message to everyone you know,
Because I don't remember who I've sent it to.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!
P.S.      I don't remember who sent it to me, so if it was you, I'm sorry.



David Eig
Honored Social Butterfly


Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
Honored Social Butterfly

Oh, @DaveMcK, how true.  Yes, sad and oh so very, very true.

Honored Social Butterfly




Honored Social Butterfly

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Honored Social Butterfly


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Super Contributor

"Optimism is going after Moby Dick in a rowboat;
Chutzpah is taking the tartar sauce with you!
David Eig
Honored Social Butterfly


Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Honored Social Butterfly


Honored Social Butterfly


Honored Social Butterfly


Honored Social Butterfly


Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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Happy Friday Everyone 

Honored Social Butterfly

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Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
Honored Social Butterfly


Gold Conversationalist



Gold Conversationalist



Honored Social Butterfly


Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
Honored Social Butterfly


Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
Honored Social Butterfly


Peace.  Be Still.

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Honored Social Butterfly


Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
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